The Rose of Self
by PhantomFan01
Summary: It is the year 1906. A girl who is a little bit quirky meets a prince deformed by a fire. But what happens when Prince Erik Destler finds out Caroline Bellerose is not so different from him as he first thought? Will love blossom between them or will Caroline's 'quirks' and a figure from her past get in the way? Rated M for scenes of self harm and torture.
1. Prologue

**Hi guys here is a new story for you :) I don't own any elements from the movie or the book but I do own Caroline :) Any reviews are welcome and constructive criticism is welcome too :) On with the show :D**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Prologue**

What is normal? Is normal what is perceived by society as what should be or is anyone ever truly normal in the eyes of society? But what happens when someone acts 'outside the norm' or acts differently to what is considered normal outside of society? Should they be rejected and shunned or should their differences be embraced and just be seen as a 'little bit quirky'?

It is the year 1906, this is the story of a girl who broke through the rules and constraints of society and had someone embrace her differences by loving her for who she is. But wait, I am getting ahead of myself...This is my story of how I found love and acceptance in the most unlikely of places because...Can anyone ever truly considered to be normal by definition or is it in the eyes of society that defines what 'normal' is? Learn how I was loved and accepted for being just 'a little bit quirky' and finding my place in the world...and finding out where I truly belonged in society...


	2. Chapter 1

**Hi guys here is the next chapter :D I would like to thank SailorSedna052 for being my first favourite and follow :) I would also like to thank Angelofmusic46 for being my first reviewer as well as favourite and follow my story :) Your kind words mean a lot and it is nice to know my story is loved :) As you know I don't own anything from Phantom but I own my own characters :) On with the show :D Oh yes anything in italics is the character dreaming :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter One: I Find People Confusing...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~September 1906~**

I am Caroline Bellerose and at the age of 16 in the year 1906 I lost my parents to the De Chagny's; a family who only care for one thing and that is power.

My mother called Karoline was betrothed to my father Alexandre at a young age and was a very happy couple; that was until I was born. My mother knew to call me Caroline after her; with a one letter difference but my father wanted to call me Katherine instead. But he was won over; so my life was filled with joy and laughter, at first. However as I grew older; looking more and more like my mother as each day passed, my father noticed I didn't live up to my name as much as he wanted me to and to the fullest. Instead of being adventurous and loving change to the fullest I detested it; but even though rebellion, intelligence and fighting against restrictions and rules was part of my namesake I still never really got on well with my father.

But let's not dwell too much on the past. It has been precisely six months since my parents were taken from me and I have been living with my 'Aunt' Antoinette Giry and my 'Uncle' Nadir Kahn in hiding as the threat from the De Chagny's was still at large. Antoinette and Nadir have been my parent's advisers for as long as I can remember but when my parents were killed they became my parents; however I call them Aunt and Uncle out of ingrained politeness, mostly on my father's insistence.

It was like any other morning in my life where I have the routine of getting up at precisely 7:01am; not sure why it has to be precisely at that time but I guess it is one of the things I do because I am a 'little bit quirky'. After breakfast I then have tutoring where I learn all about maths, history, science and everything else in between. I also learn about ruling a nation and etiquette which I never really like as I find the rules so confusing. Why can't anyone explain to me why I find people so confusing? I mean all my life I have been unable to make friends except with Antoinette and Nadir as they never judged me; I don't even get on well with the castle staff as they always judged me. I felt like they were always criticising me when they were staring at me whenever I did something not 'proper' or out of the ordinary. But who dictates what is proper and what isn't? I know the first thing I'll do is change the rules on etiquette and what is deemed 'proper' the moment I am crowned queen; however I cannot become queen until I am 18. Once tutoring is over after three hours of learning I am then allowed to spend my time in any way I please; I decided to wander the gardens whilst the weather was nice as I enjoy looking at all of the flowers we grow there. As I walked around smelling the flowers I just stood there and closed my eyes; feeling the sun on my face and enjoying its warmth and that's when I heard it, a bird singing somewhere in the distance inspiring me to compose. I ran back into the castle up to the music room where my violin resided and started to write down the notes frantically before I forgot any part of my song. After several hours of writing down, scribbling out and playing my violin later my song was finished; but there was one thing missing...a name. What would I call this piece? But no matter how much I thought of a name none came to me; I decided to leave it on my music stand for the time being until a name came to me. I left out of the music room and just wandered the corridors aimlessly thinking of what I should do next. Soon enough I found myself in the library where we have hundreds upon hundreds of books on every subject imaginable. I remember as a child not being allowed to read any of the books except the story books as it was frowned upon for a woman to read and show any kind of intelligence. However when my parents died my Aunt and Uncle allowed me to read whatever books I pleased as well as get educated on science and maths which I wasn't educated on before. When I was a child all I had to learn about was needlepoint, etiquette and how to rule a kingdom; but even though I could comprehend the science there was still so much more I wanted to know about the world. I just wished I had the courage to go and explore it but I don't think I could handle the change in my routine if I did so. As I sat and read a book all about the meaning of flowers there was a knock on the door and so I put my book down before proceeding to open the door a little to see who was on the other side.

"Sorry to disturb you miss but I was sent to inform you that dinner's ready and on the table."

"Ok I'll be right down." I replied quietly and so after putting the book back on the shelf I went down to the dining room where Nadir and Antoinette were already settled down and eating their dinner.

"Ah Caroline so glad you could join us. How has your day been today?" Nadir asked as he ate.

"I learnt all about earthquakes today; it was really interesting. I also had a walk in the gardens and composed a new song." I replied excitedly.

"I thought I could hear music echoing through the castle; it sounded beautiful. What's it called?" Antoinette asked curiously.

"I haven't thought of a name so far; but it will come to me. Usually when I least expect it." I replied once I finished my mouthful of food.

"I'm glad you've had such a productive day darling." Antoinette said in a motherly way. We then sat and ate in contemplative silence. Once we finished we sat in front of the fire and talked about what is going on in the town at the moment until I decided to turn in for the night.

 _I found myself down a familiar corridor but something didn't feel right; it was too quiet for my liking and there was this feeling of darkness and foreboding in the air._

" _Mother? Father? Are you there?" I called out hoping they would answer me; but no-one answered which worried me greatly. As I walked around I heard voices that I didn't recognise coming from the lounge and so I went to investigate to see a figure standing there with a sword in their hand._

" _The reign of the Bellerose family is over! And we will gain the hand of their daughter when she comes of age!" The figure said deeply and I then realised there were figures lying on the floor that looked like my parents causing a whimper to unintentionally escape my lips. I could hear the whimper echoing around the corridor causing the figure to turn around and stare in my direction. I tried running but their laughter followed me and when I looked back I tripped causing me to fall to the floor; I then looked up to see the sword ominously coming towards me and a scream escaped my lips..._

"Caroline wake up! You're having a nightmare no-one can harm you!" A voice called out and I looked around to see Antoinette sitting by my bed with a worried look in her eyes.

"Why does the memory continue to haunt me so?" I asked tearfully as I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist which she returned gently.

"I don't know dear but I wish I could make the memory go away darling." She replied soothingly as she rubbed my back up and down a little.

"I just wish the memory would stop haunting me so much." I continued tearfully as the tears couldn't stop falling.

"I'll get you a cup of cocoa; that should soothe you so you can get a few more hours of sleep." And with that she left the room with purpose in her stride and I closed my eyes for a few moments hoping to catch up on lost sleep. But every time I closed my eyes I kept seeing the death of my parents over and over again. When I heard the door open again I was sitting on my bed with my arms wrapped around my knees and rocking backwards and forwards.

"Here's your cocoa darling." She cooed gently and I took it from her gently before blowing on it a little so I could drink it without burning my lips. Once I finished it I felt a bit more sleepy and so I placed it on the bedside table before curling under the covers, closing my eyes and letting sleep take over.

When I woke up again I felt the sun filtering through the windows and it felt like today was going to be a good day. I got up and looked at the calendar to realise it was my birthday today causing an excited squeal to escape my lips. After getting into my favourite dress I ran downstairs to see a feast spread out on the table.

"Happy birthday Caroline!" Everyone called out at once and I sat down before helping myself to a big pile of pancakes with strawberries and chocolate chips; my favourite birthday breakfasts treat. Once I finished breakfast the maids cleared the table and suddenly there were lots of presents being piled onto the table. I gently opened each one even though I wanted to be an excited child really.

"Darling we won't judge you if you want your inner child to come through." Antoinette said gently and with that I started ripping the paper off like a child on Christmas morning. Most of the presents were books but one present intrigued me the most; inside the box was the most beautifully crafted mask which was white with black music notes painted on.

"Who's this one from?" I asked myself and I proceeded to look through the wrapping for some sort of gift tag or note.

"There's no note. That's odd; why would someone give me a gift without leaving a note?" I continued to ask myself hoping the answer would come to me. I looked up to see this strange look overcoming Antoinette and Nadir's face; but what was it exactly? Was this the look they exhibit when they know something they don't? I then watched as they talked to each other quietly for a moment before they said simultaneously.

"If you'll excuse us we have some errands to run before tonight." And they left the room as I watched on with furrowed brows.

"What just happened there? I find people so confusing." I muttered to myself and with a shake of the head I put my presents away as thoughts of the mysterious sender ran through my head...


	3. Chapter 2

**Hi guys I'm on a roll :) Here's another chapter :) Thank you Angelofmusic46 for reviewing my story :) You know the drill...I don't own anything from Phantom but I own my own character :) On with the show :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Two: My Past is not Today...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~September 1906~**

The past can haunt you and sometimes even define you. After the fire that destroyed my home, killed my mother and disfigured me I was never the same person as before. I became a recluse and would spend hours in my room composing and reading. I would also constantly argue with my father about the fact that I had the whole world in front of me until I became disfigured and that I couldn't become king unless I married. However my father constantly believed the fact that no woman would ever want me as I look like a monster and no woman could ever love a monster. I think my father takes his frustration out on me as he believes I was the one who took mother away from him; the woman who he loved more than life itself.

One morning I was in my room composing and getting lost in my own world when there was a knock on the door causing me to slam on the keys angrily.

"Enter!" I said seethingly. I then looked up to see one of the maids peeping nervously behind the door.

"I'm sorry to disturb you sir but your father wants to speak to you immediately."

"Inform my father I'll be down momentarily." And so after tidying up my papers and closing the lid on the piano I went down to father's study. I knocked on the door and I heard him say 'enter' and so I opened the door before saying politely although I was not happy about the fact I was interrupted part way through composing.

"You wanted to see me father?"

"Yes indeed Erik. You are to attend Caroline Bellerose's birthday event this evening; I took the liberty of sending her a gift anonymously. I will take no for an answer." He replied evenly.

"How come I am only been invited this year and why haven't I heard of her before? Also why did you send her a gift anonymously?" I asked evenly.

"Enough with the questions you need to get ready for the event. Antoinette Giry and Nadir Kahn should be here any moment now to pick you up." And just as he said that there was another knock at the door.

"I'll see who it is father." And I opened it to see the maid from earlier on the other side although she wasn't looking so nervous unlike last time.

"There's an Antoinette Giry and Nadir Kahn waiting outside for you sir."

"Inform them I will be there momentarily." I said gently and after she left I excused my father and went up to my room where I changed into a black suit with a white billowy shirt and red cravat. After making sure my white half mask was securely in place I went downstairs to see them waiting for me.

"Ah Antoinette and Nadir it's so good to see you again; it appears I'll be attending an event at your place this evening involving a Caroline Bellerose. You'll have to say more about her on the journey up."

"I'm afraid we have to be careful talking about her as we could risk her life doing so." Antoinette replied quietly which made a load of questions run through my head all at once. Who was this Caroline Bellerose? Why can't we talk about her in public? Why haven't I heard of her before? Why would my father send her a present for her birthday? And why did I have to go to this event anyway? We arrived and I watched the people entering the building for a moment; why did this building seem so familiar? It was like I was visiting a memory from my past. I entered and everyone stared at me for a good long while before going about their business again; this is the reason why I hate going to big events as people always judge me due to the mask I wear. But as I looked around I realised there were a lot of people here; how does the Bellerose family know so many people? However my musings were interrupted when I heard the announcer say.

"May I present the beautiful and the talented Caroline Bellerose? I would like to thank everyone for attending Caroline's 17th birthday. Now enjoy the festivities and drink to your heart's content!" And with that the announcer left the room allowing me to see her properly for the first time; or so I thought. As I watched her elegantly descend the staircase it was like I was going down memory lane; a time long since passed. However I found myself unable to remember why it appears I recognise her as I haven't really left my home since before the fire when I was about 16. Now at the age of 20 I haven't been out of my home; had I may be seen her when I was a child and that's why I don't recall her straight away. I continued to watch her from the sidelines as I sipped my champagne and I noticed the fact she looked nervous like she wanted to bolt any moment. I could also tell she wasn't really talking with any of the guests; why was she so aloof? Wasn't she taught by her parents the art of etiquette? And speaking of her parents why couldn't I see them anywhere? I could see Antoinette and Nadir standing nearby but her parents were nowhere to be seen. I then placed my empty glass on a passing tray and decided to pop over and talk to her. But before I could reach her someone beat me to her and started to talk to her; but throughout the conversation she looked like she wanted to run and she also looked almost scared of the person standing in front of her. Why was she so afraid of this particular person? Before I could even stop myself I went up to them and said politely.

"Mind if I cut in?" But instead of waiting for a reply I took hold of her hand and gently led her towards the balcony; ignoring everyone's stunned and judgemental looks as I went. We reached the balcony and I quickly let go of her hand as we stood and looked across the garden in contemplative silence.

"Why were you so afraid of that man?" I asked quickly. However instead of replying she just gave me a stunned look before looking out over the gardens again. I took her gently by the shoulders and turned her around so I could look at her directly.

"I noticed you were afraid of that man; who is he and why are you so afraid of him?" I asked almost hypnotically. However she didn't seem to react to my voice but instead she was looking slightly downwards. Why wouldn't she look me in the eye or even speak to me? Was she afraid of the mask or was it something else? But before I could ask her two panicked voices exclaimed simultaneously.

"Oh Caroline we were so worried when you were confronted by that scum from the De Chagny family. I see you've met Prince Erik Destler; are you going to thank him for helping you dear?" So that man I saw was from the De Chagny family. I've heard of the family before but what have they got to do with the Bellerose family?

"What happened to De Chagny?" I heard her ask Antoinette quietly.

"We called for the guards to throw him out and to make sure he never comes back." She replied.

"Thank you Erik for getting her out of the clutches. Caroline dear you look tired, do you want to rest?" And she nodded in agreement before coming out of my grasp and into the arms of Antoinette.

"Once again Erik thank you." And with that she left the balcony causing a feeling of coldness to come over me; but why did I feel like this after our first meeting? We never really talked and she wouldn't even look at me. I then decided I had been at the party long enough; after getting my cloak I left out of the building without looking back at the girl who somehow captured my heart...


	4. Chapter 3

**Hi guys another chapter is up :) As you know I don't own anything from Phantom but I own Caroline as she is my own character :) On with the show and thank you to OptimusPrimegirl213 for favoriting, following and reviewing my story :) And thank you to Angelofmusic46 for being a loyal reviewer :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Three: Be the Good Girl You Always Have To Be...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~October 1906~**

It has been about a month since I saw Prince Erik Destler at my birthday celebration and lots of questions were running through my head. Why did he help me that night? Why did he seem so familiar to me? Why couldn't I speak a word to him? And why did Antoinette and Nadir seem so familiar with him? But most of all why did the De Chagny family turn up or more so why did Raoul's father turn up? I thought he wasn't around anymore after my parents were killed by the De Chagny family so why was he there last night? My musings were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Enter." I called out as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before getting out of bed and putting a robe on.

"Morning princess. Your breakfast is ready downstairs; I'll leave you to get ready." And with that the maid left the room which allowed me to get ready for the day. As I ate my breakfast in quiet contemplation my thoughts kept drifting back to Erik and De Chagny.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Nadir asked teasingly.

"Why was De Chagny here last night and what took you so long to kick him out?" I asked quietly; I blushed when I realised I probably sounded abrupt and rude.

"We are not sure how he got here or how he knew about the party but before we could even reach you it appeared Erik had beaten us to it." Antoinette replied gently; all the while I nodded as I continued to eat my breakfast.

"What's the schedule for today?" I asked curiously.

"You'll have tutoring this morning once you have finished breakfast and then the rest of the day is free to do with as you please." Nadir replied matter of factly.

"But I don't like learning etiquette; how many people actually follow the rules dictated by society?" I whined.

"I'm sorry but whether you like the lessons or not you need to know how to rule a kingdom and how people view you as a ruler. Anyway it's only two hours then you can spend the rest of the day doing whatever pleases you the most." Nadir continued firmly before changing to a more fatherly tone.

"Ok I'll do my morning tutoring but I don't necessarily have to like it; I'll just tolerate it because you are like the father I wished I had." I replied irritably.

"Your father loved you very much even though he didn't show it much." Antoinette said gently.

"I don't think he did at all; he always use to tell me how I didn't live up to my mother's name and how I disappointed him so by tarnishing her good name and reputation. I was a disappointment in his eyes."

"You are not a disappointment at all; you are a strong, independent, intelligent and talented woman. Now enough of this depressing talk; the tutor will be here any moment for your lessons." And so after bidding Nadir and Antoinette good day I went to the library where I found the tutor waiting with a book in his hands.

"Ah Miss Bellerose how lovely to see you again. I'll be going through the finer points of etiquette; more so how to rule a kingdom and how to behave around your king and husband." He explained cordially.

"I'm sorry but I wouldn't want to waste your time; I probably won't be married and I'll just rule without a king beside me."

"How dare you talk back to me like that you insolent girl!? You will learn this no matter what the circumstances! Now let us begin we have wasted enough time as it is." But instead of warranting him with a reply I sat there in obedient silence like my father always wanted me to do; I had to be a good girl in front of everyone and I wasn't allowed to speak out of turn.

"Now back to the lesson at hand." And with that he went through all the rules of courting even though I would never use them; I mean when do men follow these rules of courtship anyway? Especially when the marriage is arranged and they don't court for very long at all. After lesson I stayed locked away in the music room composing wordless melodies filled with the sadness and the pain I felt inside. I wasn't sure how much time had passed; however discordant notes escaped my violin when I was interrupted by a knock on the door causing a wince to grace my features.

"Caroline. Are you in there? You've been in there an awfully long time. Please come out and let's talk about it over dinner." I heard Nadir say gently through the door. I didn't respond but instead continued to play haunting melodies whilst Nadir rattled the door from the outside. Soon enough the noise died down and after hours of playing I lost my inspiration and so resorted to staring out of the window instead. As I stared out of the window looking at the stars I felt my eyelids droop and I succumbed to the feeling of sleep and the darkness it brought.

For three days I sat holed up in the music room going between staring out of the window for long periods of time to playing wordless melodies on my violin that ranged from between sad and haunting to discordant and angry-sounding.

On the third day I was playing on my violin when the door was opened suddenly.

"Caroline when were you going to come out of here?! You haven't eaten in three days and you have done nothing but play haunting wordless melodies. Please tell us what has got into you and why you are in such a stupor." Nadir asked as he approached me. I didn't reply but continued to play my violin hoping he would just leave me alone. However that wasn't to be; a moment later I felt a hand touch my shoulder gently causing me to lash out at whomever disturbed my moment of composing.

"There's no need for that now is there? Now why don't we sit down and talk about it?"

"Talking about it won't solve the problem. Nothing can solve the problem." I replied spitefully as I backed away from Nadir.

"How do you know unless you talk to me about it?" And so with an angry sigh I sat down on the piano bench before Nadir sat down beside me.

"So why have you locked yourself away for three days my dear?"

"I spoke out against the tutor when he wanted to teach me the rules of courtship. I mean do you really have to get married to rule? I could probably rule the kingdom without a king beside me anyway. I don't think anyone would ever love me for who I am because I am a freak; someone who can't be loved by anyone." I replied sadly.

"That is not true darling. Everyone has that person who loves them unconditionally in the world; you just have to find them." He replied soothingly but I still didn't believe him for a moment.

"That's not true; I am unconventional in the eyes of society and considered not normal. Why would I be able to find love of any sort? You are only saying that to make me feel better and it isn't working!" And with that I left the room with a slam of the door. I then decided to take a walk out in the gardens as it was something I liked to do when I am upset or stressed or angry about something. As I walked around the garden it gave me time to think about what I said to Nadir; was what I said true or was I just angry about what the tutor said? And if everyone had a person in the world who loved them unconditionally how come Nadir is still single? I think all the time I have known Nadir I have never heard or seen any sign of that special woman in his life. Maybe I am just destined to be alone for the rest of my life; but as I said before I could easily rule this kingdom without a king beside me. In fact I bet I could rule the kingdom better than any king who has ruled in my lifetime. Once I had calmed down sufficiently I came inside the castle to see no-one in sight; where was everyone? I wandered the castle trying to find the staff but there was no-one around. But my curiosity got the better of me when I saw a closed door and I heard voices coming from behind it. I looked around to see no maids about and so I knelt down in front of the door before placing my ear against the wood of the door.

"What do you mean we shouldn't tell her yet? She deserves to know the truth." I heard Antoinette say first. What did she want to tell me?

"She will find out when she turns 18. But for now we need to keep it under wraps until the time is right." Nadir explained matter of factly.

"Now why don't we find her and see if she feels any better yet?" And with that I ran away from the door as quickly as possible before they even left the room; once I reached the music room I locked myself away again and played haunting melodies the whole time.

"Caroline are you going to come out of there?" I heard Nadir ask. After putting down my violin I decided to finally come out of my room otherwise I won't hear the end of it from him.

"I am so glad to see you again dear; we were worried you were never going to come out." Antoinette said gently as she embraced me tightly; however I had to keep quiet about the conversation I overheard as I returned her embrace.

"Now why don't you join us for dinner since you haven't eaten in three days?" Nadir asked gently and I nodded in agreement before proceeding to follow them down the stairs. As we ate I talked about what I composed during my time in hiding.

"Well I certainly can't wait to hear some of your new pieces darling." Antoinette said gently.

"I'll try to do that sometime soon." I replied happily.

"Maybe you could perform one of your pieces at the Halloween event that is to occur at the end of the month in three weeks time." Nadir suggested cordially.

"Oh no I completely forgot about the Halloween event and I still haven't thought about making a costume yet!" And after gulping down the last mouthful of food I ran up to my sewing room. Once I got there I pulled out a sketchpad from a nearby drawer and started crazily drawing designs for my costume. But after every drawing I ripped it out before screwing it up and throwing it across the room.

"Oh what am I to do? I only have three weeks to think up of a costume and make it. I can't afford to look sub-standard; I have a reputation to uphold and can't afford not to have the best costume at the event." I said to myself as I continued to throw away design after design. I then put down my sketchpad to go towards the window before looking out of it with a sigh. What could I go as? I then had a thought as I saw the roses in full bloom outside my window. Would it be possible to make a dress look similar to a rose? I then went back to my sketchpad and sketched out my idea; once it was finished I went to my shelving where I picked out a burgundy red fabric similar to the colour of the roses outside and proceeded to cut out the pieces. At one point whilst I was sewing I thought I heard movement outside but I thought nothing of it as I continued to make the dress until the base was finished. I could then add on the details tomorrow and do so until it looked like a rose would if it was in dress form. But what mask would I wear and how would I create the right one? I then remembered I had a mask from an event a few years ago that was plain white; could I perhaps customise it to match my costume? After rifling through the drawers I found the mask which covered half of my face from the top of the forehead down to the top of my lips; covering my nose in the process. I then found some red paint and proceeded to cover the entire mask in red and then add some details in black. Once it was finished I left it to dry on my head mannequin by the window before proceeding to go to sleep for the night...


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey hey another chapter :D Thank you to all of my reviewers, followers and favourites :) Thank you to Angelofmusic46 for reviewing all of my chapters :D I don't own anything from phantom but I do own my OC :D On with the show :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Four: Father and Son**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~October 1906~**

 **~3 Weeks before the Bellerose Halloween Event~**

As I sat composing at my piano that morning a knock on the door once again caused discordant notes to escape the instrument.

"Who dares disturb my moment of composing!?" I yelled angrily as I went angrily towards the door before opening it forcefully. However I calmed a little when I saw my father standing on the other side although I still gave him a bit of an icy glare.

"Good morning father; what brings you to my sanctuary of music?" I asked stoically through gritted teeth.

"You are invited to the Bellerose Halloween Event in three weeks time; you are to attend with no questions or excuses. It's your duty to attend this event." He said coldly and with that he left the room without another word.

"Why do I have to attend this event? This is the second time I have had to attend an event involving this princess. Maybe this time I will be able to find out more about this mysterious Princess Bellerose." I thought to myself. I then decided to think about the costume I will wear as well as a mask to go with the costume as it is to be a masquerade event once again. After about half an hour or so I decided to create a musketeer costume by making a jacket in red to go over my own shirt and trousers. I will then wear a black bandit style mask on my face which will cover my deformity whilst matching the theme of my costume. But before I could go and start making my costume there was a knock on the door. Who was interrupting me right now? I asked angrily to myself before proceeding to answer the door.

"Please come with me Erik your father has some news for you." The maid said quietly and so without asking questions I followed her down the corridor towards the study. Why did my father just summon me after he left? Was he hiding something from me before and decided now was a good time to tell me or did he only just find out the news today? What was the news even about? Once I got to the study I knocked on the door and waited to be allowed entry. I heard him say 'enter' and so I entered and said seriously.

"You wanted to see me father?" And I closed the door before waiting to see what he would do next.

"Yes I have some rather troubling news."

"What kind of news?" I asked quietly.

"I am dying Erik; it has been known for some time that I am sick and the illness has finally caught up with me. None of the doctors know what it is but there is no cure. I'm sorry Erik that I haven't been a good father to you since mother died but I want to make it up to you now because I don't know how much longer I have left."

"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked coldly; not believing what he was saying for a moment.

"I didn't want to believe it at first; I thought maybe the doctors made a mistake or there was some way they could cure it. But that wasn't to be. But I have known about the illness for a few months now. I just wished I told you earlier so I have more time to make it up to you." He replied as he took hold of my hand.

"Now why don't you let me know what costume you are planning and I will help you all I can create the best costume France has ever seen?"

"I was planning to go as a musketeer. I just need to create a red military style jacket and my costume will be complete."

"Ok; do you have some suitable fabric or do you want me to order some in for you?"

"I'll look in my fabric arsenal to see what's available first but I might take you up on the offer." I replied happily. I then left the room with my head held high and a weight off my shoulders. Once I got to my sewing room I looked through the shelving at all of the different fabrics I owned; however I couldn't find the shade of red I wanted in a velvet fabric. I wanted a bright scarlet but all I had was burgundy and so I went out in search of my father. As I stepped out from my room I bumped into him.

"Just the person I needed to see; father I will take you up on that offer of ordering in some fabric. I was wondering if you could order in some scarlet velvet as well as some gold trimming for my military inspired jacket please."

"Sure Erik my son; I have a friend who is a tailor and can get you the fabric really fast so you have enough time to work on your jacket." He replied and with that he left down the corridor. I stood there a moment just realising what had occurred exactly; why couldn't my father had been like this before? Why did it take news of his own impending death to make him the loving father I always wanted him to be? I then ran out of the castle and jumped onto my horse Caesar as I felt the need to ride out my feelings of frustration and anger right now. But why was I so angry for? I mean I know I never really got on well with my father but was that the only reason why I was angry at him? I pulled on the reins and shook my head a little until the negative thoughts residing in my mind subsided. I then rode back to see a man offloading two rolls of scarlet velvet fabric off of a wagon.

"Ah Erik I'm so glad for your custom once again; I hope this fabric will suit you for your project and I will look forward to your custom again soon." The gentleman explained and after my father paid him he left out of the open gate. I then helped my father carry each of the rolls of fabric up to my sewing room before placing them down on my workbench. Once they were both in the room I said gratefully.

"Thank you for getting the fabric here so quickly. I'll be in here if you need me." And so after my father left the room I proceeded to draw out a design of the jacket for my costume. But for a while I kept creating drawing after drawing and as darkness took over I found myself surrounded by piles of screwed up paper. But before I could draw out another design I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I opened it to see the maid from earlier.

"Just to inform you dinner is ready and served on the table; your father will be joining you this evening." I nodded in assent and so made my way to the dining room; I guess he was making up for all the times he wasn't at dinner by doing so now since he was going to be leaving us soon. I wonder what ailed my father and why the doctors didn't know what the illness was called yet.

"Ah Erik so glad you could join us for dinner this evening. How is your costume getting on?" He asked cordially as I served up my portion of dinner.

"Not so great I am afraid; so far every idea I have drawn out wasn't quite right. I think the right idea will come to me when I am least thinking about it and in time for the event." I replied forlornly before taking in a mouthful of food.

"I'm sure the idea will come to you; I have faith in your talent and genius." He said gently which caused me to smile a little. Once I finished I excused myself and went back to my sewing room to try and think up of a design for my costume. After several more hours of drawing and screwing up bits of paper I decided to call it a night.

It was early the next morning and I woke up to an idea swirling in my head. Once I got to my sewing room I drew out the design and once it was finished I was pleased with the result. The finished design was a tailored long military-style jacket with gold accents including gold epaulettes as well as exaggerated sleeve cuffs. I then set about cutting out the pieces which will make up the jacket. As I looked at the design I noticed how much it looked like a pirate's jacket instead of a musketeer jacket; I guess this was why I found it so hard to design the jacket as I wasn't feeling my original musketeers costume idea. I then decided to come as a pirate with tight black trousers and a ruffled poet's shirt with a bright red cummerbund and cravat. But there was something missing from my costume; the hat with a white feather in it. I then decided to seek out my father to see if he was able to obtain a hat in time for the event. I eventually found my father sitting at the table eating his breakfast.

"Ah Erik there you are; I didn't want to disturb you as I heard from the maids you were busy in your sewing room designing. Has your time in there been productive today?" He asked as I sat in my usual seat and dished up some eggs and toast.

"Indeed I have. I have finished the design for the jacket; but it has come up more different than I originally planned and I have completely changed what I am to wear to the event." I replied matter of factly.

"What have you changed your costume to?" He asked curiously as he sipped his usual morning coffee.

"I've decided to come as a pirate captain. Do you have any way of getting access to a pirate captain's hat?"

"I know someone who makes hats; I'll give them word and it should be ready within a week." He replied and so after he finished breakfast I saw him get hold of a pen and a piece of paper. He wrote a note before giving it to a servant to send to his friend.

"Thank you for doing that for me. I'll be in my music room if you need me." And so I went in to compose as I thought of bringing along a piece of music with me to be performed at the event. But would I perform it on the piano or violin? I then remembered the piano that was at the Bellerose castle and so I proceeded to compose one melody after the other. But every melody I wrote down didn't have the exact feeling I wanted to convey; but what was the feeling I wanted to convey? Why was I finding it so difficult to know what I wanted to convey through music? As I continued to play my thoughts kept drifting back to Caroline Bellerose after the night of her 17th birthday. Why did she seem familiar to me and how does my father know about her? I guess this is why I couldn't convey my feelings as they were full of mystery right now so couldn't be conveyed so readily. I decided a walk in the gardens would probably clear my head; enough to see if any ideas may surface whilst I am walking in the sunshine. As I walked around the gardens I thought about the event coming up in less than three weeks time. What will Caroline go as? Will she like the music I composed specially for the event? Will I be able to find out more about her or will she forever be swathed in mystery? That's when the inspiration hit me; I was feeling the mystery Caroline was swathed in and that was the feeling I wanted to convey in my music. For several hours I sat at my bench and composed and a few hours later I was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Sorry to disturb you sir but dinner is ready for you downstairs. Your father will be joining you this evening." And I followed her downstairs to see my father already seated at the table.

"Ah Erik so glad you could join us. What's that in your hand there?" I then looked down to see the fact I was still holding the binder containing my music for the Halloween event.

"I composed something to be performed at the Halloween event." I replied as I placed it down nearby but far away so nothing would mess it up.

"Do you want me to get it professionally bound for you? I know someone who does a very good job at binding music."

"I'd like that very much father; if it isn't going to cause you too much trouble." I replied as I finished my last mouthful of dinner.

"Anything for you my son; it will be no trouble at all." He replied sincerely and I passed it gently to him. I then watched as he explained to the butler where he will leave it; this will allow the servant to deal with it when they go out and do their morning errands. I then bid my father goodnight before sleeping peacefully that night...


	6. Chapter 5

**And we have another chapter :) You know the drill...I don't own anything from Phantom or any of the songs mentioned in the story :D Thanks for the reviews, favourites and follows :) They make my day :) Thank you especially to Angelofmusic46 for reviewing every chapter :) You make me so happy and it is nice to know my story is loved :) On with the show guys :D**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Five: That Man and Mystery...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~October 1906~**

 **~The night of the Bellerose Halloween Event~**

It was the night of our annual Halloween event and we were all decorating the castle with pumpkins, candles and bats. We also had lots of red and black flowers including roses dotted around the castle in vases and urns. Everyone was bustling around and it made me excited for this evening as I had been working on my costume for several weeks now and it was finally finished; the dress consisted of a red ball gown with layer upon layer of about 100 or so individual red petals. The mask was red with a rose drawn around the eye with the stem travelling down to the bottom of the mask. I had also finally named the piece of music I will perform at the event; I named the piece 'No-One Would Listen'. I did the piece in honour of my mother as I felt she was the only person who truly understood me and would listen to my problems no matter how small. I had even written lyrics for it and I would sing it whilst playing on my violin as I have this knack for memorising notes after playing it just once. As I checked once again to make sure everything was ready and in place there was a knock on the door which I went to answer.

"Hello Madame Giry what brings you here?" I asked jovially as I allowed her to enter my room.

"Please dear call me Antoinette; we are practically family so you can call me by my first name darling. Now let's get you into your costume shall we?" She said gently and I nodded in agreement.

"Why don't you make sure everything is laid out whilst I run a bath for you?" And with that she left the room. About ten minutes later I was informed my bath was ready; I went inside and stripped down before climbing into the bath and ducking under the water for a moment. I then proceeded to use the soap nearby to scrub my body and hair clean then I ducked under to rinse the soap off; once all of the soap was rinsed off I wrapped myself in a large towel and climbed out of the bath after my hair was wrapped in a towel too. I got out of the bathroom to see Antoinette smoothing down my dress that was sitting on the bed.

"Ah my dear you've finished with your bath; was it the right temperature for you?"

"It was lovely; I love the smell of the soap."

"Shall we get your corset and dress on first then I will deal with your hair and make-up."

"Why do I have to wear the corset? It's so uncomfortable and I feel like I can't breathe." I whined.

"I'm sorry but everyone especially the ladies will be horrified if you do not wear one."

"When I become queen of this kingdom that will be the first rule to go." I muttered to myself as I unravelled my hair from its towel. After Antoinette tightened the corset enough to make me look like I am wearing one but still allowing me to breathe she set me down on the chair in front of my armoire.

"Now just stay still whilst I do your hair and make-up darling." She explained and so I sat and waited patiently as she curled my hair before setting a real rose in my hair with the thorns already removed. She then added some simple make-up to accentuate my eyes before placing the mask on my face.

"There my dear you are ready. I'll see to the guests whilst you do any last minute finishing touches to your costume." She said gently and with that she left the room and I selected the jewellery from my armoire to complement my outfit perfectly. Once I was done I put on my shoes and left the room to make my entrance. I reached the doorway that led to the foyer and I heard the butler announce my name to the crowd and so the doors opened and I gracefully glided down the stairs. As I walked down the stairs I noticed everyone was looking at me before they went about their business. I wonder if Prince Erik was going to be at the event tonight; however as I looked around I couldn't see him in sight which saddened me a little. Maybe he was just being fashionably late or he was already here and I couldn't recognise him perhaps. I got myself a drink and proceeded to mingle a little before I performed my song to the guests. I just wished Prince Erik was here to listen to the song because I have a feeling he would enjoy it very much. However after about half an hour or so of mingling I found the crowds getting a bit too much for me and so I snuck off in the direction of the balcony without Antoinette or Nadir noticing I was gone. As I looked out over the moonlit garden my thoughts kept drifting back to Erik and what he was doing right now.

"What is such a beautiful rose like yourself doing out here all alone?" A voice asked teasingly but for some reason it sent shivers down my spine. But who was this mysterious figure that I seemed to fear so?

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Don't you know it is against etiquette to ask who someone is at a masked ball until it is midnight."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to offend you monsieur." I replied nervously and I wrung my hands a little.

"All will be forgiven; if you give me something in return." He said huskily as his hand ran down my cheek before proceeding further down my body causing me to back away a little. But what did this man want from me exactly and why was he touching me so intimately? I mean I don't even know this man but he already makes me feel uncomfortable; oh where were Antoinette and Nadir when I needed them most?

"What is it you want from me?" I asked quietly as I stared down at the floor.

"Oh don't play coy with me; you know exactly what I want really. Now give to me what I so rightfully deserve." He said as he tilted my head up to look him in the eye. I tried to turn my head away and make my escape. However he managed to hold me in place before tilting my head towards his and kissing me on the lips. However I bit him hard on the lips causing him to draw back with a yell of anger.

"You will pay for that bitch!" And I didn't have time to respond as he slapped me hard across the face causing me to fall to the floor. I looked up in horror as he slowly approached me with the intent to harm me clear in his eyes. But before he could get any closer a voice boomed ominously.

"Step away from her!" And I looked up to see a figure standing in the doorway; the figure was in black trousers and a white poet-style shirt with a long red pirate-style coat over the top. The outfit was finished off with a black bandit style mask and a large red hat with a white feather in it. Why did the figure seem so familiar though?

"Why should I monsieur when I am only getting what was my right since birth? Now step aside whilst I sample her many delights." And so I backed away as he turned his attentions back to me again.

"Please don't hurt me." I pleaded tearfully. But before he could get any closer the mysterious figure in red stepped in front of me protectively and wouldn't budge.

"I'll be back my dear and I will get what I want." He said coldly before leaving out of the room whilst barging past people in the process.

"Caroline! We were so worried! You are due on stage in five minutes." And with that I bid goodbye to the mysterious figure and left with Antoinette to get my sheet music and my violin.

 **Erik's POV**

I watched as Caroline walked away with Antoinette and it made me think about the man I saved her from; who was that man and what did he mean when he was getting what was his right since birth? Could he possibly be a member of the De Chagny family? But I don't recall the De Chagny having another son; I have only ever recalled hearing of the father and a son called Philippe. However I also recall the fact that Philippe is already married so who was that man? I then decided to go inside as I was curious about what Caroline was going to do on stage. I got into the room just before the lights dimmed and I saw her walk onto the stage with sheet music and a violin. So she plays the violin; I wonder how talented she is on the instrument.

"Thank you everyone for coming this evening; now for your pleasure and enjoyment I'll be performing a song I composed myself called 'No One Would Listen.' Enjoy." And with that she placed the violin under her chin and started to play. But what she did next surprised me as she opened her mouth and started to sing; as she sang she wove this spell over me that I couldn't describe. It was like her singing had melted the ice that long ago formed over my heart; like she could feel my plight too. But did she truly understand what pain I was going through? She had everything; she was beautiful and talented so why weren't the men flocking around for her hand? And so I watched intently as the ice formed back around my heart. My father had always told me how no woman could love me; I formed the ice over my heart to save myself from the heartache and pain I would experience if I ever fell in love with a woman.

 **Caroline's POV**

As I played and sang I watched out of the corner of my eye the mysterious figure in red; at first he seemed to like the song but near the end he seemed to look so serious. Why did he suddenly look so serious though after showing initial interest in the song? I paid it no heed though as the applause rang out after the last note echoed around the room.

"Thank you for coming tonight and enjoy yourself until midnight when we remove our masks." I said and I left off the stage. As I left the stage I saw the figure in red walk on out of the corner of my eye. What was he doing exactly?

"I'd like to thank our host for inviting me here tonight and in honour of the holiday I would like to perform a song I composed myself called Dark Waltz." And with that he sat in front of the piano and started to play. I then stood there in shock as he opened his mouth to sing; he had the most beautiful voice in the world that would rival the voice of angels and before I could stop myself I started swaying to the music. But as soon as it started it finished which saddened me a little. He then bowed before walking off the stage towards the balcony and so I followed the figure outside as midnight drew near.

"That was beautiful; you have a real talent for music." I said sincerely.

"So do you mademoiselle." He replied as he looked out over the garden and that's when the clock struck midnight. I watched with trepidation as he turned around and looked at me intently with his sky blue eyes that I got lost in. He then gently removed my mask as fireworks lit the sky; I saw his hand towards my cheek out of the corner of my eye but he stopped himself just before he touched me. Why didn't he want to touch me for? Was I that detestable in his eyes or was there something more to his defensiveness than it appeared? I went to touch his mask but he backed away and a pained look graced his features.

"What's wrong; why won't you let me see your face?" I asked quietly.

"If you see my face you will run and scream just like everyone else does. Thank you for inviting me and I hope we see each other again soon in better circumstances." And with that he elegantly glided out of the room. What did he mean when he said that about his face? He looks so handsome and should have lots of women flocking after his hand. I went back inside to see the fact that all of the guests had left and so I turned in for the night after removing my make-up and costume first.

However that night my sleep was disturbed by images of the man who tried to hurt me; but instead of being saved he hurt me as a mysterious black figure with blue eyes watched from afar. I woke up with a scream and I looked around I room to hear no-one coming to my aid. I fumbled around blindly for a moment before managing to light a lamp. Once it was lit I just sat up in bed for a moment wishing the image of the man hurting me would just go away. I then decided a ride outside in the wilderness might clear my head a little and so after getting changed into a suitable riding outfit I snuck out of the door towards the stables. Once I got into the stables I greeted my horse; a light grey mare called Gris whom I have ridden since I was about five so she trusts only me and no-one else to saddle her up. Once she was saddled up I climbed onto her back and rode out with the wind blowing wildly through my hair. For what felt like hours I just rode non-stop until I reached my favourite place to just think and calm myself when I was stressed out or upset about something. As I sat looking out over the meadow watching the sun rise I thought about the man I encountered at the event; who was he and why was he there? Why did I seem so nervous around him and what did he mean when he said he was getting what was his right since birth? How can he have a right to my virtue since birth when I have never met him before? I then sighed angrily to myself as I held my head in my hands; all this thinking intently and the questions running through my head was making my head hurt. But before I could contemplate the questions any further I heard rapid steps coming from hooves coming towards me.

"Caroline there you are! Antoinette is running herself ragged with worry when she saw your bed empty this morning. What are you doing out here this early in the morning?" Nadir asked panicked whilst breathing heavily a little.

"I needed some time to think." I replied stoically as I continued to stare out at the vast expanse of the meadow.

"There's something you're not telling me isn't there? You know you can tell your Uncle Nadir anything don't you?" He said gently and he squeezed my shoulder a little; for some reason that gesture caused me to wince a little as memories of Halloween came back unbidden in my mind.

"I don't want to talk about it." I replied quietly as I stepped back from him a little.

"What happened between you and that man?" He asked and I rolled my eyes a little; how did he know about the encounter between me and that man on the night of Halloween?

"I said I don't want to talk about it." I replied seething and with that I clambered back onto my horse and rode away with Nadir's shouts ringing in my ears. Why did he insist on pressing the issue so much when I made it clear I didn't want to talk about it? But why didn't I want to talk about it? Did it bring back too many memories or was there more to it than that? After several hours of aimlessly riding around I finally decided to return before they probably sent the guards out to retrieve me. I got back to the castle and after putting Gris away in the stables I fed her an apple which is her favourite treat. I then snuck back into the castle hoping I wouldn't get caught by anyone; but that wasn't to be sadly as a stern voice asked.

"And where have you been young lady?! I have been running around the castle for ages trying to find you."

"I went out for a ride." I replied sheepishly.

"I know that much from what Nadir told me; but why were you gone so long sweetheart?" She asked a little gentler this time.

"I had a lot on my mind and needed some time to think and calm down a little."

"You're hiding some details from me aren't you darling. You know you can talk to me about anything don't you?" She said gently and I sighed a little before replying.

"I had a nightmare that scared me a little; I needed to calm down and get rid of the image in my head as it upset me greatly." I replied as I wrung my hands a little; nervous about the judgement I will receive. My father always told me how I should be brave in front of everyone and hide my true feelings as well.

"You know you can talk to me about anything don't you darling. Next time you feel like that just come to my room and talk to me about it; no matter what time of day it is." She said gently and she embraced me gently which I returned gratefully.

"Now why don't you join us for lunch? You must be hungry." And before I could reply my stomach gave an almighty growl and I knew I had to eat something.

"I'd like that." I replied and it made me forget the dream I experienced and look forward to what the rest of the day would bring...


	7. Chapter 6

**I'm on a roll guys :) Another chapter :) You know the drill by now but I don't own anything from Phantom but I do own my own characters :) Thank you for all of the reviews, favourites and follows especially from Angelofmusic46 who has reviewed every chapter :) On with the show guys :D**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Six: And Music, Your Music, it Teases at my Ear...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~December 20** **th** **1906~**

It has been a little under two months since I last saw Caroline at the Halloween event and I have found myself unable to stop thinking about her. But why am I feeling like this about her when I do not like her? However I can't believe it was five days until Christmas; the holiday was always a big event when mother was alive but when she died we seemed to not hold such large events and just spent time with family. However I would find out today that Christmas would be different this year. It was a morning like any other as I found myself once again composing when there was a knock on the door; however instead of finding a maid on the other side there standing in front of me was my father.

"Good morning father. What a surprise to see you this fine morning. What can I do for you?" I asked pleasantly.

"I have some news for you. Princess Caroline Bellerose will be spending Christmas with us this year; I thought it would be a good idea for you to spend some time together and get to know each other better since you appear to have so much in common."

"Do we really have that much in common apart from our love for music?" I asked as I continued to look at the sheet music I was composing before my father came in and interrupted my moment of composing.

"You wouldn't know until you meet her would you; please just give her a chance. I have been friends with the Bellerose family for many years and I think you shouldn't judge her before you have met her properly." He replied seriously and after sighing a little I replied reluctantly.

"Ok I will give her a chance; but it doesn't necessarily mean I like the situation."

"I knew you'd understand my son." He said happily and with that he left the room.

"So when is she coming?" I asked before he could leave the room.

"This afternoon; so I need to get the castle ready for her arrival so she can feel right at home. I know she likes things neat and tidy." And so he left the room whilst I continued to compose my latest song 'Til I Hear You Sing'; but who was I writing this for? As I finished writing the final word in my lyrics I started playing it again just to make sure everything flowed nicely; however I was so engrossed in playing I didn't notice someone come into the room until they said sincerely.

"That was beautiful. What is it called?" And I turned around to see Caroline standing beside me with a penetrating look on her face.

"Ah Mademoiselle how nice to see you again." I said civilly whilst skipping around the question; I then took her hand gently before bestowing a gentle kiss onto it causing a light pink blush to grace her cheeks.

"You didn't answer my question Erik." She said sheepishly as she looked down at her feet awkwardly after taking her hand from my grasp.

"Oh yes, the piece is called 'Til I Hear you Sing'. Would you like to hear the lyrics?" I asked as I primed my fingers for playing the song again.

"I would like that very much." And so after beckoning her to take a seat next to the piano I started playing the opening chords before opening my mouth to sing. As I played and sang I saw out of the corner of my eye Caroline swaying to the music with her eyes closed in rapture and a small smile on her face. Once it was finished she just sat there for a moment before clapping enthusiastically.

"That was beautiful Erik; you really do have a great talent for music. We should do a duet sometime; I'd like that a lot." Why would she want to duet with a monster like me? I mean was it maybe pity she was showing or was it something more than that? For a moment there was an awkward silence and the tension could be cut with a knife; I wasn't really sure what to do since I don't really interact with many people and now I was being forced into a situation where I didn't know what to do with myself. I then watched as Caroline fiddled with her hair and looked around the room nervously; she shouldn't be nervous about anything so why was she behaving like this?

"So what would you like to do?" I asked curiously.

"I'm not sure; although the weather is nice at the moment. Could I see the gardens?" She replied quietly.

"Of course Mademoiselle; allow me to escort you so you don't get lost. It is very easy to lose yourself in the gardens sometimes; especially when you are not familiar with them like I am."

"I'd like that very much Erik." She replied and so I got up from the piano bench before taking her hand gently and led her out of the door. As we walked around the gardens I watched as she went up to each flower and sniffed it gently causing a small smile to grace her lips.

"I take it the garden pleases you princess?" I asked gently as I came up behind her and touched her lightly on the shoulder.

"It does indeed Monsieur. I like the roses the most; I've never seen this one before...did you grow it yourself?" She replied as she sniffed an unusual black rose.

"I did indeed grow that one myself; took a lot of time breeding it but it was well worth the wait. I call it Ange Noir; Black Angel." I replied with pride as I liked the fact she appreciated Horticulture like I do. However suddenly she looked up to the sky worryingly causing my brows to furrow a little in confusion.

"Are you ok? You look worried." I asked gently.

"I'm fine; just thought I heard something for a moment there." She replied as the clouds darkened in the sky; however I thought nothing of it as they didn't look like rain clouds to me. Suddenly there was a rumble of thunder and I saw Caroline drop to the ground with her hands over her ears.

"Caroline are you ok?" I asked gently as I knelt down beside her.

"I'm fine." She replied quietly as another rumble of thunder resounded around the garden and it started to rain heavily.

"Come we need to get inside before you catch a cold." I said gently but she just lay there with whimper escaping her lips. I then unfurled my cape and wrapped it securely around her before picking her up in my arms. As she buried her head into my chest I started to sing the first song that came to mind which happened to be 'Dark Waltz' hoping it would distract her from the thunder as I carried her back towards the castle. Once we got inside I could feel her shivering and so I placed her in front of the fire before proceeding to light it. However before I could get up I felt her hand grip mine tightly.

"It's ok Caroline I'm not going far; I just need to light a fire. You're cold and you could catch a cold or hypothermia or something." I said reassuringly and with that I got up and lit the fire. Once it was lit I grabbed some throws from nearby and put them over her still shivering body. However for some reason I couldn't get her to stop shivering no matter how many throws I put over her. I then decided that my body heat would help warm her up so I asked gently.

"Would you mind if I held you? I know it's deemed improper but my body heat will help warm you up."

"Not at all." She replied with chattering teeth and so I embraced her gently as the fire roared in the fireplace; every so often a whimper would escape her lips as the thunder continued to rumble. I was so engrossed in what I was doing I didn't notice the footsteps approach us from behind.

"What is going on here?" And I turned around to see my father looking down at our embrace with a stern look on his face.

"We were out in the garden when it started to rain and she was shivering. It's not what it looks like." I replied matter of factly as she continued to shiver a little but not as badly as before.

"So if you could kindly retrieve some hot chocolate unless you want her to fall ill before Christmas." I continued and with that he walked quickly out of the room whilst yelling for a maid in the process. He then came back five minutes later with a steaming cup in his hand; I took hold of it and gently passed it to Caroline after blowing on it a little first.

"Here you go, this should warm you up." And so she drank from it a little. Before long the shivering began to subside and I gently let her out of my embrace as the sun came peeking through the windows.

"Feeling better?" I asked gently.

"I am thank you Erik; what do you want to do now?" She replied quietly with a smile.

"I think the first port of call is dinner; then we can do the day with as we please."

"But I'm not hungry." She replied quietly until a loud growl resounded around the room.

"I think your stomach says differently." I replied teasingly and so I led her towards the dining room where the maids were setting out the dishes for tonight's dinner.

"Ah Erik just in time for dinner. I see Caroline is feeling a lot better; I'm sorry I judged you before son. I hope you can forgive me."

"What happened Erik?" Caroline whispered curiously.

"He thought something scandalous was going on." Erik explained quietly.

"Scandalous?" She asked quietly with confusion lacing her tone.

"I'll explain later." I said as we sat down for dinner and I smiled when she nodded in agreement. But why did she seem so innocent and naive about this sort of thing? I thought she would have learnt some etiquette concerning this sort of thing so why does she seem to not know much about it? Didn't her mother talk to her about this sort of thing either? As we ate I watched discreetly as she slowly ate each dish placed in front of her; I guess she was taught the fine etiquette of eating as well. Once we finished our meal we both excused ourselves from the table before we got up from our seats and left the room.

"What would you like to do next?" I asked curiously.

"Do you have a library here? I would like to sit and read quietly a while before I go to bed." She asked curiously.

"We do indeed; here let me show you where it is. I enjoy reading in the evenings too; it's so relaxing." I explained as I led her in the direction of the library. Once we arrived at the library I watched as she slowly perused the books before she finally picked one out.

"What are you reading Caroline?" I asked curiously as I sat down in my favourite chair in front of the fire with a copy of Dracula in my hands.

"I'm going to read all about biology; I found an interesting book all about plants and how they work." She replied as she sat down in a chair opposite and opened her book to start reading. I was surprised at what she picked to read though; I thought she would have picked one of the classic novels I own. However, after I started reading I noticed out of the corner of my eye Caroline not really reading the book she chose.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked curiously as I put my book down.

"What did your father suspect we were doing earlier?" She asked quietly with a blush.

"Ah yes I promised you I would explain after dinner didn't I? My father basically thought we were in a rather compromising position; he thought something was going on that should only happen once you are married."

"But nothing happened of the sort did it?" She asked quietly as she closed her book as well and I shook my head a little with a smile on my face; with that matter settled Caroline went back to reading her book.

"Have you always had an interest in science?" I asked curiously.

"Ever since I was a small girl I've had an interest in how the world works; however my father didn't like me reading but my mother didn't mind so much. It wasn't until Antoinette and Nadir became my guardians that reading was encouraged and I was educated in the ways of science as well as etiquette. I guess there is still a lot for me to learn in terms of etiquette." She replied quietly as she stared out of the window in quiet contemplation. I wonder why Antoinette and Nadir are her guardians. At least now she is allowed to be educated; I think it is sad her father didn't want her reading or be educated in the ways of how the world works. I guess there was more to her than it appeared and I liked this mysterious side of her; I just wish I could find out more about her. But what can I ask without being too personal?

"I can hear you thinking Erik...would you like to tell me what's on your mind?" A kindly voice asked and I looked up to see Caroline looking at me intently.

"You're one mysterious woman; I would like to find out more about you but I am afraid of offending you somehow." I replied as I looked out of the window at the setting sun.

"Fire away monsieur; what would you like to find out about me first?"

"I know you are 17 since you celebrated your birthday three months ago. How come I didn't see your parents at the event?"

"You wouldn't have seen mother and father at the event because they were killed when I was 16 by the De Chagny's. I've been looked after by Antoinette and Nadir who were advisers to my parents until the age of 18 when I will ascend the throne."

"I'm sorry for your loss. Is that why I saw you afraid of that man I saw on the night of your 17th birthday?"

"Yes it was; he is Philippe's father I know that much. I don't know his name though." She replied quietly.

"How come you know about Philippe?" I asked curiously.

"My father knew the De Chagny's; especially their oldest son Philippe. It is sad to think that the relationship between them ended in their death though." She replied sadly and I placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. I was about to ask more questions when I saw her try to suppress a yawn.

"The hour is late; we will talk more tomorrow. But for now you should sleep; you've had a very eventful day."

"But I'm not tired." She replied with a yawn and so after placing the book down for her I led her out of the library towards her room hoping she would have a peaceful night full of wonderful dreams and wonders...


	8. Chapter 7

**Another chapter guys :D As you know I don't own anything from Phantom but I do own my own characters :) Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and favorited and followed my story so far :D Thank you to Angelofmusic46 for reviewing every chapter :) Your reviews make my day and mean so much to me :) On with the show guys :D**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Seven: Conceal, Don't Feel...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~December 25** **th** **1906~**

I woke up to see it snowing outside and I squealed in delight as I piled layers of clothes on before putting on a cloak and running down the stairs and out of the door. I giggled in childish delight as the snowflakes landed on my eyelashes and nose. At one point I held out my tongue to try and catch the snowflakes on my tongue; I use to do this a lot as a child before my father told me I had to conceal my childish tendencies and act more mature.

"Caroline there you are. What are you doing out here in the cold?" A voice asked and I turned around after concealing my feelings to see Erik in front of me.

"I was doing nothing; I was about to come inside. Breakfast should be ready by now shouldn't it?" I replied whilst changing the subject and before he could reply I went inside before taking off my cloak. I then went in the direction of the dining room to see a large feast being spread out on the table.

"Merry Christmas Caroline. I'm so glad you could grace us with your presence."

"Merry Christmas monsieur. Thank you for inviting me to stay here." I replied quietly with a curtsy.

"Please Caroline call me Charles; we are practically family so there's no need for formality."

"But I thought I had to be formal around kings; especially when they are not related to me in anyway." I replied matter of factly.

"I understand you take the rules of etiquette seriously; but I King Charles Destler gives you permission to call me Charles." He replied which caused me to smile a little.

"Thank you Charles for the honour." And with that we all sat down at the table and ate breakfast which consisted of French toast, pastries, fruit, pancakes, cold meats and eggs. Once breakfast was finished the maids came in and cleared the table so we went into the sitting room where the large Christmas tree resided. I could see the large pile of presents in front of me but I went up to it civially without letting the inner child out. Once we sat down around the tree I opened each one carefully until there was a neat pile of paper and presents in front of me. I managed to get to the last present which confused me greatly and so for what felt like ages I just turned it over continuously in my hands trying to gauge who sent it to me.

"You've gone quiet...what's wrong?" A voice asked and I replied quietly.

"I can't tell who gave me this parcel."

"Why don't you open it and you might be able to work it out." Erik said gently. I opened it carefully to see a medium-sized gold medallion inside with an eagle on it causing my eyes to widen in fear as memories I tried to suppress flooded my mind. For a while I was lost to the world around me as images of my parents lying in their blood entered my mind; however a voice somehow managed to break through my stupor.

"Caroline come back to us; he can't harm you but please come back to us." And I shook my head a little to see Erik staring at me intently with his hands on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry I need to be alone." I breathed out and with that I ran out of the room with tears pouring down my cheeks. Once I realised Erik and Charles weren't following me I looked around to find myself in the gardens and so I fell to my knees as the tears continued to fall. Why did they send the gift to me for? Why did the memory continue to haunt me so? I know Erik would be understanding of the situation after I told him what happened to my parents at the hands of that family but why did I tell him in the first place? It was like I trusted him enough to tell him about myself without even thinking of the consequences if I did so. But then I realised if I told him too much the De Chagny's could use it against me and kill me; I mean they must have known I was here in order to deliver the parcel right? But how did they find out I was here? Was there a spy involved and they have been watching my every move the whole time?

"Caroline are you ok?. You should come inside it's freezing out here." A kind voice said and a moment later I felt fabric over my shoulders and I realised Erik placed his cloak over my shoulders. I inhaled the scent and it made me smile a little; it smelt of parchment, candle wax and roses and I liked it as it instantly relaxed me.

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier; I guess the memories got too much for me there." I said quietly.

"That's ok; I understand. Are you ready to go back inside now? I think you need a hot chocolate to warm you up as you have been outside for quite a while." He explained as he helped me off the ground before leading me back inside. Once we got inside he led me to the kitchen where the smell of chocolate hit my nose almost immediately. A moment later I was given a cup of hot chocolate which I sipped gently after blowing on it a little; soon enough I was warmed through and so after putting all of my presents away we went to the music room to compose. The best present I received was from Erik and his father which was a beautiful handmade composition book with a real feather quill and some burgundy coloured ink. We composed for a few hours until we were called in for dinner which consisted of turkey, fish and lamb as well as all of the trimmings; there was even dessert which included the largest Christmas cake I have ever seen decorated with beautiful white icing on the top. Once we finished we sat around the fire and told stories from long ago until I couldn't suppress a yawn any longer.

"Thank you for a wonderful Christmas; I would love to do this next year but I think I will turn in for the night. Good night and see you in the morning." I said sincerely and with that I left the room after they said good night to me in return. After getting out of my corset I breathed a sigh of relief. I hate wearing the garment but I feel it is necessary for keeping up appearances; also I feel like my body isn't totally perfect without one so that's why I wear it. Once I got my nightgown on I bundled under the covers and fell asleep almost immediately.

 _I was wandering the corridors of Erik's castle when I heard a voice from behind and I turned around to see Erik in front of me with outstretched arms and a smile on his face._

" _How is my lovely wife this morning?" He asked and I looked down to see the most beautiful wedding ring gracing my ring finger. But before I could reply I suddenly heard screams of panic and I saw flames engulfing the castle. But when I turned around for help from Erik I saw him being engulfed by the flames. I was then surrounded by laughter from a shadowy figure that caused me to scream in fear._

I woke up still screaming and sweat pouring down my face; why did I have such a strange dream and why was I married to Erik? Suddenly the door burst open and I looked up to see Erik standing in the doorway in his silk pyjamas and his hair still mussed from sleep.

"Are you ok I heard you scream?" He asked gently as he stared at me with concern in his eyes.

"It was nothing; just thought I heard something. I'll be ok." I replied emotionlessly as I concealed my feelings in front of him once again.

"You had a nightmare because of that medallion didn't you?" He asked as he made my way towards the bed.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I replied seriously. However Erik didn't respond but instead he opened his mouth and Dark Waltz started to echo around the room. Before I could stop myself the song wove its spell around me and I felt my eyelids droop and I fell into a deep sleep. The last thing I heard was:

"You are one mysterious woman and I will one day find out everything you hide from everyone. But sleep now; I will always watch over and protect you." And I finally succumbed to sleep once again.

 **~December 26** **th** **1906~**

I woke up to open curtains and I looked out to see snow falling once again and I looked at the time to see I had overslept. I quickly ran out of bed into the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth before proceeding to call in the maid to help me dress.

"Good morning mademoiselle did you sleep well?"

"I did thank you. Could you help me into my corset please?" I replied quickly and so I picked out the corset I wanted to wear which was red and black and covered my bust. As the maid tightened the corset I kept asking her to tighten it more.

"Please mademoiselle you'll hurt yourself if you tighten it too much; anyway you look lovely without the corset."

"No I need to keep up appearances and I need to wear it this tight." I replied cryptically as she finished tying it and I placed my dress on over the top; the dress was a beautiful burgundy with lace detailing on the bell-shaped sleeves and around the neckline which was a Queen Anne neckline. The dress was one of my favourites as it was the first one I created myself and I enjoy wearing it whenever I can. Once I was dressed I walked briskly downstairs to see them setting out the lunch items on the table.

"Did I miss breakfast?" I asked curiously as I saw Erik and Charles come into the room.

"Ah Caroline glad to see you up and about. Yes you did miss breakfast but Erik explained what happened and thought you would appreciate sleeping in a little longer."

"Thank you I appreciate that but I wasn't that tired really." I replied as I sat down in my usual seat beside Charles.

"That's a lovely dress you are wearing. Who is your seamstress?" Erik asked curiously.

"I didn't get this one from a boutique; I made it myself." I replied quietly and I took another mouthful of food.

"You are very talented; is there anything else you have made?"

"I also made the dress for my birthday and Halloween event as well." I replied and Erik's eyes widened in surprise.

"You made those; I have never seen anything like them before. You really are talented. You should maybe make dresses for people." He said sincerely.

"Thank you for the complement monsieur but I do it as a hobby rather than a career choice." I replied meekly and I put my cutlery down to signal the fact I had finished my meal.

"That's a shame because I bet there will be a lot of people out there who would like your work." He said quietly and I smiled at his complement. Once we all finished our meal for Boxing Day Erik asked me gently.

"Would you like to go horse riding around the grounds?"

"I would like that very much." I replied and so after donning our riding gear we went in the direction of the stables. Once we arrived at the stables I watched as Erik went up to a black stallion who immediately greeted him by nuzzling his hand.

"What is he doing?" I asked curiously.

"He's looking for his favourite treat which is sugar cubes." He replied matter of factly as he opened up his hand to feed him the sugar cubes residing inside. Once he finished feeding the stallion his treat he saddled him up before clambering onto his back.

"What's his name?" I asked curiously from the doorway.

"His name is Caesar; don't be shy he won't bite." Erik said gently and so I went up slowly to him and held out my hand for him to sniff; I giggled a little when he nuzzled my hand a little.

"Would you like to ride him?" Erik suddenly asked and I looked up at him with furrowed brows.

"I've never really rode a stallion before; what happens if he bucks me off or something?" I replied nervously as Caesar continued to nuzzle my hand.

"Don't worry; I personally trained him when he was a youngster. He trusts me and I will make sure he doesn't hurt you in anyway." He replied soothingly and so I took his outstretched hand as he helped me climb onto Caesar's back by sitting me in front of him. I blushed a little as he protectively wrapped his arm around my waist. What was this feeling I was experiencing? Why was I blushing when he touched me like that? Could this possibly be love? I shook my head mentally a little when that thought came into the forefront of my mind; I couldn't possibly love him. Why would I love him when I have only met him on a handful of occasions? A person can't possibly fall in love so fast can they? But I always said to myself no-one could possibly love me and that's why I always conceal my feelings in front of people as I don't want to get too close; last time I was close to someone I lost them and never got over their death. When you get close to someone; certain people can use that fact against you and so they can hurt you. As we rode the grounds I felt something I haven't felt in a long time; I felt so free and happy for a change.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" A voice asked breaking me out of my stupor and for the emotionless mask to come back on my face again.

"It is nice, thank you." I replied civilly to which Erik didn't respond in reply; well what more did he want me to say? How would he have responded to my reply anyway? After a few hours of riding we made our way back to the castle and noticed a maid coming towards us quickly.

"There you are sir! Your father was worried when you were gone for so long. Dinner is set out on the table for you."

"Thank you Hélène. I'll be right down once we change out of our riding clothes." He informed her and with that he led me upstairs where we split off in separate directions. Once I got changed into a comfortable dress I went downstairs for Boxing Day dinner which consisted of roast lamb with potatoes and vegetables; surprisingly it was a simple meal but I liked that as I felt like I ate so much food yesterday. I got to the table to see Charles sitting there perusing some papers.

"I thought you weren't working today." I said quietly but he still heard me as he looked up at me.

"I'm afraid when you are king you never really have a day-off." He replied matter of factly as I sat down in my usual seat just as Erik came into the room.

"Ah Erik so glad you could join us; did you enjoy your ride Erik?"

"I did very much thank you." Erik replied sincerely and he sat down in his usual seat opposite me. As we sat and talked I noticed Charles would look down at his papers every so often; what was on them and why wouldn't he let me see them? Didn't he trust me with the information enough? Once we finished I found myself tired for some reason and so after excusing myself I went up my room to change into my nightgown. However I couldn't bring myself to sleep right now; why was I feeling like this? I then realised I was to leave tomorrow. But why was I feeling sad about this fact? I mean I like spending time with Erik and Charles but we are just friends aren't we? So why do I feel there is something more to the feelings I am experiencing? I then decided to read a book to help relax me and to distract me from my thoughts. Once I got to the library I picked out a random book and sat down in my usual chair in front of the fire. Before I could stop myself I found myself falling asleep in the chair as my eyes began to feel heavy...


	9. Chapter 8

**Another chapter :) Yay I'm on a roll :) Thank you for all of the reviews, follows and favourites :) They mean a lot to me :) As you know I don't own anything Phantom-related but I do own my own characters :) So on with the show :D**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Eight: I Don't Want To Go...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~December 27** **th** **1906~**

It was the day Caroline was to leave the castle to go back home with Antoinette and Nadir; they were to arrive at precisely 10:01 in the morning. But why would they be so specific with the time of arrival? Was it another quirk of the princess or was I just overanalysing the situation? Just as I finished changing for the day there was an urgent knocking at my door. I answered it and I saw a maid standing on the other side of the threshold.

"What is wrong Hélène?" I asked curiously when I saw her breathing heavily a little; a look of panic could be seen in her delicate features.

"I can't find the princess anywhere. She wasn't in her room when I went to get her ready this morning. Do you think she knows what is to happen today and has hidden herself somewhere in the castle?" She replied quickly.

"That's a possibility. You go about your chores; I have a feeling I know where she is." And with a curtsy she left the room. I then left the room and first of all went to the stables to see my stable boy in sight.

"Have you seen Caroline at all Stefan?" I asked curiously as I watched him groom Caesar.

"I haven't I'm afraid Monsieur." He replied and after thanking him for his work and his help I went back inside towards the library as that was the only other place I could think of where she will be hiding. I knocked lightly and when I heard no response I slowly opened the door to see her sleeping peacefully in the chair with an open book in her hand. I went in and gently took the book from her before putting it back on the shelf; I then went over and gently touched her on the shoulder whilst calling her name.

"Caroline it's time to wake up; Antoinette and Nadir will be here in a couple of hours." And I watched as her eyelashes fluttered open a little.

"Where am I?" She asked sleepily as she rubbed her eyes a little.

"You're in the library; were you hiding from the fact you were to leave today?" I asked curiously.

"I was sad about leaving today as I don't want to go. However nothing I say is going to change that; so there is no point hiding because you will find me as you have already proven today." She replied quietly with a slight blush gracing her cheeks.

"I am flattered you don't want to leave but you have to. We'll see each other again soon mademoiselle."

"I better get changed then before Antoinette and Nadir arrive." She said meekly and with that she went in the direction of her room. I decided to make sure she had the best breakfast we could offer on her last day here. I then smiled when she came into the room wearing a simple green dress with a modest neckline and long bell-shaped sleeves.

"Ah I am glad you're here; breakfast is ready for you on the table." I explained as I gestured her to her seat before sitting down next to her.

"Where is your father this morning?" She asked curiously.

"He's taking care of some royal duties this morning; that's all I know though." I replied as I helped myself to some eggs and toast. We sat in contemplative silence and I watched as Caroline stared down at her plate with something akin to sadness in her eyes.

"Is the dress another one of your creations?" I asked curiously to try and distract her from the impending separation she seemed to be disliking so much.

"I did indeed Monsieur." She replied quietly; but why was she so formal all of a sudden? Before she was calling me by my name but now she was being so formal in front of me. Before I could comprehend the situation a maid came into the room.

"Monsieur Erik just to inform you Antoinette and Nadir are here to collect the princess." And I looked at my watch to see it was 10:01.

"Let me see you to the front door Mademoiselle." I said evenly and so after helping her up from her seat I led her to the front door. Once we got to the front door she ran to Antoinette and Nadir and gave them a big hug.

"I am so glad to see you; I missed you so much. Do I have to leave though?" She asked pleadingly.

"I'm afraid you have to dear; you have etiquette to learn and a party to plan for." Nadir explained matter of factly.

"Can I invite Erik to the party?" I heard her ask quietly.

"Of course you can dear; I am surprised you haven't done so already." Antoinette said happily.

"Erik; you are cordially invited to our New Year's Eve celebration. There is a masquerade theme." She said and I replied.

"I'd love to attend; I'll see you New Year's Eve then." And after bidding her goodbye I went to my music room to see if any ideas would come up for a song to perform at the party. What would I perform at the party though? I then decided to try and think of something a little more happy and upbeat compared to the more sombre songs that I usually compose. However no ideas were coming to me as all I could think about was the fact I was missing Caroline; but why was I missing her so much? I mean I have never missed anyone before so why is this mysterious woman any different? I shook my head a little to clear my thoughts as I went to bed that night with thoughts of Caroline running through my head.

 **~December 28** **th** **1906~**

It was early morning and I ran to my music room as notes for the New Year's Eve song ran through my head. As I played the notes on the piano I would write them down every so often as well as cross out some notes out too. Once I finished writing down all of the notes I replayed it and I knew this was the song I was to perform. However I still felt the song needed lyrics; but what would these lyrics be? But before I could think of any words for the lyrics there was a knock on the door.

"Enter!" I shouted angrily as I slammed down on the piano causing discordant notes to escape its keys.

"Haven't you been told about interrupting me when I am composing?!" I yelled angrily without looking the person in the eye.

"Don't you like seeing an old friend?" They asked teasingly and I recognised the voice as Nadir's.

"It depends who that old friend is." I replied sarcastically and I turned around to confirm my suspicions.

"Ah Nadir what brings you to my humble abode?" I asked with false politeness.

"I noticed you were invited to the New Year's Eve party; but there is something you are not telling me isn't there?"

"I don't know what you are talking about Nadir." As I turned my attention back to my music.

"Now I might be mistaken but am I led to believe you are developing feelings for her?" He said quietly and I turned around angrily; how dare he make such an audacious assumption about me? He knows no woman would ever love me and that I would never open my heart to any woman after every princess who has ever seen me ran away in fear.

"Now you're just being really quite silly Nadir; whatever gave you that idea?" I asked seriously and Nadir just looked at me without saying anything in reply.

"Now unless you can prove useful and help me with lyrics will you leave me to my thoughts." I continued stoically and I heard the door close behind me as I started playing the notes once again hoping it would inspire me. After several hours composing I wrote the name at the top of the page and signed it with my signature before looking at my pocket watch. I was surprised about the fact that so much time had passed since Nadir had visited and left me to compose. But what he said still haunted my thoughts as I attempted to compose; could it be true? Could I really be falling for this mysterious and talented woman? I shook my head a little when these thoughts invaded my mind; I couldn't fall for someone so fast could I. I then decided to try and distract myself from thoughts of Caroline by designing my costume for the New Year's Eve ball as it had a masquerade theme; but what would I wear? I couldn't come in the same costume as last time and so I had to think up of a completely new costume for this event. I decided to look for inspiration by looking at my library to see if any of the books I owned inspired me to design the perfect costume. However after hours of looking I couldn't find a single book that inspired me and that's when my thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Hello monsieur dinner is ready downstairs." And I looked at my watch to see the fact that it was in fact dinner time; how did I manage to miss lunch? I guess when I am composing I tend to lose track of time sometimes. As I entered the room I heard a voice say.

"I see you missed lunch; composing again were you?" And I nodded in agreement as I set myself down in my usual seat before dishing up some of the food onto my plate.

"Did your hours of composing prove productive?" My father asked before taking a mouthful of food.

"It did indeed; I have a song ready to be performed at the New Year's Eve party I have been invited to."

"Where is this party taking place?" He asked curiously.

"At the castle of Princess Bellerose; she invited me when she was leaving with Antoinette and Nadir."

"I'm glad you got on well with her over Christmas; maybe we should invite her over again next year."

"Yes maybe we should." I said quietly as I looked down at my plate; would I really like to invite her over though or am I just saying it to appease my father? Once finished I went back to my library to try and find inspiration once again for the costume I was designing. I then picked up a copy of Edgar Allen Poe's The Masque of Red Death and decided that would be the costume I would recreate for the event. I looked in my fabric arsenal for the red fabric I purchased for my previous costume and used it to create a floor length cape as well as a pair of trousers. However I decided to use the jacket and hat from the previous costume so I wouldn't need to make another one. But before I went about cutting out the pieces I looked at my watch to realise it was rather late and so I decided to turn in for the night...


	10. Chapter 9

**Another chapter guys :) You know the drill :) I don't own anything from Phantom but I do own my own character :) Thanks for the reviews, favourites and follows on my story it means a lot :) On with the show :D**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Nine: Hide Your Face So the World Will Never Find You...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~December 31** **st** **1906~**

It was the day of the New Year's Eve ball and I found myself nervous as Antoinette helped me into my costume; this time I decided to come as a phoenix. The dress consisted of reds, oranges and yellows in layers all mingled together to represent flames like when the phoenix dies in a ball of flames to be reborn from the ashes. I wonder what Erik will come as this time though; I know he will make a new costume but I can't wait to find out what he will come as.

"Stop fidgeting dear; I can tell you want to pace. Why are you so nervous for?" Antoinette asked as she held me by the shoulders for the umpteenth time.

"I don't know why I am so nervous though but I just am." I replied as I tapped my foot nervously.

"Are you nervous about seeing Erik again dear?" She queried as she put my hair up into an elegant up do with a red rose clipped in to embellish it a little.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" I asked curiously and I turned around to look at her as I knew she had finished dealing with my hair.

"I have a feeling there is something you're not telling me that happened between you and Erik. There is something isn't there?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." And so I got up from my seat before smoothing down my dress a little and leaving out of the door to greet the guests even though I really didn't want to. After greeting the guests I stood in my usual corner with a drink in my hand and I watched the guests mingling with each other; but why didn't I mingle with them myself? Considering I am the host and a member of royalty I really should be mingling but I can never bring myself to do it. But why can I never mingle with guests like my parents could? I guess this is why my father never loved me because I wasn't the kind of person he wanted me to be.

"What is a beautiful fiery woman such as yourself doing standing in the corner?" A mysterious voice asked and I turned around in shock to see a man in front of me dressed in a blue naval officer uniform and a black mask that covered most of his face. But instead of responding to his question I stood there in shock as memories of Halloween night came unbidden in my mind once again.

"I see you have recognised me my ravishing rose and I will get what I deserve by birthright." He said coldly as he grabbed me tightly around the waist before dragging me out onto the balcony nearby.

"Let me go or I will scream!" I yelled angrily as I tried to struggle out of his grasp. I kicked out suddenly when I felt his hand wander down my body and under my skirts; I then proceeded to start screaming hoping someone would hear. However there was no-one around and the party inside was too noisy for anyone to hear me scream.

"I see your mysterious saviour isn't here to save you and I will get what I deserve." He said coldly as he proceeded to push my underwear to one side.

"What was that you were saying about me boy?" And I looked up to see a figure in red standing ominously in the doorway of the balcony.

"This matter is none of your concern monsieur; now leave me alone with this ravishing flower." As he once again proceeded to stick his hand up my skirt.

"Let go of her boy or I will be forced to do that for you." He commanded as he pointed his sword towards us.

"I won't let her go! I am getting what I deserve and no-one will stand in my way!" However before he could proceed any further he dropped me with a yell of pain and I saw him holding his bleeding arm.

"Now let it be war upon you both!" He whispered seething and he ran out of the room.

"Are you ok Caroline? I wish I got here sooner before he was able to touch you so intimately."

"I'm ok; he didn't harm me at all." I replied stoically as I got up from the floor before smoothing down my dress.

"You don't need to hide anything from me; I will not judge you and I will always be here to protect you no matter what." But before I could reply I saw Antoinette and Nadir coming towards me with worried looks on their faces.

"Oh Caroline we are so glad you are ok." They said simultaneously but I just looked at them emotionlessly without replying.

"Why don't you come inside? Erik is about to perform." And I looked at the figure in red in surprise.

"You've composed something? What is it you have composed?" I asked curiously.

"You'll have to wait and see." And with that he mysteriously left the room towards the stage and so I followed close behind as I wanted to see what song he was performing this time. I watched with a small smile as he sat himself down in front of the piano before he turned towards everyone and said.

"I'd like to thank our host for inviting me here this evening and I would like to dedicate this song to her; I call this piece 'Masquerade'." And he then started the most beautiful and cheerful melody before opening his mouth to proceed to sing. As I stood and listened I felt something in me that I couldn't explain; but what was this feeling surging within me? I just couldn't believe someone like Erik would compose a melody and dedicate it to me; I just never thought I would have the honour of that happening to me at all. I then mentally shook my head when I realised the nature of the thoughts coming into my head. I mean how could someone as wonderful as Erik possibly love a person like me? And so with the thoughts out of my mind I allowed the feelings to be once again concealed and I watched with an emotionless facade on my face. When the song was finished he bowed a little before leaving the stage and leaving out of the balcony to which I followed him close behind.

"Thank you for saving me earlier; I just wish I could be stronger and defend myself. Also the song was beautiful; but why would you dedicate this song to me?" I said quietly as I looked down at my feet nervously.

"I wrote this song for you because although you may be able to hide behind an emotionless facade it doesn't fool me; I can also can tell when someone is hiding behind a mask and trying to be the person the world wants them to be." He replied as he tilted my chin up so I could look him in the eye; all I could see in his deep blue eyes was sincerity and truth. But I swear there was another feeling in his eyes that I could see; however I mentally shook my head when I realised I was once again imagining things and that he couldn't possibly love me.

"I better get inside; it's almost midnight and Antoinette will probably be wondering where I am." I said quietly and I made my way inside; but before I could get inside I felt a hand wrap itself gently around my wrist. I looked down at the gloved hand without looking its owner in the eye as for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do so.

"I don't think Antoinette will be worried about your safety right now; she knows you will be safe here with me." He said reassuringly and he touched my cheek gently causing me to look up at him in confusion. The clock struck midnight and once again he took my mask off as fireworks lit the sky causing me to flinch a little.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have been so forward." He said quietly as he passed my mask back to me.

"You weren't being forward at all; the fireworks just made me jump that's all. I don't know why every celebration has to include fireworks; I find them too noisy for my liking." I replied quietly and once again I flinched as another firework exploded nearby.

"I see you don't like loud sudden noises." He said gently as he stroked my arm a little which distracted me from the loud noises around me.

"Why won't you let me take off your mask?" I asked curiously as I changed the subject to not be so focused on me.

"You will run and scream from me if you do." He replied cryptically once again.

"That's what you said last time; but how will you know what I do unless you let me see your face?" I said as I took hold of his gloved hand gently.

"You don't know what you're asking of me." He replied seething and he walked towards the door back into the room where the party was dying down. I ran in after him but when I got into the room he was nowhere to be seen; how could he disappear that fast though? It was like he was a phantom of sorts and it saddened me a little that he disappeared without even saying goodbye. But why was I so sad about him leaving? I mean I would see him again right? What events were coming up that I would invite him to? But when no events came to mind I realised I wouldn't see him again as I struck a nerve somehow. But did I truly love him to begin with and did he even have feelings for me at all? I shook my head a little when I realised I was about to reveal my true feelings and that I was over thinking the situation again. I fell asleep with images of a masked man attempting to rape me whilst everyone looked on stoically rather than helping me.

 **~January 1** **st** **1907~**

That morning I woke up with a scream as the image of the masked man still haunted me and so I fumbled to light the lamp to try and get rid of the images from my mind. However they still haunted me so after getting into my favourite simple dress and cloak I decided to take a walk around the gardens to calm my nerves a little; at least I probably won't panic Nadir so much when I go missing. As I walked around the gardens once again my mind was invaded by thoughts of Erik; did he have feelings for me? Does he treat me as a friend? Or am I over thinking the situation? Why was I finding it so difficult to know what is going on with my heart? I soon enough found myself at the lake and so I sat myself down as the sun started to rise and there were two swans swimming together on the surface of the lake. Seeing the swans made me think about the fact I wanted to find that special someone in my life but know I wouldn't find them. However my musings were interrupted by a voice exclaiming.

"There you are Caroline! Prince Erik will be here any moment and you need to look presentable." And I looked up to see Nadir running towards me looking a little panicked and out of breath.

"Why wasn't I informed about this? You know I like to be informed in advance about everything that is going on each and every day." I explained matter of factly as I got up from the ground before wiping myself down a little.

"Sorry princess it won't happen again. Let's see why this visit has occurred shall we?" And with that I followed him inside to see Erik standing in the foyer.

"Ah Erik what a pleasure it is to see you again. What brings you to our humble abode?" Nadir asked as he shook his hand firmly.

"I was wondering if you would like to go on a ride with me into the woods near my castle."

"I'd like that. Let me just change into my riding outfit." I replied quietly and so I quickly went upstairs to get on my riding dress and boots. Once I got downstairs I went to the stables to saddle up Gris as she only trusts me and no-one else. Once Gris was saddled up I mounted her and rode out in the direction of where Erik was sitting on Caesar.

"Shall we go?" He asked. I nodded in agreement and so we rode towards his castle where we would then ride out into the woods. As we rode there was a tension in the air that you could cut with a knife.

"Is there something you are not telling me?" He asked suddenly and I looked at him with furrowed brows.

"What do you mean? I am not hiding anything at all." I replied quietly.

"You can't fool me. Why do you always conceal your feelings around everyone and why were you so emotionless during my song?" At first I didn't reply as I looked across the vast woodland wistfully. But with a reluctant sigh I replied wistfully.

"I always conceal my feelings because my father always expected me to be strong. I also didn't want to argue with him just because I did something that was impolite or unconventional. I was emotionless during the song because I didn't understand why you would dedicate a song to me; I just feel like I don't deserve that to happen to me at all."

"You don't need to hide anything from me and you deserve hundreds of melodies being dedicated to you; you are my muse and inspiration for every song I have written since I met you." He replied passionately and I just looked at him in shock. Did he really just confess his feelings to me or did he just say the same thing every composer says; that a certain person is their muse and inspires them to write music for that person. But before I could reply I thought I heard a rustling coming from behind and I looked around nervously. I then noticed Gris stamping her hooves a little which she normally does when she is nervous.

"It's ok there's nothing to worry about." I cooed gently as I stroked her mane a little.

"That's where you're wrong princess!" A voice yelled ominously as I looked around trying to find where the voice was coming from but seeing no-one in sight...


	11. Chapter 10

**Hi guys another chapter :) Sorry if it is so short but it was at a good place to stop and also I didn't want too much filler going on in this story :/ I own my own characters but none from Phantom :) On with the show :D Thanks for all of the reviews, follows and favourites from everyone :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Ten: Do Not Shun Me...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~January 1** **st** **1907~**

I noticed Caroline looking around nervously as the voice echoed around the woodland; but where was the voice coming from? But before I could even start looking a gunshot pierced the air and I saw Caroline's horse rear up in the air; she tried holding on for dear life but the horse managed to buck her off and she fell to the ground heavily. I jumped off of Caesar and ran to her prone body in the hopes she was just unconscious; luckily there was a faint pulse but there was a head wound at the back of her head when she struck the ground. I didn't have a chance to pick her up as a voice said commandingly.

"You will hand her over to me and I will not be forced to hurt anyone! And you should hand her over to me as it is my birthright to marry her!" I stepped in front of her protectively and replied coldly.

"I would never hand her over to a monster like you!"

"How dare you refuse a De Chagny!? My family always gets what they want and I will have her hand in marriage by the time I've finished with you!" He yelled angrily and I saw a young man in his early twenties with blonde hair and blue eyes poising a revolver at me.

"You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man would you?" I asked sarcastically as I fingered the length of rope hidden inside my cloak.

"For her I would do anything." And before he could even pull the trigger I threw the rope towards the gun and pulled it out of his grasp before poising it towards him.

"You will leave now or I will not hesitate to end your life." I demanded coldly and with an angry scowl he ran off into the trees. I put away the rope and revolver then proceeded to lift Caroline up in my arms before clambering back onto Caesar's back. As I rode back towards my castle I held onto her the entire way and worried about her lack of response to me. Would she ever wake up? Will there be any lasting side effects from her ordeal? I burst in through the doors and shouted for Hélène to call a doctor. I saw her leave out of the door in her cloak and I laid Caroline down in the sitting room hoping she would wake up soon. I heard the doctor approach and so I stood to one side.

"What happened?" The doctor asked as he laid out his equipment nearby.

"She was bucked off her horse and landed hard on the ground; she hasn't woken yet."

"I see a head wound at the back of her head which I'll stitch up now." But before he could even touch her she suddenly sat up with a scream.

"What happened?! Where am I?! Where's Gris?!" She said quickly before holding a hand to her head.

"You need to rest; you have a head wound that needs treating." I explained gently as I pushed her gently back down so she was lying down on the sofa.

"I see she appears to have no lasting effects although once the wound is treated she should rest for a few days." He explained as he prepared his tools to stitch it up.

"I warn you this will hurt a little; I can give you something for the pain though."

"I'll be fine without it, thank you." She replied quietly and so he proceeded to stitch it up quickly; surprisingly she didn't flinch once whilst he did this. How could she be that immune to pain though? I know her father always wanted her to be strong but did that include being immune to pain too? Was she not allowed to show pain in front of her father? Once the doctor was done with the head wound he packed up his equipment and left the room. I saw her went to get up but I stopped her before explaining gently.

"You are not going anywhere until you have properly rested; you have a head wound and you need time to heal. Now you will stay here for a week until you have had enough rest. I'll inform Nadir and Antoinette of your whereabouts and the situation."

"But I can't stay here; I have tuition and duties to perform. I can't afford to miss anything." She said panicked as she once again tried getting up from her seat before I stopped her from doing so.

"You can afford to miss tuition until you are better; you can't learn anything after a head injury." I explained matter of factly. And with that she finally sat back down with a small pout and crossing her arms over her chest causing a laugh to escape my lips unintentionally. I then coughed a little to try and cover my mistake; why did I laugh though? I always hid my emotions and now I seem to be happy and laughing at the littlest things; was this woman starting to melt the ice around my heart?

"Would you like something to eat or a book perhaps?" I asked and she replied quietly.

"I am a little hungry actually." And so I asked Hélène to bring in some soup and bread for her as I think she was hiding how hungry she really was. But why does she eat so little? Was her father really that bad when it came to her appearance or was this her own doing to try and be perfect for her father? The maid came back ten minutes later with a steaming bowl of soup and a hunk of bread on the side.

"This is too much; I could never eat all this." She said quietly.

"You need plenty of energy to heal and I am not sure when you ate last." I explained and so she proceeded to start eating the meal in front of her. But after eating around a quarter of it she pushed it away from her to signal she had finished.

"Are you sure you have had enough?" I asked curiously as I really wanted her to eat more of the meal.

"I have, thank you." She replied quietly and so with a reluctant sigh I asked Hélène to take the tray back into the kitchen as I knew I wouldn't be able to force her to eat anymore.

"Would you like something to read?" I asked curiously and she nodded in reply.

"Is there anything in particular you would like to read?" I continued.

"Do you have anything about the human anatomy at all?" She asked and so I went in search of the perfect book for her to peruse; I am surprised at her choice though. I thought she would have picked one of the classics; however she always leaves me asking more questions about her personality and why she behaves the way she does. I soon enough found a book and so I went back to the sitting room where she was still residing on the sofa drinking a glass of water. I then left her to read it whilst I went to my music room to compose hoping to extract the melody teasing the edge of my mind. However for the next half an hour or more the melody just wouldn't come to me and I slammed down on the keys in frustration.

"Suffering from writer's block are we?" A voice asked curiously and I turned around to see Caroline in the doorway with the book I gave her under her arm.

"What are you doing here you're supposed to be resting?" I said quickly as I made a move towards her to lead her back to a chair.

"I'm fine I'm not some invalid that needs taking care of." She said exasperatedly as she held a hand in front of her to stop me from coming any closer.

"Please you need to rest; I don't want you overexerting yourself." I explained gently.

"You're sounding like my father; I am not some delicate person who needs taking care of. My father always made sure I had guards with me everywhere I went and that use to annoy me so much." She replied angrily. Why had she got so defensive all of a sudden? Why doesn't she like to be protected by anyone? Could it be because her father wanted her to be strong? Did he perhaps know about the threat against her life? Is that why he was so protective of her too?

"Did you think he did that because he loved you? Or maybe he knew something you didn't."

"What do you mean exactly?" She asked curiously.

"When did he start being so protective over you or was he always this protective?" And I watched as she thought intently for a moment before replying slowly.

"Now you ask; he wasn't always this protective. He started being this protective about half a month before they died; do you think he knew about the threat from the De Chagny's at all?"

"It's a possibility; but know this...he only did it because he loved you." I said gently and I took hold of her hands gently in mine as I looked intently in her eyes.

"Then you don't know me at all really; all my life I have had one unanswered question that can never be answered. Why did my father never love me and why was I born this way? I use to keep wishing my question could be answered one day but I know that day will never come." She replied sadly as she pulled her hands out of mine. She then left the room without a word which saddened me a little. However I decided not to push the matter any further as I knew I wasn't going to get anymore answers out of her for today. I just hope over time she will stop shunning me and start to trust me; and maybe in time she will come to share the feelings I have for her...


	12. Chapter 11

**Another chapter :) I don't own Phantom at all :) Just to let you know I have decided to skip ahead of time a bit so the filler chapters are not like documenting every single day of Caroline's life otherwise I might bore you guys a bit :) So yeah...sorry also if the chapter is short but you know the drill :) If it's a good place to stop then it's a good place to stop :) Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favourites :) On with the show guys :D**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Eleven: Who is the Monster and Who is the Man?**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~February 14** **th** **1907~**

It had been about two weeks since I received the head wound and recovered under the care of Prince Erik. Whilst staying at his castle he made sure I was well fed, entertained and didn't overexert myself during my stay there. As I got ready for the day I was confused as to what day it was and so I looked at my calendar curiously. I then realised it was Valentine's Day; a day I never looked forward to due to the fact I will never find that special someone in my life. Also I usually get hundreds upon hundreds of proposals from members of royalty who I know to be shallow and will abandon me the moment they find out my quirks. Once I had washed and dressed for the day I went downstairs for breakfast hoping there will be no letters waiting for me; however that wasn't to be as a tray full of letters waited for me on the table. As I ate my toast I read through each and every letter on the tray which probably amounted to around about twenty-five to fifty of them. After getting half way through them however I rolled my eyes at the claims they were making to try and win my hand.

"Anything interesting Caroline?" Nadir asked teasingly and I looked at him with a frown.

"No, just the usual false words hoping to win my hand. Why do men think me that shallow or stupid?" I replied exasperatedly.

"I don't think that is their intention at all. They probably just want to be seen with a beautiful woman on their arm who will obey their every whim and nothing more." But before I could reply there was a knock at the door and so I went to answer it. However when I reached the door there was no-one around but there was a note and a red rose on the doorstep. Who could have left the note though? I proceeded to sniff the rose a little causing a small smile to grace my lips and my eyes to close in rapture. However I was broken out of my reverie by a voice asking gently.

"What have you got there?"

"A note and a red rose; but I don't know who it's from." And so I decided to open the note to read its contents; it read:

 _Dear Princess Caroline,_

 _I hope this note and rose finds you well. Happy Valentine's Day and may you always inspire my music of the night._

 _May our paths cross once again and Amor Numquam Moritur._

 _Your Angel of Music._

But who would write such a short and sweet note? And why would they call themselves the Angel of Music?

"Are you able to tell who this could possibly be from?" I asked Nadir curiously as I passed the note to him. I watched as he read it quickly before a strange look overcame his features; it was hard to describe but it was like a mixture of confusion and expressiveness before shaking his head and passing the note back to me. Why did I have this feeling he was hiding something from me? However I decided not to broach the subject any further and so I went to find a vase to place the rose in. Once the rose was in a vase I decided to take it up to my room so I could look at it every morning and smile. As I stared at the rose the clock struck the hour and I looked at the clock to realise the fact the tutor would be here any moment and so I ran to the library hoping I would beat them there. However that wasn't to be as a voice said disapprovingly.

"A princess is never late and they never run. When are you going to learn these rules? You will never get yourself a husband if you don't follow the rules like a good wife should." And I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes at him as I knew he would reprimand me for that too.

"Well today we will be learning about coronation and how to be queen alongside your husband." And I had to suppress an exasperated sigh when he said that. I know I explained to him about the fact I wouldn't need a king; however he is so medieval in his opinions that they couldn't be changed no matter what I say.

After two hours of learning whilst trying hard not to get distracted by thoughts of the mysterious note I was free to do with my day as I pleased. After saddling up Gris; she returned as I had trained her to return home without aid of a rider when they are in danger, I took her for a ride around the kingdom. As I rode I enjoyed the feeling of freedom I felt; it also gave me time to think about the note I was sent. Why did Nadir hide the fact he knew who sent me the note? Actually ever since I hid away from the world Nadir and Antoinette have been hiding a lot from me and I really hate that. Do they still view me as a child who needs protecting from the outside world? Or do they just want to spare my feelings for some reason? However I was broken out of my reverie by a sudden noise; that's when I realised the fact I was in unfamiliar surroundings and Gris was getting restless.

"It's ok girl; there's nothing to worry about. We're just in a different area of the kingdom that's all." I whispered soothingly and I stroked her mane a little; however she still seemed to be nervous and no amount of comforting seemed to change that. I looked around warily as Gris became more and more restless.

"Maybe we should turn back." I thought to myself. However, before I could go back the way I came I heard a voice say behind me causing shivers to run down my spine.

"You will come with me and that is not a request!"

"It's you." I whispered without even turning around.

"How can you recognise me without even looking at me?"

"I remember your voice." I replied quietly as I turned around to see a young man in his early twenties with blonde hair standing in front of me.

"I guess your memory is another quirk we will have to sort out; but there are many ways I can change your quirks for the benefit of my kingdom."

"What do you mean by that exactly?"I asked as I prepared myself to run when I had the chance.

"You will find out in time. However, I want you to come quietly and I won't be forced to hurt you." He commanded coldly. However with a flick of the reins Gris went off into a gallop towards the man forcing him to jump out of the way and allowing me to escape. However I pulled on the reins hard when I saw a group of men in front of me with revolvers poised towards me.

"You will listen to our master by coming quietly or we will be forced to shoot."

"You will not harm her! As your master I command you not to kill her under any circumstances." The blonde man yelled coldly and so I stayed put sat on my horse trying to plan out my next move.

"Now I won't ask you again and you will come quietly or I will have to use force; and you should come with me because it is my birthright for us to be together."

"And don't you know the lady wants nothing to do with you?" A voice said coldly and I turned around to see Erik riding on Caesar; his cloak billowing ominously behind him making him look like a large black bird.

"Now step away from her!" Erik demanded as he jumped down off of Caesar's back before standing protectively in front of me.

"I will not leave her alone until she is mine and mine alone! And I will not lose her to a masked freak like you!" What did he mean by that? Why would the man lose me to Erik? I mean I haven't developed feelings for him so how could he lose me to him exactly?

"Well if you won't leave her alone then I will have to force you to do so!" Erik said coldly. Before I could react I saw Erik pull a length of rope in the form of a lasso causing my eyes to widen a little in shock.

"Now I won't ask you again boy; leave her alone or I will be forced to hurt you." And it made me think for a moment; would he really hurt this man just to protect me? Would he actually kill a man in cold blood just so I would be safe? As I looked on in shock a single thought ran through my head; who is the monster and who is the man?


	13. Chapter 12

**The next chapter guys :) As you know I don't own anything from Phantom but I do own my OC :D Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed and favourited my story :) It means a lot to me :) I also have some news :) I have submitted two of my stories to the Inkitt FanFiction contest which are The Dreams of Angels and Heartache and Pain :) I would love love love it if you vote for one or both :) I would like to thank EmilyDory for telling me about the contest :) The site is [slash] fandom2 if you want to look at the stories :) They will be under the tab labelled 'latest' :) On with the show guys :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twelve: Don't be the Monster they Fear you are!**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~February 14** **th** **1907~**

I stood with lasso in hand as I calculated my next move; why couldn't this man just leave Caroline alone? It is clear from the way she behaves around him that she doesn't hold feelings for him so why does he continue to pursue her so?

"Now I will give you a choice; leave her alone and I will spare your life or continue to pursue her and I will be forced to use this against you." I said coldly and I fingered the lasso menacingly.

"I know my choice already." He replied coldly as he aimed the revolver towards me once again. However before I could throw the lasso at him I heard a voice shout.

"Don't be the monster they fear you are!" And a moment later someone was standing in front of me with their arms spread open in a defensive position.

"Caroline what are you doing?!" I asked curiously as I tried to move her out of the way.

"Don't be the monster people presume you are." She said gently as she touched me gently on the shoulder.

"But he sexually assaulted you and continuously pursues you; why should his life be spared?" I asked quietly and I once again poised the lasso towards him.

"If you end his life in cold blood you'll stoop to his level. I wouldn't like to see you stoop to his level at all; the level of a monster rather than a man." She said passionately as she grasped the hand holding the lasso and looked me in the eye; but was there another feeling swirling in the brown depths of her eyes or was I imagining it?

"You're lucky the princess is so merciful. But if you attempt to harm her in any way I will not be so lenient next time." I said stoically as I put away the lasso back within my cloak and went back towards my horse.

"Caroline why would you do something so stupid?!"

"All I did was save your life and reputation; next time I won't bother if that's the gratitude I receive." She replied angrily and with that she jumped onto her horse before riding off towards the horizon. But before she could get too far away I stopped Caesar in front of her and looked at her stoically.

"What makes you think I hold no gratitude for what you did?" I asked seriously.

"You know why Erik; now let me pass." She replied seething as she made a move to ride off once again.

"I want to thank you for what you did back there; I only said you did something stupid because I didn't want you to get hurt." I replied sincerely.

"I just thought you don't really show emotions and that's why you didn't show any gratitude towards me; I'm sorry for the misunderstanding." She replied meekly as she looked down at the ground and blushed deeply.

"It's no problem at all my dear. But I am curious to know; what were you doing in this area anyway? Don't you realise you are near the De Chagny kingdom?" I asked curiously.

"I was just went on a ride to pass the time and to think about the strange behaviour of Nadir and Antoinette; I have a feeling they are hiding something from me. I just don't know what though." She replied matter of factly.

"What makes you think they are hiding anything?" I questioned and she replied.

"Well I received a mysterious note today and when I asked Nadir if he knew who it might have come from he claimed not to know; but he had this look on his face like he knew something I didn't." So she received my note; but how could she not tell from whom it was from? However I decided to not say anything about who sent it yet.

"You'll find out one day; I know you will." I said cryptically and I watched as her brows furrowed a little.

"I better get back before they get worried; I hope I'll see you again soon in better circumstances." She said and with that she rode off into the horizon. As I watched her ride away I thought back to what happened; why was I so protective over her though? I mean we were just friends; however if that was the case why did I send such a romantic note to her? Once I got back to the castle I looked around to see my father reading a book in front of the fire.

"Hello father how was your day today?" I asked curiously as I sat down opposite him.

"I'm sorry son but I have some bad news for you; I think now is the time to break it to you." He said gravely. And so I waited with trepidation to see what he was going to say.

"The doctor paid me another visit today and he says I probably have until early September before the illness claims me." He explained and I felt a heaviness form in my chest; I know I never got on well with my father but it doesn't mean I want him to leave the world so soon.

"Are you sure there is no way of combating this illness?" I asked hoping there might be something that could be done.

"No son there isn't I'm afraid." He replied gravely.

"So let's spend all the time we can together and I'll strive to make it up to you; any way I can." He continued.

"What would you like to do father?" I asked curiously.

"How about we go into town and get hold of some sewing supplies? I'll ensure no-one judges you. We'll then spend some time designing the best costume the world has ever seen."

"What's the costume for?" I asked as my brows furrowed in confusion.

"You have been cordially invited to celebrate the first day of Spring on the 19th March with Princess Bellerose at a costume party." He replied and it made me think for a moment; one thing I noticed about Caroline was her obsession with masquerade balls. Why did she always host masquerade events? Was she trying to hide behind a mask or was it to ensure I could be invited to every event she hosts? But why would she invite me to so many events? And my thoughts drifted back to the first time I met the princess; or so I first thought. Why did she seem so familiar?

"Father I have a question for you." As I began to broach the subject of finding out who she is.

"Fire away my son; is it about our outing to town. We don't have to go if you don't want to."

"It isn't about the outing; I was wondering how much you know about the princess. The first time I met her it was like I had seen her before; but I couldn't put a finger on when exactly we met." I replied matter of factly.

"You were about ten when you first encountered her. I am surprised you remember her to be honest; but I guess that is one of your talents to remember things, even the smallest detail. That is the only time you have ever met her though."

"That's why she seems so familiar to me." I replied.

"She has grown so beautiful hasn't she?" My father asked but I didn't know what to say in response so I just nodded in agreement instead.

"Now why don't we go on that outing that I promised?" And so I grabbed my fedora hat and cloak before proceeding into the carriage with my father climbing in behind me. As we rode towards town my father asked.

"So you got any ideas what supplies you want to buy or what costume you will be making?"

"I was thinking of maybe coming as a musketeer. I'll need to get some navy fabric for the jacket though." I replied matter of factly just as the carriage pulled up into the centre of town. As I climbed out of the carriage I unconsciously pulled my hat down lower over my face to disguise the fact I was wearing a mask; even though my father was there I still could feel people's judgemental stares in my direction. I then made my way to the nearby haberdasher's to look at the fabric for my costume to escape from the stares of the people around me.

"Ah the Destler family; how lovely it is to see you again. Are you looking for anything in particular today?" The clerk asked with open arms and a smile on his face.

"I was looking to make a jacket out of navy velvet; a musketeers-style one, long and military-like." I replied as I continued to peruse the shelves.

"Then you might be interested in this fabric over here monsieur." He explained as he went over to a shelf nearby before pulling out a ream of fabric from the top shelf. I then felt it a little and knew this was the fabric I was to use for my costume.

"I'll order four yards of this fabric please." I asked and I watched as he cut the fabric with ease.

"Is there anything else you need monsieur or is that everything?"

"No thank you that is everything I need." I replied and after paying him I took the fabric out to the carriage.

"Is there anything else you need or is that everything done?" My father asked curiously.

"That is all I need for today thank you father." I replied and so after clambering back into the carriage we went in the direction of the castle. As the carriage took us towards the castle I kept thinking of the encounter with the De Chagny boy. If he isn't Philippe then who is he? And why is it his birthright to wed Caroline?

"Penny for your thoughts son?" A voice asked and I shook my head a little when I realised the fact my thoughts had wandered a bit.

"I was thinking about an encounter I had earlier; I am annoyed I can't find out who is hounding the princess."

"Is it because you don't like knowing something nor am I led to believe you having developed feelings for her so care about her wellbeing?" He asked curiously and I raised my brows a little.

"I don't know what you mean father." I replied sounding a little sarcastic in the process.

"There's no need for that tone is there? But I think you shouldn't deny it any longer son; I know there is something developing between the two of you and you should say something before it is too late." But why did I have the feeling there was more to what my father was saying than it appeared? Could he be hiding something from me? Could I possibly lose her if I don't admit to my feelings now? But I thought the rules of society dictate that you are betrothed to someone at a young age. So unless my father broke the rules and didn't betroth me then I would be forced to marry someone wouldn't I? But I know my father wouldn't break the rules as he has always taken them so seriously so who have I been betrothed to? But why haven't I been told yet? I have already come of age since I am now 20 so why wasn't I told about to whom I am betrothed to? Unless I have to wait until I turn 21 when I find out to whom I am married to then I am still in the dark. I then realised it was coming up to my birthday on the 1st March and it scared me as I knew I had to hold some sort of event to commemorate my 21st birthday. I remember feeling so judged when I turned 18 as it was two years after I became disfigured and wanting to hide from everyone who was invited.

"Father I am curious about something." I began slowly.

"What is it you wish to know? You know you can talk about anything don't you?"

"Was the princess invited to my 18th? Is that perhaps where I remember from?" And I watched as he thought intently for a moment.

"No I never invited her because around the time of your disfigurement she just disappeared off the face of the earth and I couldn't trace her to invite her to your 18th." He replied matter of factly as we arrived back at the castle. How strange that she disappeared around the same time I was disfigured. Could her disappearance from the world and me becoming disfigured be linked somehow? But what could that link possibly be? I decided to compose for the rest of the day until dinner approached so I could distract myself from thoughts of the princess. Once I had my dinner I found myself going straight to bed hoping thoughts of the princess wouldn't haunt me that night...


	14. Chapter 13

**Finally another chapter guys :) Sorry it took so long :/ Been super busy with Floristry assignment that is to be Phantom-themed :) Can't wait to make so excited :) Anyways as you know I don't own any of the characters from Phantom but do own Caroline :) On with the show and I appreciate every review, follow and favourite I receive :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Thirteen: Learn to Embrace it...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~March 1st 1907~**

Tonight was the night I will be able to attend the 21st birthday of Prince Erik Destler; however instead of being excited at the prospect of being allowed to leave the castle I was nervous at what the night would bring. I had never been invited to one of his events before; however I have heard rumours that they are always very big events with lots of people attending. I guess I have been invited for a reason though and so I have to attend to keep up appearances; I know I would feel so awkward though as I probably won't know a lot of the guests there. Once I had finished changing into my costume I went towards the door; the costume was made up of a beautiful dark green velvet dress with a flower crown, a pair of wings and a green mask as I was coming as a forest nymph. I just hope Erik would notice me; but why would I want him to notice me for? I shook my head a little to clear my thoughts before descending down the stairs to board the carriage which would take me to Erik's castle. Once I got there and the butler at the door took my cloak I had my name announced by the announcer before descending down the stairs. I gulped a little as everyone stared at me for a moment before going about their gossiping and socialising once again. Why did they stare at me for? Did I do something socially unacceptable or was it something else? After getting a glass of champagne I decided to stand in a corner hoping no-one would notice me. However that wasn't to be as one man after other kept coming up to me asking me to dance; I just meekly said I wasn't much of a dancer to which they went in search of another dance partner. I sighed angrily a little as I kept being bombarded by a lot of men; why did I have to be at this party anyway? I knew no-one here and I never really liked attending social events anyway. But the next man who asked me to dance stopped me thinking for a moment as I recognised to whom the voice belonged to.

"I would be honoured to take this next dance with you Monsieur." And after taking his outstretched hand I was led out onto the dance floor.

"Thank you for stepping in back there; I was about to lash out at the next man who asked me to dance."

"Thank you for attending the party; I know how hard it must be for you to attend events like this for you." And I went instantly quiet at his statement. I know he finds it hard to attend events due to the deformity; however what does he know about the hardships I go through due to my invisible quirks? Always having to be the perfect lady in front of everyone when in reality I want to be able to be whom I am. Once the dance was over he gave a bow before mingling amongst the guests once again. I guess he had a reputation to uphold too and that's why he had to leave me so soon. But why did I want him to stay so badly? It was like I couldn't even breathe when he wasn't by my side. Maybe if I snuck away now no-one would even notice I left since I didn't want to be at the party in the first place. But before I had the chance to sneak away a figure stepped in front of me; blocking my path and my ticket out of this crowd.

"May I have this next dance?" He asked civilly and he held out a hand for me to take.

"It's you again. Why are you here?" I breathed fearfully as I made a move to try and make my escape.

"I see you still have that quirk of remembering me without seeing my face; when you are my wife and my queen I will ensure that quirk is 'dealt' with."

"What do you mean exactly when you say that?" I asked and I could see the doorway over his shoulder. However, it was like he read my intentions as he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me out of the room down a random corridor.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as he continued to pull me down the corridor.

"Somewhere where no-one can interrupt us; especially that Prince Destler." He said coldly.

"I won't let you do this! Erik help me! Someone! Anyone! Let me go this instant!" I yelled hoping Erik would come to my rescue.

"He won't be able to save you...no-one can hear you out here." He continued coldly. Eventually we found ourselves in a deserted room where the only light coming in was the light from the moon that was round and bright in the sky.

"I demand you let me go this instant monsieur!" I seethed coldly as I continued to struggle out of his grasp.

"You are not in a position to demand anything! I am your superior and you will do as I say!"

"You are not my superior until we are bound in the eyes of God and the laws of matrimony. You cannot demand anything of me!" I yelled in reply as I pulled my arm forcefully out of his iron grip.

"You will remain silent!" He yelled and he slapped me hard across the face before kissing me hard on the lips. I bit him causing him to draw back with a yell of pain.

"Don't you take liberties with me monsieur; I don't know what game you are playing but I am most certainly not playing it with you." I replied as I made a bid for the door; however when I reached it I found it to be locked. But when did he manage to lock it without my knowledge?

"I demand to know who you are monsieur who pursues me so." I asked slowly as I turned around to face him.

"I see you still don't understand the etiquette of a masked ball. I think you should fire your tutor whilst you have the chance; he is not quite hitting the mark with you. But I will ensure you will learn how to behave when you are married to me!"

"I will never marry a monster like you! If you are like this as a prince I am afraid of what kind of king you will become." I said before ripping the mask from his face.

"You're a member of the De Chagny family! I will definitely never marry you!" I breathed as the mask slipped from my grasp.

"I see you can recall the family resemblance; no matter. That will still not ruin my plans for you." He said coldly. But before he could touch me again the door burst open and I turned around to see Erik in front of me with his white mask glowing threateningly in the moonlight.

"What did I tell you about threatening the princess boy?" He asked slowly as he pulled me behind him before I had time to react.

"I don't care what you say about threatening her; I am a De Chagny and it is my right by birth to have her hand in marriage!" He yelled and my eyes widened when he pulled a sword out of his belt. How did I not notice it there before? Or did I think it was part of his costume and so it wasn't really real? But before De Chagny could harm me any further or threaten my life I heard a commotion and I turned around to see three guards enter the room. However when I turned back around De Chagny was nowhere in sight.

"Where did he disappear off to?" I asked nervously and I looked around the room a little.

"I'm not sure; I've sent the guards to look around for him and make sure he has left the castle entirely. I'm sorry he was allowed to violate you once again. I just wish I could make it up to you somehow."

"You inviting me here is the greatest thing I could ask for. I just wish I could be stronger somehow and not be so pathetic." I replied quietly as I turned around before he could see the tears that started to form behind my mask.

"You are not pathetic; you are strong in your own and beautiful way. Learn to embrace it and you will see the strength you have inside." I heard Erik say gently as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Then you don't know me at all." I whispered and with that I left the room without looking back. After grabbing my cloak I boarded my carriage and I was driven back to the castle without bidding Erik goodbye; all the while I had thoughts of what had happened and what he said to me running through my head.


	15. Chapter 14

**Ta da another chapter YAY :D So we have another chapter guys :) You know the drill :) I don't own any lyrics mentioned in this and I don't own any characters from Phantom :) I do however own Caroline as I created her myself :) Thank you for all of the reviews, follows and favourites :) You guys really make my day :) On with the show :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Fourteen: When Tears are in Your Eyes, I Will Dry Them All...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~March 19** **th** **1907~**

It was the night of the celebration of the first day of Spring and I was hiding in my usual corner with my characteristic white half mask over my face and a white poet shirt, burgundy waistcoat and black jacket and trousers. As I drank my glass of champagne I looked around the room hoping for a glimpse of Caroline; however I had yet to see her and it saddened me a little. But why did her lack of presence sadden me so much? Was it because I enjoyed her company so or was there something more to this feeling of sadness I was experiencing? Suddenly a silence filled the air and I looked up to see a figure descending the stairs that I knew well; Caroline was descending the stairs like an elegant swan wearing a gown of burgundy and black and a half mask of black. I wonder what she is supposed to represent exactly. I then saw a look of apprehension and nervousness overcome her delicate features; but what did she have to be nervous about? He then noticed how everyone in the room had stopped what they were doing and observed her closely as she descended the stairs. Was this what she was nervous about? Was there some reason for her to have a dislike of being observed by other people? Was she judged just as much as me? But why would someone as beautiful as she be judged so cruelly by people? Without even thinking I made my way towards her; for some reason a part of me wanted to protect her from all of the judgemental stares that I am only too familiar with. But I wasn't able to reach her as someone had already beaten me to her and so I watched closely as he talked to the princess; ready to step in when necessary. But who was this man? And why did the princess seem strangely at ease when talking to him? I clenched my fist angrily as she laughed and smiled with the man; but what was this feeling coursing through my veins and why was I being so possessive of her? I mean she isn't my wife so she should be allowed to socialise with whom she pleased right? But as soon as the man arrived he disappeared and once again the princess was mingling amongst the guests. I walked up to her and said civilly.

"May I have this dance?" And I held out my hand for her to take. I inwardly smiled when she took it and I proceeded to dance her into a waltz around the floor; ignoring all of the people around us as she was the only person that mattered to me right now.

"I noticed you talking to a gentleman earlier; you seemed quite comfortable and content with him. Are you able to tell me who he is?" I asked curiously.

"He is called Philippe; he has always been close friends with my parents before they died and he has finally been able to attend one of my events since he got married about a year ago." She replied as we continued to dance around the floor; why did the name sound familiar though? And was it a coincidence he got married around about a year ago; I mean that would have made it the same year Caroline's parents were killed by the De Chagny's. But why am I thinking this is such a coincidence?

"I can hear you thinking monsieur; is everything alright? Was it something I said?" A voice asked curiously and I looked down to see Caroline's concerned green eyes looking up at me.

"I'm sorry princess. It appears I spaced out for a moment there; but no nothing is wrong at all princess." I replied as we continued to dance just as the music came to an end.

"Thank you for the dance; it was truly wonderful being in your company." And with a deep bow I left her in the centre of the dance floor; her penetrating gaze following me as I left the room to get some air. As I walked around the grounds my thoughts drifted back to the talk I had with the princess; the only Philippe I remember was a member of the De Chagny family. But why would she invite a member of the De Chagny family considering they murdered her family? Were she friends with the De Chagny's before her parents were murdered? Although he was married a year ago; around the time the Bellerose family was killed he could still have remained friends with the Bellerose family right? At least that's how I am interpreting things so far. After a while I decided to return to the party to see Caroline being inundated by a lot of men once again; I swear so many men want her for only one reason and that's because of her beauty. But why was I so jealous when other men were vying for her attention? Did I truly love this beautiful and quirky woman or was I just ridiculously over protective about her for some reason? I strode over to where she was and said.

"May I have this next dance?" And once again she accepted my outstretched hand causing a smirk to grace my lips as I saw a look of disappointment form on their features.

"Thanks once again for getting me away from there; it's like you can sense when I am in trouble or something." She said meekly; I watched as she looked down at her feet nervously with a blush gracing her cheeks as we continued to glide around the floor.

"I don't think that's the case at all princess." I replied with a deep laugh as I dipped her body low for a moment causing a deeper blush to colour her face. Once she was upright we continued around the floor until another man approached us and said.

"Mind if I cut in?" And I had to suppress a growl as I turned to look at the man who dared interrupt us.

"I would love to Philippe." She replied and when I looked at the man again he did look similar to the one I saw earlier talking to the princess. I watched forlornly as she walked over to him and began to dance; but I shouldn't be jealous should I? I mean he is already married and he wouldn't do anything to hurt her even though he is a De Chagny right? However as I watched the princess dancing with Philippe I noticed how happy she was with him and how content she seemed around him; but was it because she was good friends with him or is there something else I am missing? And with these thoughts of jealousy swirling through my head I left the party without a word; like a phantom of sorts.

As I took a long walk back to the castle my thoughts kept drifting back to the interaction between the princess and Philippe; were they just friends or were they something more? But they can't possibly be more could they as he is already married? Once I arrived back at the castle I threw my cloak angrily onto a chair in the music room; I then strode over to my organ before pounding my emotions onto it late into the night; all the while the moon glowed brightly in the sky almost like it was sharing my anguish. But no matter how much I played I couldn't get rid of the feelings stirring within my heart that couldn't be explained. Why was it whenever I saw the princess with another man a feeling of possessiveness surged through me? I then realised I was as bad as that De Chagny boy pursuing the princess and I growled a little when I realised I was comparing myself to that fop of a prince. Well I'll show that prince he is messing with the wrong princess and that he should keep his hand at the level of his eyes. And with that I swirled my cloak around my shoulders before taking my lasso in hand before making my way downstairs. But before I could leave out of the door I heard a voice say.

"Please son, think about what you are doing. Don't be the man they fear you are; and if you do this you'll lose the princess for sure."

"I don't have a clue what you are talking about father."

"You are after that De Chagny prince aren't you? Please think about what you are doing and how it will harm the friendship you have formed with the princess." And with a drop of my hands and a sigh escaping my lips I thought about how the princess would react to me killing a man in cold blood.

"Thank you son; I'm glad you have made the right choice." He said sincerely as he placed his hand gently on my shoulder. I then decided to visit the princess today and go on a horse ride with her as I enjoyed the last time I rode with her. Once I saddled up Caesar I leapt onto his back before riding out towards Caroline's castle. Once I arrived I jumped off of Caesar's back and proceeded to knock firmly on the door; I then waited for someone to answer.

"May I help you?" The man asked seriously.

"Is the princess home?" I asked as I ignored the fact he was staring at the mask.

"She is indeed; I'll erm let the princess know you're here." He replied evenly and with that he left the doorway in search of the princess. Why did he seem so impolite when I asked if the princess was in? Was it because of the mask or was there something more that I didn't know about?

"Prince Erik it's so good to see you again. What brings you to my castle?" A voice asked jovially and I looked up to see the princess in front of me wearing a simple gown of red, gold and black; another one of her creations I guess.

"I came to ask if you would like to go on a ride with me." I asked politely and I waited to see how she would respond to my offer.

"I'd love to; but Gris has to stay inside. She injured herself recently and has to keep off her leg until it heals. So that means no riding for her."

"You can ride on Caesar if you'd like." I replied quickly.

"Are you sure that's ok? He won't mind would he?" She asked quietly.

"Of course not; in fact he seems to trust you. I find that strange considering usually I am the only one who can groom and ride him." I replied.

"Let me just change into a more suitable riding outfit and I'll meet you outside." She said and so she went upstairs whilst I went outside to prepare my horse. Soon enough I saw her come out in a pair of red trousers with a red and black top and jacket.

"You look lovely princess; definitely ready for a ride." I said politely and with that I clambered onto Caesar's back before helping Caroline onto the horse as well. However I noticed the fact she was riding side saddle when she sat on the horse even though she was wearing trousers; why was she doing this though unless it was a behaviour drummed into her by her father? With one flick of the reins we rode off towards the horizon as Caroline squealed in excitement; the wind blowing through her hair causing a smile to grace my lips. I see Caesar has the same effect he had on me; when I rode Caesar I felt free. Almost like I was free from people's judgements and stares; I enjoyed my time with Caesar as he never judged me. I felt like I was loved and wanted by someone and that made me love the world for once; but could this wonderful and quirky woman love me too? Could I love her back? Could I open my heart to her and give her the one thing I thought I had lost the night of the fire? The one thing I had lost the night of that fire that took my mother and my face was my humanity; but had meeting this woman given me back the humanity I long thought lost? I then saw where we were and so I gave Caesar's reins a gentle pull before jumping down from the saddle; I then proceeded to help Caroline down from the saddle.

"This is the place I come to when I need to think." I explained as I looked out over the lake with a waterfall flowing into it.

"It's beautiful." She breathed causing tears to come unbidden down her cheeks; I took her hand gently and asked curiously as I wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Is everything ok? You're crying."

"Yes everything is fine; I am not sure why I am being brought to tears by being here though." She replied quietly. As I continued to look over the lake a song came into my head and without a second thought I started to sing.

 _When you're weary, feeling small,_

 _When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;_

 _I'm on your side. When times get rough_

 _And friends just can't be found,_

 _Like a bridge over troubled water_

 _I will lay me down._

 _Like a bridge over troubled water_

 _I will lay me down._

 _When you're down and out,_

 _When you're on the street,_

 _When evening falls so hard_

 _I will comfort you._

 _I'll take your part._

 _When darkness comes_

 _And pain is all around,_

 _Like a bridge over troubled water_

 _I will lay me down._

 _Like a bridge over troubled water_

 _I will lay me down._

 _Sail on silvergirl,_

 _Sail on by._

 _Your time has come to shine._

 _All your dreams are on their way._

 _See how they shine._

 _If you need a friend_

 _I'm sailing right behind._

 _Like a bridge over troubled water_

 _I will ease your mind._

 _Like a bridge over troubled water_

 _I will ease your mind._

As the last note echoed around the lake I took hold of her face gently and kissed her passionately on the lips. I smiled into the kiss as she reciprocated for a moment before we eventually had to pull away for air; but when I looked at her there was this sadness in her eyes that confused me greatly.

"I'm sorry but this can never be." And with that she turned away from me with tears in her eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I touched her gently on the shoulder.

"I can't bear the heartache if I were to find out you were betrothed to someone else; you are a prince and I am a princess so we are bound to be betrothed to someone. I just don't think this relationship will ever come to pass." She replied as she clambered onto the back of Caesar signalling the fact she wanted to go back to the castle. I obeyed as I clambered onto the back of Caesar as well before snapping the reins to head back towards the castle. As I rode back I thought about what happened; why did I kiss her for? And why did she imply that our relationship could never be? Did that mean she was already betrothed and if so to whom or did she think perhaps that she wasn't good enough for someone like me? Once we arrived back at the castle I quietly helped her off the saddle and with a look back at me in silence she went back into the castle and I rode away in contemplative silence...


	16. Chapter 15

**Another chapter and you know the drill :) Anything to do with Phantom is not my own although I kinda wish it was :/ But Caroline is mine :) On with the show and thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Fifteen: Let's Talk this Over, it's not Like We're Dead...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~August 19** **th** **1907~**

It had been five months since my last encounter with the prince and during those five months my thoughts kept drifting back to the kiss that occurred at the lake. Why did he kiss me and so passionately for that matter? However I have been unable to ask him as during the past five months he has been dealing with matters of the state. But why would he be busy with such matters for? I mean I thought his father would be dealing with most of the matters; unless he was dealing with his imminent betrothment and that's why he hasn't been talking to me. I guess he wanted to spare my feelings so I wasn't hurt; but why would I be missing him so if that were the case? After all I believed our relationship could never blossom so I shouldn't miss him so much should I? Was it because he treated me like a 'normal' person or was there something more that I was missing? I shook my head a little to clear my thoughts before I saw my tutor as he really hates it when I daydream during his lessons; he says it is most unbecoming of a princess to do so. Once I arrived at the library the lesson commenced and I had to learn about all things financial because as a princess and future queen I would have to deal with such matters. All the time during the lesson I was trying to stay awake and not let my mind wander; even though I was bored to tears at listening to a subject matter I didn't fully understand to begin with.

All too soon the lesson was over and after breathing a sigh of relief I decided to ride Gris as I haven't been able to ride her in a while due to her leg injury. As I rode around my kingdom I thought back to the day by the lake. Did he kiss me on impulse or was he showing me how he truly felt about me? I then realised where I was and wondered if I'd be able to visit the prince after so long of not seeing each other; maybe then he could explain to me what he felt that night at the lake. I reached the front of Erik's castle and after leaving Gris in the stable I went to the front door and knocked firmly on it three times before waiting for a response.

"Hello can I help you mademoiselle?" The butler asked and I replied.

"Bonjour monsieur; is Prince Destler home?"

"He is; who may I say is calling?"

"Tell him Princess Bellerose is here to see him." I replied and I followed behind the butler as he led me inside. As I waited for Erik to arrive I looked around at the castle and realised how truly beautiful it was for the first time; how did I not notice it's beauty before though? I have been here quite a few times now so should have been able to see its beauty right?

"Bonjour mademoiselle what brings you to my humble castle?" A voice asked and I recognised it immediately without even turning around; but why was he being so formal towards me though?

"Aren't I allowed to see an old friend?" I asked as I turned towards Erik with a smile on my face.

"Of course." He replied evenly as he stood in the corner of the room with his arms crossed over his chest.

"So what has been happening since we last met?" I asked curiously as I took a step towards him.

"Nothing much; I have mostly been dealing with several important matters of state." He replied evenly; but why was he being so secretive for? I thought we were friends and friends shouldn't hide secrets from each other should they?

"How about you? Have you been up to anything interesting?"

"Just the usual; learning everything it takes to be a good queen as well as designing my costume for my 18th birthday celebration and composing mostly." And I saw something in his eyes akin to surprise; almost like he was remembering the fact that it was coming up to my birthday soon.

"You are cordially invited to my birthday; it has a theme to it too." I said happily hoping he would accept my invitation.

"What's the theme?" He asked curiously.

"The theme is A Night at the Opera." I replied as I love listening to the music from opera's even though I don't always necessarily understand the emotions they are trying to convey.

"Sounds like an interesting theme Mademoiselle." He said civilly.

"Why are you being so formal towards me? Aren't we friends? Why can't we call each other by our first names Erik?" I asked curiously.

"Because it is better if we don't get too close; in case we have to break each other's hearts when we find out to whom we are betrothed to." He replied sadly as he turned to look out of a nearby window.

"You don't know who you are betrothed to either?" I asked curiously as I myself don't know to whom I am betrothed to; apparently I have to wait until I turn 18 to find out.

"No I don't I'm afraid; however I am not sure why my father hasn't told me yet since I thought I would have found out by now." He replied matter of factly as once again a pregnant silence filled the air; so much so you could cut the air with a knife. So his father has been hiding secrets from his son too; just like Antoinette and Nadir have been hiding secrets from me too.

"I guess that kiss meant nothing to you then." I said sadly as I turned around and made my way towards the door before he could see the tears forming in my eyes. As I made my way to Gris I ignored him calling out my name desperately; I worked out if there were no goodbyes it would hurt my heart less. As I rode back to the castle I allowed the tears to stream heavily down my cheeks; how could he be so cold and indifferent after the kiss he gave me five months ago? Was he just playing with my feelings all this time and he truly held nothing but friendship for me? Once I got in and left Gris to graze I ran into the castle towards my room without responding to anyone calling my name in confusion. I got to my room and fell onto my bed in tears; as I cried it felt like hours had gone by when in reality only mere minutes had passed. As I continued to cry there was a light knock on the door but I ignored it as I didn't want to see anyone right now.

"Caroline; are you ok in there? Do you want to talk about it?" A voice I recognised to belong to Nadir asked gently. However instead of replying I picked up my violin and allowed discordant notes to escape it; even though it caused me some discomfort doing so. As I played I let out all of the heartache and pain in my heart hoping I could make it go away; however no matter how much I played the pain in my heart still remained stronger than before. Why does heartache and betrayal hurt so much though? I just wished such feelings didn't exist in the world as they wound my heart when I experience them; almost like someone has taken out my heart and stabbed it several times with a knife. Eventually I had to stop as my fingers felt sore and were on the verge of bleeding from all of the frantic playing I was doing.

"Caroline please answer me. I am worried about you and I hate it when you hurt yourself like this." A voice pleaded and I eventually decided to answer the door to see Nadir on the other side.

"I can tell something is bothering you princess; do you want to talk about it?"

"I thought he loved me but I was wrong." I replied cryptically as once again the tears streamed down my cheeks.

"But he does still love you." He replied sincerely as he went to touch me gently on the shoulder as a gesture of comfort. However I yelled angrily in reply.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better!" And with that I ran out of the room and towards the stables. I just had to get away from it all; from everything I held dear. I jumped onto Gris' back without putting on her saddle and rode away from the castle. As I rode away from the castle once again I allowed the tears to fall; how could I have so many tears to shed though? Eventually I found myself at the lake and it brought back memories of five months ago when I was here with Erik which saddened me a little. As I looked over the lake I thought about where my life would lead and what would happen in less than a month; but all of a sudden a kindly voice asked causing me to turn around in shock.

"Caroline is that you? What are you doing here and why are you so upset?"


	17. Chapter 16

**Hi guys we have a new chapter :) You know the drill :) I don't own anything from Phantom but I do own my character and the altered lyrics of Why So Silent? from Phantom :) Lyricising isn't my strong point so please no flames if they are not that good :/ I am already having to appease Erik every time I write lyrics to make sure he doesn't punjab me when he sees them :/ Not everyone is a first class musician and composer like you Erik T_T Oh oh better run :/ He didn't seem to appreciate that last comment there :/ *Runs and hides in corner as Erik pursues close behind with punjab lasso in hand* On with the show! Maybe some reviews might appease him long enough for me to write another chapter or two or something :/**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Sixteen: Take Flight...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~August 19** **th** **1907~**

After she rode off I tried to follow her hoping I could explain the situation exactly but she got away so fast I lost her within moments. Once again I decided to visit my favourite spot by the lake where I enjoy spending time thinking and sometimes even composing when the melody arises. As I sat there for hours I heard the sound of hooves approaching and I armed myself with lasso in hand to deal with the threat when it arose. However I was shocked to see a tearful Caroline in front of me on her horse. What was she doing here and why was she so upset? Did she encounter that De Chagny boy perhaps or was there another cause to her tears?

"Caroline is that you? What are you doing here and why are you so upset?" I asked before I could stop the words coming out of my mouth.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade your space; I'll leave you to your thoughts." She replied quickly and I saw her making a move to ride off once again. However I grabbed the reins and whispered soothing words into Gris' ear which calmed her immediately; I guess I have always had an infinity with animals especially horses as they don't judge you.

"Why are you doing this? Don't you realise how much you are hurting me by doing this?" She asked tearfully as she tried to move her horse out of my grip to which Gris didn't respond.

"Please Caroline hear me out. I haven't been seeing you lately as my father is dying; he is very sick and so I have been handling affairs of state all by myself so everything is ready. He hasn't got long now and I will rule the kingdom when he passes. But I still love you. I said what I said before because I wanted to spare you the pain; but now I see how much I have hurt you and for that I am truly sorry." I replied pleadingly and I watched as she looked at me in shock and her eyes softened a little. I didn't give her time to reply as I pulled her off of her horse and kissed her passionately on the lips; I could taste the salt of tears on my lips and soon enough I smiled when she responded with equal fervour. All too soon I had to stop for air and when I looked at her I pushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Would you like to attend my birthday party? It's a masquerade theme and I would be honoured if you attended." She asked quietly.

"I would be honoured to attend Princess." And I enveloped her small delicate hands gently in my larger ones.

"I'm so glad we have settled our differences; you are a very dear friend to me and I care about you very much." She said quietly. But was there something else she was hiding under the surface? And if so why would she hide the feelings she displayed on her sleeve moments before?

"I better head back before Nadir sends the entirety of the castle guards after me." She said quietly. I watched with a heavy heart as she rode away towards the horizon. But I kept telling myself I would see her soon and as I rode back I could hear a new melody forming in my mind.

I immediately went to my music room and where I picked up my violin before starting to compose. Once it was finished I wrote the name 'Take Flight' at the top of the page and then signed it with my signature and wax seal; I knew this was the present I was to present to the princess on her birthday. I then proceeded to my sewing room where I spent hours sketching and screwing up several ideas for a costume this year; it had to be better and different to ones I have done before. Soon enough my final design was finished and I decided to come as the Red Death. As I already had my costume pretty much created I focused on creating a realistic mask that would have a movable jaw incorporated into the design. As I continued to create the shape of the mask there was a knock at the door and so after cleaning my hands on an old rag I went to answer it.

"Just to inform you monsieur dinner is set out on the table." The maid said and I replied.

"Inform father I'll be down in a moment."

"I'm afraid he won't be joining you this evening; he's feeling unwell this evening." I followed the maid closely out of the room and as I ate alone I realised that this was about the third time I was doing so this week; I guess the illness is now starting to affect him worse than before. Once I finished I decided to play my new song to my father as I knew he would enjoy the song very much. After collecting up my violin and my sheet music I went to my father's room before knocking on the door. I heard him say 'enter' and so I went in to see my father sitting up in bed with a book in his hands.

"I composed a new song father; I was wondering if you would like to hear it." I asked curiously.

"I'd like that very much son." He replied and so after setting up the violin I began to play; instantly becoming lost in the music and the beauty of the song even though it had no lyrics. Once it had ended there was a small applause and my father said.

"That was beautiful son; your mother would have loved that song so much. You really are talented. I'm glad I got to hear your music before I passed; your music touches my heart and makes me feel free whenever I hear it." He said sincerely.

"Thank you father." I replied sincerely and I bowed to him as a sign of respect. I saw him try and suppress a yawn and I said gently.

"I'll bid you goodnight father; you look like you need to rest."

"Goodnight son." He said in reply and with that I picked up my violin once again and left the room.

That night I had images of being alone in the darkness and no-one was in sight as a haunting melody echoed around me; but what did this dream mean exactly? Did it mean I was destined to be alone unless I confessed my feelings for the princess; could the haunting melody represent the princess and the feelings she could possess for me? I picked up my book from nearby and proceeded to read which made me fall asleep almost immediately.

 **~1** **st** **September 1907~**

It was the night of the Bellerose Masquerade Birthday Ball and my costume was ready to wear; after picking up the princess' present I boarded the carriage and I looked out of the window as the scenery rushed by. Before I knew it I saw the Bellerose castle coming into view. Once it stopped outside the doors I clambered out and went up to the doors where the butler was taking cloaks and hats from guests. After giving my cloak to the butler I decided to make an entrance no-one will ever forget. I got to the top of the stairs and after gesturing to the doorman to keep my presence quiet I opened the doors to which everyone looked up in shock.

 _Why so silent, good Messieurs?_

 _Did you think that I had left you for good?_

 _Have you missed me, good Messieurs?_

 _I have written the princess a gift_

 _Here, I bring the finished song._

 _I call it Take Flight!_

 _Now I will play this for you princess_

 _And wish you a prosperous birthday too_

I walked over to the piano where I placed the sheet music onto it and I then poised my fingers above the keys; I started to play and immediately became lost to the world around me. I only realised the song was finished when the sound of applause reached my ears; after I bowed a little I collected my sheet music and went back into the party once again. As I walked around with a drink in my hand I saw a lot of people come up to me and complement me on the present I created for the princess as well as my entrance into the party. Eventually I was able to escape from the crowds and I found myself on the balcony. As I looked over the dimly lit gardens with my glass my hand and I sipped it slowly; revelling in the peace and quiet around me.

"You sure do know how to make an entrance." A voice said and I turned around immediately as I recognised the voice of Caroline without even looking.

"Happy birthday Caroline." I said gently as I wrapped my arms around her waist; but my brows furrowed a little when she looked down with a blush and tried to pull away a little.

"What's wrong?" I asked gently as I placed my fingers under her chin to make her look me in the eye.

"People will see us and start to talk." She replied meekly as the blush on her cheeks grew darker.

"Let them see and speculate; but I love you and I hate to hide the love that we share." I replied soothingly. However I had no time to kiss her as the sound of someone clearing their throat reached my ears.

"Prince Destler? Princess Bellerose? I have been sent to retrieve the both of you. I have some urgent news." He said stoically.

"What is it?" I asked curiously as I let go of Caroline quickly.

"It's about your father Prince Destler." He said quietly.

"What's wrong?" I asked as panic rose within me.

"He's requested your presence; and the princess' too. He's dying; you must go to him immediately. He has some things he wishes to say before he passes on." Without another word I took hold of Caroline's hand and after grabbing both of our cloaks I helped her into my carriage before asking the driver to take us back to the castle. How could he be dying and why did he request the princess? I asked to myself as we were driven back to the castle; the scenery a blur as we drove through an area I knew well...


	18. Chapter 17

**The long awaited next chapter is here :) Sorry it took so long; combination of stress causing writer's block and lack of internet :( But now I have my writing mojo back :)**

 **Erik: Who has been upsetting you? I can sort them out for you.**

 **Me: No that is not necessary...*Erik walks away with lasso in hand* I better go after him before he does something rather drastic to my manager; no matter how much I don't like him and stresses me out :/ As you know I don't own anything but my own OC Caroline :) On with the show :D Thank you for the reviews, follows and favourites :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Seventeen: I Ask You a Question and You Give Me A Lie...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~September 1st 1907~**

As we made our way back to the palace the message the butler gave me swirled around my head; my father was dying and requested mine and Caroline's presence. But why would he need to see the princess for? Did he want to see her one last time or was there something I was missing? We got to the palace and I led Caroline straight to my father's room where he has been residing for the past week or so. I immediately knelt down beside him and took hold of his hand which he took back weakly. However I looked up when I noticed Caroline wasn't with me; my eyes then fell upon her small form standing in the doorway.

"Come closer my child there is nothing to be afraid of; I want to see your beautiful face one last time." And so she reluctantly came down beside me.

"My dear you look so much like your mother. I had the honour of meeting your parents before they died and they are such wonderful people. You definitely take after your mother in beauty and spirit; but I do see some of your father in you too, even if you don't see it."

"Thank you Charles." She replied meekly.

"Please come closer; there is something you should know Erik. About the night of the fire; the night your mother died." He said weakly and so I came closer; but what would he say about that night?

 _It was five years ago but it seemed like only yesterday; you had just turned sixteen at the time. We had celebrated your birthday in the usual Destler style where we threw a huge party and invited everyone from the kingdom including the De Chagny's son Philippe. Once the party was finished you were in your music room composing and I was sitting in front of the fire reading; your mother decided to turn in early as she was tired from all of the festivities that day. But what happened next sent fear down my spine; there were screams of panic coming from the castle staff and I went out to see smoke filling the second floor where your mother was sleeping. Without even thinking about my safety I tried as hard as I could to rescue your mother; however you had also thought of the same idea. I came across your prone body lying face down on the floor next to the still body of your mother. I picked you up knowing there was nothing I could do to save your mother and carried you out of the burning castle. Once we got to safety I saw the damage that was done to your face and the fact that my wife was gone and I screamed out in anguish and cried so many tears that night. I was angry at what happened as you could have had the world at your feet and now that was never to happen because of your deformity. You were in a coma for two months and doctors had lost all hope of you ever waking up. However, one night I was playing the music box I gave to your mother for our first wedding anniversary; it played our song that you had composed for our wedding called Music of the Night. It was our favourite song and yours too and it caused you to wake from your coma. However for the first couple of years you became more and more of a recluse; you would lock yourself away in your music room for hours at a time and wouldn't talk to anyone. I thought I lost my son to the demons that had formed inside of him; the demon that stole him from me the night of the fire..._

"When you reached 18 I decided to arrange a marriage for you; I thought no woman would ever love the man you had become and so I decided to pick a future queen for you. That was when I met Caroline's father Alexandre; at the time I met him Caroline was probably about 15. He was also having problems trying to find a suitable husband for his daughter as well; he viewed her as an oddity and rebellious at times." My father continued.

"So what happened between you and Alexandre?" I asked curiously. But before my father could reply there was a knock at the door. I went to answer it and saw a maid on the other side.

"Nadir Kahn and Antoinette Giry are here at your request your majesty." She said stoically and so I told her to send them up. But why would they be here for?

"Bring them up please Marie." He asked weakly and with a curtsy she left the room; closing the door behind her.

"Ah I am so glad I could see you one last time before I died. I think now is the time to tell them everything."

"I thought you already told us everything father." I said curiously.

"Not everything my son; you see after I met Caroline's father I decided that we both should arrange a betrothal between the both of you when you were 18 and Caroline was 15. I know it is a little late but I guess at the time I hadn't met anyone suitable for you. It was then decided also that we wouldn't tell Caroline about this marriage until she turned 16. However; when I heard the news of her parents' death I was unable to tell her as Nadir and Antoinette requested that we wait until she turns 18. When her presence will be known to the world and when she is ready to handle the news."

"How could you?" I heard a small voice ask angrily.

"How could you hide something like this from me? All those times I asked you questions and all you gave me were lies in return. Did you not think me intelligent or mature enough to handle the news? Well who should have been the judge of that?" She continued tearfully and with that Caroline left the room in tears.

"Why did you hide the betrothal from me father?"

"I was afraid of how you would react; and I was waiting for Caroline to come of age before she found out. But I see she hasn't taken the news well. But promise me one thing when I am gone; watch over her and protect her but most of all love her with everything you have. She is like the daughter I never had and I would never ever want to see her hurt." He said weakly as he took hold of my hand with a weak grip and gave a small cough.

"Goodbye son and I am sorry for everything that I have done." He said and he laid back with his eyes closed.

"Father?" I asked and that's when I realised he was gone.

"I will honour your wish; I promise with my life that I will honour it." And after kissing him on the forehead and closed his eyes I turned my attention to Antoinette and Nadir.

"I guess we will have to organise things so that the princess can move into the castle since she is to be married soon."

"Erik people will frown upon the two of you living together when you are not married." Nadir said with worry lacing his tone.

"Times have changed Nadir; and since when have I followed the rules of convention and what society dictates?" I replied matter of factly. With that I left the room in search of Caroline after she left the room in tears. Soon enough I found her in the gardens sitting by a fountain.

"Caroline?" I asked gently and I saw her turn around quickly with tears still in her eyes.

"What do you want?" She asked angrily as her eyes lit up for a moment causing me to step back a little. The last time I saw the anger in her eyes was after I had left her when my father was dying.

"Caroline talk to me please." I pleaded as I tried to approach her.

"How long have you known?" She asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"About the betrothal? How long have you known about the betrothal for?"

"I have only just found out about it myself; my father never told me about the encounter with your father or about the betrothal." I replied sincerely hoping I could convey a feeling of trust with my words.

"Why did they hide it from me for all those years? I thought they loved me but then they lied to me and hid the truth for all those years."

"They did it to protect you; and because they loved you." I replied soothingly and I took hold of her hands; to which she didn't recoil from my touch.

"I will tolerate the idea but I don't necessarily have to like it." She said stoically. With that I watched forlornly as she got up and left the gardens without looking back. Was it my fault she was mad at me or was she mad at the situation? I mean I know she has a set routine that she has to follow; so perhaps she was upset about the situation because it is changing her routine. I decided to leave her to her thoughts whilst I plan the funeral. As I planned every detail to give him the perfect send off I decided at that moment to compose a song just for him; a requiem. But what kind of song would I compose? I decided to then think about my father and the kind of person he was; however so far no ideas could come to me. But why was I finding it so hard to compose a melody in honour of my father? Was it because I never really got on well with my father or was there something more to it than that? I then remembered the melody I composed for their wedding that didn't have any lyrics to it. As I composed lyrics for hours; going through a cycle of scribbling out and writing down lyrics I realised this would be a fitting tribute to father. Especially knowing how much he loved my mother and how much he loved the present I gave him before he turned cold and angry.

As I signed the music with my signature I realised how long I had been composing for when my neck gave a moan of protest and my stomach gave an almighty growl. I then decided to search out for Caroline and nourishment as it was approaching dinner time. However when I got to the table I saw no-one in sight apart from Marie.

"Has the princess been fetched?" I asked Marie curiously.

"I'm afraid no-one has seen her, your majesty." She replied sadly with a small bow of her head.

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

"She was last seen in the room with your father and then again for a little while after. But no-one has seen her since." She replied with nerves lacing her voice. And with that I ran out of the room in search of the princess. Could she have bolted hoping to escape the fate awaiting her? But why wouldn't she want the fate laid out for her? I know she has feelings for me so why is the arrangement so detestable for her? I saw the stable boy brushing my horse's coat and I asked quickly.

"Have you seen the princess?"

"I have; she left with Antoinette and Nadir in a carriage about half an hour or so ago. She shouldn't be too long; apparently they are getting her belongings from the castle. Weren't you informed about this your majesty?" He replied and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"No, I wasn't. Thank you Stefan." I replied quietly. But why didn't the princess tell me the fact she was leaving the castle? But at least she isn't leaving for good. Maybe her getting her stuff means she is accepting her fate and what my father asked of both of us. I then decided to eat as I didn't know how long the princess would be gone for. However I allowed her the time to assess and fully accept the situation that was placed on her shoulders. Once I finished I noticed the fact she was still nowhere to be seen and that her dinner lay untouched; it was at that moment I heard the most beautiful music emanating around the castle. But where was it coming from? I got up from my seat and followed it to the music room where I saw the princess playing her violin once again. She seemed lost in the music and I saw she had also changed from the dress she was in earlier to a simple gown in a dark burgundy.

"That was beautiful." I said sincerely as I moved away from the doorway.

"Thank you; I didn't realise you were there. I hope I didn't disturb anything. My apologies monsieur." She replied politely. But why was she being so formal towards me? Did she think she couldn't call me by my name now we are about to be married?

"Please call me Erik. We're friends so you can call me by my name." I explained gently.

"We shouldn't be so informal between each other until we are married monsieur." She replied and with that she put away her violin and left the room. I then decided to see if Nadir and Antoinette were about; maybe they could shed some light on the situation and see if there is any way I can break the princess out of this depressive and emotionless stupor.

"Ah Nadir and Antoinette; just the people I wanted to see. Would you be able to shed some light on the princess' behaviour?" I asked curiously.

"She has always had an aversion to a change in her routine for as long as we can remember. When her old tutor retired and we brought in the new one she refused to attend lessons for three days." Antoinette explained.

"We don't know why she doesn't like the change in routine but we always thought it was a quirk of hers and so we just accommodated her habits as best as we could." Nadir continued matter of factly.

"All you can do is accommodate her habits of waking at a particular time and eating at a particular time and most of all be patient with her. She will come out of her shell and learn to embrace the situation soon enough; she always usually does." Antoinette continued sincerely with a gentle touch on my shoulder. With a nod of thanks I decided to leave the princess alone for a few days to give her time to settle down into her new home and into her usual routine; hopefully in a few days she will settle down into her new surroundings soon...


	19. Chapter 18

**Another chapter :) I don't own anything Phantom-related as you all know :) Thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites guys :) It makes this little hobby of mine worthwhile :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Eighteen: Is There Music in your Head? Have you Followed Where it Led?**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~October 1st 1907~**

It has been a month since the betrothal was announced and Erik's father died. The funeral was a beautiful affair where Erik sung a song in memory of his father called 'Music of the Night'. However once the service was over I slipped away silently as I knew I would get a lot of questions from the people who attended the service; how do you know Erik's father? How did he die? Why were you invited? Are you and Erik together? And so on and so fourth. Also I didn't really know anyone at the service apart from Erik, Nadir and Antoinette who also attended the service with me. Throughout the service I kept my emotions in check and only allowed myself to cry when I reached the castle and locked myself away in my room. I always had to be strong in front of my father and he believed crying was a sign of weakness; also Charles was almost like the father figure I wished I had in my life and I wished I was able to spend more time with him before he died. As I lay on my bed and cried I wondered what will happen next since Erik's father wasn't around and there was a betrothal between Erik and me.

"Caroline...are you in there? Please come out and talk to me. We shouldn't hide anything from each other now we are to be married."

"There is nothing to talk about." I replied emotionlessly as I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked out of the window; I wouldn't let him see me cry or show any emotions that make me look weak. I can't look weak when my father is watching over me; not proud of the daughter I have become. But why did he agree to the betrothal? I understand the fact my father always considered me as odd but why betroth me to a man who was handsome once before the fire that disfigured him? But apparently the betrothal was arranged after he became disfigured so why am I so upset about the arrangement? Was it because I disliked change or was there something more?

"Caroline please I know you're in there. Talk to me please." He once again pleaded from the other side of the door; I didn't respond and that's when I heard his footsteps leave. I guess he was giving up on trying to reach me; however I heard the unmistakeable noise of a key turning in the lock a few moments later. I looked up from my place at the window to see Erik in front of me.

"Thank you Antoinette; you can go about your business now." He said gently and with that she left out of the door after looking at me with an emotion in her eyes I couldn't quite identify.

"Caroline please; before you say anything just hear me out. I swear to you I didn't know anything about the betrothal until the day my father died. But you know I love you very much and would do anything to protect you no matter what. But I saw you walk out after the service today; what happened?" He said gently with his hands in front of him in a gesture of submission and surrender.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything; I just felt so overwhelmed. I didn't really know anyone there and it overwhelmed me a little. I just needed to get away before the questions started; I was afraid of answering in case I said something wrong or offensive." I replied quietly and I looked down at my feet meekly whilst wringing my hands a little.

"I understand; promise me that if you ever have a problem that we talk about it. We are meant to be together and so we shouldn't hide any secrets from each other anymore." And he took hold of my face gently before kissing me passionately on the lips to which I reciprocated immediately. But suddenly I pulled away and I wasn't sure why.

"What's wrong Caroline?" He asked gently as he stroked my cheek causing me to close my eyes in rapture and lean into his hand a little.

"We shouldn't be doing this; not until we're married." I said quietly as I broke out of my stupor and looked down at my feet once again.

"I don't care what your tutor has said or what society dictates; I love you and you deserve to be shown this fact every day." He replied passionately.

"No I don't; you don't know everything about me." I replied seething and with that I left the room with angry tears flowing down my cheeks; what did he know about me? He knew nothing about me and my quirks at all; the quirks my father hated and thus caused a rift to form between us. I found myself in the stables and without saddling up Gris I rode out of the castle without looking back; at that moment I didn't care about how worried anyone would be. As I rode my frustrations away I thought about the betrothal and about my relationship with Erik. But did I really have a relationship with him to begin with or was it was premeditated by what society dictates for the both of us? I stopped the horse suddenly and panicked when I realised where I was exactly; once again I found myself in the De Chagny lands; but how did I end up here once again?

"It's ok Gris; there's no-one here. We'll just ride out and no-one will even realise we have been here." I whispered to reassure Gris gently; however she continued to stamp her feet a little and look around nervously with her ears flicking around continuously. I went to lead her away when a voice echoed around me.

"Ah princess we meet again; I see that freak isn't around to save you this time." The voice drawled sarcastically.

"I won't let you take me away so easily monsieur." I said slowly without even looking at him and with a whip of the reins I rode towards him. I heard a thump behind me but I kept on riding without looking back. But why did he come after me once again? Was it because of the betrothal or was he being the way he was just because he wanted my kingdom? I got back to the kingdom and after feeding Gris an apple from a nearby bucket I stroked her mane as I contemplated the encounter I just had with the mysterious blonde man; who was he? Why was he after me so much?

"Where have you been Caroline I was so worried about you?!" A voice asked quickly with what sounded like anger lacing their voice.

"I went for a ride to clear my head; I bet you do that too sometimes." I replied evenly as I looked at him with no emotion.

"You could have been captured or worse." He said gently as he tried to take hold of my hands. However I pulled them away at the last possible moment which caused a sadness to pass through his eyes for a moment.

"Now if you excuse me I need to be alone for a while." And before Erik had time to respond I left the room without looking back. Once I arrived in my room I locked the door and immediately picked up my violin. Without a thought I started to play through the notes the feelings of confusion and betrayal I was experiencing. At that moment I didn't care how discordant they sounded; as long as I was allowed to vent it all out. As I played the lyrics just came out.

 _Have you ever yearned to go  
Past the world you think you know?  
Been enthralled to the call  
Of the beauty underneath?_

 _Have you let it draw you in  
Past the place where dreams begin?  
Felt the full breathless pull  
Of the beauty underneath?_

 _When the dark unfolds its wings  
Do you sense the strangest things?  
Things no one would ever guess  
Things mere words cannot express?_

 _Yes_

 _Do you find yourself beguiled  
By the dangerous and wild?  
Do you feed on the need  
For the beauty underneath?_

 _Have you felt your senses surge  
And surrendered to the urge?  
Have been hooked as you looked at the  
At the beauty underneath?_

 _When you stare behind the night  
Can you glimpse its primal might?  
Might you hunger to possess  
Hunger that you can't repress?_

 _Yes  
It seems so beautiful  
So strange yet beautiful  
Everything's just as you say_

 _And he's so beautiful  
Perhaps too beautiful  
What I suspect cannot be  
And yet somehow, we both see  
The very same way_

 _Is there music in your head  
Have you followed where it led?  
And been graced with a taste  
Of the beauty underneath?_

 _Does it fill your every sense  
Is it terribly intense?  
Tell me you need it too  
Need the beauty underneath_

 _When it lifts its voice and sings  
Don't you feel amazing things?  
Things you know you can't confess  
Things you thirst for nonetheless_

 _It all so beautiful  
Can it be?  
Almost too beautiful  
Do you see what I see?  
(Heavenly)_

 _To him it's beautiful  
My world is beautiful  
How can this be what it seems?  
All of my most secret dreams  
Somehow set free_

 _You can feel it  
(Yes)  
Come closer  
(Yes)  
You've no fear of the beauty underneath_

 _You can face it  
(Yes)  
You can take it  
(Yes)  
You see through to the beauty underneath_

 _To the splendour  
(And the splendour)  
And the glory  
(Glory)  
To the truth of the beauty underneath  
(The beauty underneath)_

 _You'll accept it  
(Yes)  
You'll embrace it  
(Yes)  
Let me show you the beauty underneath_

 _To the splendour  
(Splendour)  
And the glory  
(And the glory)  
To the truth of the beauty underneath  
(The beauty underneath)_

 _You'll accept it  
(Yes)  
You'll embrace it  
(Yes)  
Let me show you the beauty under-_

"That was beautiful Caroline. Did you just compose it?" A voice asked and I looked up stonily to see Erik in front of me.

"What are you doing here? I thought I locked the door." I replied stoically.

"You did; but I was worried about your safety so got Antoinette to open it once again. When are we going to talk about this though?" He replied.

"Don't you know it is rude to enter a woman's room without permission first? Basic rule of etiquette." I said matter of factly as I placed my violin down on a nearby table carefully.

"Please; if there is anything I can do to make your time here more comfortable let me know and I will grant it. But know that the situation is inevitable. The wedding is to occur soon and we will have to be together." He said gently and I looked at him with trepidation; I knew that once the wedding was done the wedding night would inevitably follow. But I haven't had this discussion with anyone let alone my mother or my aunt. What was I suppose to do? What were to happen if I am not up to his standard? Was I even ready to have children even though society dictates it so?

"When is the wedding to occur exactly?" I asked curiously as I wasn't told about when this was to occur and I haven't been involved in any of the planning.

"Two weeks from today. Don't worry; everything is being taken care of. You won't have to worry about a detail at all; unless there is anything you would like included in the wedding." He replied. Two weeks...I can't believe I am to be married to a man I really don't know and only found out about my betrothal to a month ago.

"Actually; there is one request I would like to make." I said meekly.

"What would that request be Caroline?" He asked curiously.

"I would like to carry a single red rose; tied off with a black ribbon. It's what my mother had as her bouquet when she got married to my father. I would like to honour her memory by having that as my bouquet too." I replied wistfully as I remembered the wedding pictures I saw.

"If that is what the princess wishes I will grant it." He said and for a little while I smiled before hiding it once more beneath the stony facade I always adopt.

As we ate dinner we discussed all of the details of the wedding since I wasn't really involved in the planning stages before.

"So I sent the designs of the dress you will be wearing when getting married; I know it is usually considered bad luck but I don't really take superstitions that seriously." Erik explained. I wonder what my dress will look like. What colour is it? Will I be wearing a veil? I guess all these questions running through my head show how out of touch I am when it comes to the world and current fashion trends.

"You won't find out what the dress looks like until the day of the wedding; it's a surprise." A voice said and I looked at him quietly for a moment; how did he know what I was thinking at that moment? Once the meal was finished I decided to take a walk around the gardens to clear my head; hoping I could have answers to the questions running through my head...


	20. Chapter 19

**Another chapter :) Thanks for the reviews and everything in between :) As you know I don't own any of the characters or lyrics from Phantom. I'll be going to Venice on the 7th so I might not be able to post another chapter but I'll try my best if I get reviews wanting more Caroline and Erik love :) On with the show :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Nineteen: One Love, One Lifetime...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~October 15th 1907~**

It was the morning of the wedding and I found myself pacing the room as I fiddled with my cravat. But why was I so nervous though? I loved and cared about the princess so why was I worried about marrying her so? Also I guess it was our destiny to be together and so I shouldn't be worried about the impending marriage at all. Once my cravat was tied I smoothed down the invisible wrinkles in my tuxedo before proceeding to the door. When I left the room I saw Nadir in front of me.

"Ah Prince Destler; you're ready. The carriage is waiting for you outside your highness." He said with a small bow and with that I followed him down the corridor towards the front entrance. Once I boarded the carriage it drove away from the castle and I looked out of the window as I was being led to my fate where my life will change forever.

"Why so nervous your highness? You love her don't you?" A voice asked.

"I do; I care about her more than life itself."

"And she loves you too doesn't she?" He continued.

"She does. But I am worried that this marriage is now built on the dictations of society rather than love." I replied as I continued to look out of the window. We eventually arrived at the church and I saw all of the guests assembled outside. However, Antoinette was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Antoinette?" I asked curiously.

"She's getting the princess ready. They should be here any moment now. On that note I better meet with the princess as I'll be walking her down the aisle; since her father is no longer around." Nadir replied matter of factly and with that he gave me a pat on the shoulder before making his way towards the church. I then decided to walk into the church to stand in the spot where I was needed; this allowed me to see the decor for the first time. I decided to go with a simple decor as I didn't want the wedding to be too grand an event as the princess enjoys the simple things in life. I was stopped from perusing by the music beginning to play; causing me to slowly turn around and look towards the doorway. What I saw next caused my heart to skip a beat and a breath to get caught in my throat; I watched as Caroline came up the aisle and gliding down it like an angel. I was broken out of my stupor by her hand being placed in mine. As the priest said the vows to Caroline I was lost to the world as I looked at the woman I was to marry.

"Do you Caroline Bellerose take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I Caroline Bellerose vow to share one love, one lifetime with Erik Destler, I vow to say the word and follow him and to share each day with him, each night, each morning." To which I was broken out of my stupor.

"Do you Erik Destler take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I Erik Destler vow to share one love, one lifetime with Caroline Bellerose, I vow to say the word and follow her and to share each day with her, each night, each morning." I said as I stared into her eyes.

"May we have the rings please?" I heard the priest ask and I saw Nadir step forward with the rings on a small red cushion.

"With this ring I thee wed." I said as I slipped the gold band with red roses and engraving on the inside on Caroline's finger.

"With this ring I thee wed." She said in response as she slipped the simple gold band onto my finger.

"You may now kiss the bride." And I stared at her for a moment where she looked up at me with love in her eyes. I took hold of her face gently before kissing her gently on the lips; I smiled a little into the kiss when she reciprocated and smiled into the kiss as well. We then walked out of the church hand in hand as we made our way to the carriage which was to take us to the reception. When we arrived I climbed out of the carriage before helping Caroline out of the carriage as well.

"Shall we go inside mon ange?" I asked as I held out an elbow for her to take.

"We shall my husband." She said with a smile as she took my elbow gently before I led her inside. As the announcer announced our names I heard music being played; the music I composed for our first dance. As the music played and we danced slowly around the floor Caroline asked curiously.

"This is beautiful; what's it called?"

"I composed it myself; it's called Love Never Dies. This is the instrumental backing track; I have in fact written lyrics to it too. I should share them with you some time."

"I'd like that very much darling." She replied as I twirled her around a little. When the song finished I watched as the other guests walked on the dance floor and started to dance.

"Would you like something to drink? We should be cutting the cake soon."

"Yes please, I'd like that very much." She replied and so I went towards the table laden with all different drinks of alcoholic and non-alcoholic varieties. I picked up a glass of champagne for myself and a glass of orange juice for Caroline as I wasn't too sure of her drinking preferences yet.

"Here's your drink darling." I said when I got back to her.

"Thank you. How did you know I don't really drink?" She asked curiously as she took a sip of her drink.

"Husband's intuition." I replied cryptically as I saw Nadir tapping on the side of his glass.

"Before the bride and groom cut the cake this evening I would like to share a toast rather than go into a long winded speech which I don't think Erik would appreciate. To love and friendship." And he raised his glass as everyone in the room done so as well. I then led Caroline over to the table where the cake was residing; we proceeded to pick up the knife beside the cake with an engraved ebony handle together before cutting the first slice. After cutting the rest of the cake into even slices I picked up a plate and gave a small piece to Caroline; I was then surprised when she in turn fed me a piece too. Once we finished our slice I gave Caroline another drink to which she sipped it gently once again. As she sipped her drink I got out my pocket watch to see it was really late in the evening; I then saw out of the corner of my eye Caroline trying to suppress a yawn.

"You're tired; I think it's time you went to bed." I said gently as I took her glass gently from her hands even though it was only half finished.

"But I am not tired." She whined as she tried to take her glass back.

"No, you're tired and you need to sleep. Come I'll take you to bed." And I tried to take her hand gently to lead her to our room; however I noticed she wasn't budging.

"Caroline; you're tired you need to rest." And that's when I noticed the fact she was shaking.

"You're shaking; here take my jacket you must be cold." As I placed my jacket over her shoulders a little before once again trying to lead her away. As I finally managed to lead her out of the room; that was now mostly empty except for a few guests I noticed her still shaking even though she was covered in my jacket.

"Please Caroline talk to me; what are you so afraid of?" I asked curiously as I placed a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"What is about to occur when we go to bed tonight." She replied quietly as I saw fear in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me you were scared about what the wedding night entailed? There is nothing to be ashamed of but if you don't want to go any further then we don't have to. If you want we can just sleep beside each other or we can stay on separate sides of the bed; whichever option pleases you princess. I vow to do everything in my power to make you happy." I replied passionately as I stopped in the corridor for a moment before taking hold of her hands gently and looking her in the eye.

"I want you to sleep beside me; I feel safe when you are near." She replied quietly and I watched as she made our way towards our room. I followed closely behind her and when we reached our room I closed the door behind us.

"Why don't you get ready for bed in the adjoining bathroom whilst I get myself changed?" I asked gently and I touched her on the shoulder to which she nodded in agreement. After she picked up her pile of nightwear she went into the bathroom. Once the door shut behind her I was finally able to take the mask off as I could tell it was starting to irritate the delicate skin underneath. I then stared at the marred visage in the mirror and it made me think about the princess; why did she marry me? Was it because it was expected of her or was it because she genuinely wanted to be with me? However I was so lost to the world that I didn't notice anyone come into the room until I saw her reflection in the mirror. But I didn't cover my face quick enough as her eyes widened a little and I waited for the moment when she would run in fear of the monster I had become...


	21. Chapter 20

**I am on a roll with this one :) Another chapter to keep you guys entertained until I go to Venice on Monday :) As you know I own nothing from Phantom but I own my own character :) And yes I have referred partly to the original Leroux novel :) Go me :) Thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites so far and on with the show :D**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty: Feast your Eyes and Glut your Soul...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~October 15th 1907~**

Once I got into the bathroom and ran the water I realised the fact I would need some help getting out of my dress due to the corset in the back. I left out of the bathroom to see Erik sitting at the vanity looking into the mirror; that was when I saw his deformity fully for the first time. I felt my eyes widen a little in shock as I looked at it curiously; it looked like a burn but it only covered half of his face. The right side of his face was flawless and looked so handsome; however the left hand side was disfigured with redness and some skin that looked slightly chafed and irritated. But I couldn't look anymore as he covered it with his hand before getting up from the chair and looked at me with fire in his eyes.

"Why are you not screaming girl?! Feast your eyes and glut your soul on my accursed ugliness; even my father could never bring himself to truly love me as his son. He only saw me as a demon and a monster; the demon who stole his one true love away from him on that fateful night that changed my life." He suddenly yelled in reply as he got up and approached me quickly with his eyes glowing angrily causing me to back away slowly.

"Please don't hurt me." I pleaded as I found myself backed into a nearby wall. However he seemed lost to the world so I tried to make my escape into the nearby bathroom; but it proved futile as Erik grabbed me harshly around the wrist before pulling me closer to his face.

"How dare you run from me girl? You are my wife and we are to be together; until death do us part." He said coldly.

"Let me go please; you're hurting me." I pleaded tearfully as the fear began rising in me and I feared of what he might do to me.

"Not until you look at me without fear in your eyes; I can tell you fear me and my face but you will have to live with this for the rest of your life." He said coldly as the grip on my wrist tightened a little causing me to struggle hard in his grasp. Why was he being so harsh towards me? I thought he cared for me and that's why he didn't mind the arrangement so much but I guess I was wrong. I then decided to use a self defence manoeuvre that I learnt to use over the years; I usually used it when I really wanted someone to leave me alone. I opened my mouth and screamed as loud as I could until it became unbearable for Erik; he let go of my wrist and covered his ears a moment later and I ran into the bathroom before barricading myself inside. But I panicked when I could hear him banging hard on the door and shouting for me to come out.

"Come out of there or I will break down the door!" He yelled and I backed away from the door hoping he would stop what he was doing. However as soon as the banging started it stopped and a silence descended the air that you could cut with a knife. But what stopped him from banging down the door; did he come to his senses or did someone prevent him from doing so? I listened intently for a moment and I heard two voices I recognised well coming from the other side of the door.

"What are you doing Erik?!" Nadir asked demandingly.

"Can't you see you've probably scared the princess away from you?" Antoinette continued harshly.

"She saw my face; no-one is supposed to see my face and live to tell the tale!" What was that comment supposed to mean? How many people have died by his hands just because they have seen his face? Did that mean he would have killed me too until Antoinette and Nadir stepped in?

"Erik; I want you to take a walk or a ride for ten minutes until you have calmed down then I demand you apologise to the princess. That is if she will even speak to you after what you've done." Nadir said slowly and a moment later I heard the door shut; did that mean it was safe to come out? I tensed however when there was a knock on the door.

"Caroline? Are you in there? It's ok you can come out; you're safe now he can't harm you." I heard Antoinette say gently and with that I slowly opened the door; ready to close it the moment I felt threatened once again.

"Where's Erik?" I asked curiously.

"He's gone for a ride or a walk to calm down. That should give you enough time to get out of your dress and ready for bed." Nadir explained and with a nod towards me he left the room.

"Goodnight Nadir. Thank you for your help this evening." I called out as he walked towards the door.

"No trouble at all; I live to serve and protect you princess." He said and he left out of the door.

"Now let's get you out of this dress shall we? I think a bath will calm your nerves and relax you ready for bed." Antoinette said soothingly and with that I nodded before turning around to show her the back of my dress. As she untied the dress I thought back to Erik and his face; why did he hide it from me? I know it is not the most handsome face in the world but his face didn't frighten me; it was his temper that frightened me and I was afraid of my safety when I was with him. When I could finally breathe I stepped into the bath and breathed a sigh as the water washed away the aches and pains from the day.

"I'll put this dress away and leave you alone to have your bath. I'll also leave your nightgown here to change into before you go to bed."

"Thank you Antoinette." I said quietly and with that I lay back in the bath and closed my eyes a little. However I found myself so relaxed I didn't notice anyone come in until I felt a hand on my shoulder causing me to look up to see who it was. I tensed and sunk lower into the water when I saw Erik standing over me.

"Please darling, hear me out. I'm sorry if I scared you earlier; it's just I have always been overprotective about my face and mask. People normally react strongly about my face and so I just presumed you were afraid of my face rather than my temper. Please say you forgive me; I could not live with myself if you come to hate me because of a misunderstanding." He pleaded and he knelt down beside the bathtub and took hold of my hands gently in his larger ones.

"I don't know; you scared me. I was afraid you would hurt me in your anger. I also heard you talking to Antoinette and Nadir; you said no-one is supposed to live to tell the tale once they have seen your face. How many people have died by your hand after they have seen your face? Please I want the truth; no more secrets between us." I pleaded beseechingly.

"No-one has died by my hand; but my temper tends to get the best of me and I say things that I shouldn't say or something I might regret later. I didn't mean to scare you darling. But I promise you this; I would never hurt you and I vow to protect you no matter what." He replied. Even though I couldn't tell by looking in his eyes; somehow I could tell he was telling me the truth. I guess everyone tends to lose themselves when they are angry at someone.

"I'll forgive you this once; but promise me we will talk about our problems rather than hide them." I said gently and I stroked his knuckles as a sign of reassurance of my feelings towards him.

"I promise; do you need help with anything darling?" He asked curiously.

"Could you do my back for me? And help me with my hair please?" I replied politely and I leaned forward a little to allow him to reach my back with the sponge and soap.

"I've finished your back; could you lean back so I can do your hair darling?" He asked and with that I leaned back. As he massaged the soap into my scalp I closed my eyes and gave a little sigh of contentment.

"Are you enjoying that darling?" A voice asked teasingly and I nodded in agreement as he continued his ministrations on my hair. Once he was done he held out my towel for me and I stepped out of the bath before he wrapped it snugly around my body.

"I'll leave you to change into your nightgown; I'll see you in a moment." He said gently and so I proceeded to dry off my body before slipping the nightgown on over my head. I stepped out of the bathroom to see Erik sitting up in bed as if waiting for me to join him; but was he expecting me to carry out the duties as a wife or was he just waiting for me to join him?

"Are you ok darling? You've gone pale." He asked soothingly as he got up before gliding towards me with something akin to concern in his eyes.

"What do you expect from me?" I asked quietly as I began to feel a little lightheaded.

"I don't expect anything from you darling; if you don't want to proceed any further you don't have to." He said reassuringly as he reached out a hand to touch me. However I must have misinterpreted his actions as the darkness consumed me and I fell to the floor...


	22. Chapter 21

**Another chapter :) As you know I don't own Phantom but I do own my character Caroline :) On with the show guys :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty One: No-One is Alone...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~October 16th 1907~**

I had remained by the princess' side the entire night after she fainted; did she think she had to consummate the marriage? Was that why she fainted as she felt like she couldn't handle the situation? I just hope she can come to trust me and the fact I won't force her to consummate the marriage until she is ready and willing. As I held onto her hand I thought I felt movement and I looked down to see her eyelashes fluttering open and I was able to see the beautiful brown eyes I had come to love.

"Caroline; are you ok? You fainted and slept most of the day." I asked gently as she looked around confusingly for a moment.

"How long have I been unconscious for?" She asked and I took my pocket watch out to look at the time.

"You've been asleep around about twelve hours. You have missed breakfast, lunch and dinner in fact. Are you hungry at all?"

"No I am fine thank you." She replied quietly but her stomach decided at that time to protest.

"You need to eat; you haven't eaten since the reception yesterday and I think your stomach says differently." I explained gently and so I rung the small bell beside the bed which would summon one of my maids to the room. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door which I answered immediately.

"Good morning Marie. Could you bring up a tray of food for the both of us please? Please make sure the princess is well fed since she slept for so long." And with a small curtsy she left down the corridor.

"Do you want anything else? Say a book or your composition book perhaps?" I asked curiously as we waited for the food to turn up.

"No I am good thank you." She replied quietly as she stayed sat up in bed.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked gently as I sat down on the bed beside her.

"Yes thank you; you were sitting beside me the entire night weren't you?" She replied quietly as she looked at me with curiosity in her eyes.

"I was; how could you tell?" I asked curiously.

"I'm not sure how to explain it exactly; it was like I could sense your presence beside me. It made me feel safe to know you were beside me and looking out for me when I was unconscious. I'm sorry about worrying you excessively." She replied and I saw her looking up towards the door; I followed her line of sight to hear a knock at the door.

"I'll answer that; you stay in bed darling." I explained gently as I went up to get the door; but how did Caroline know the maid had arrived at our door? Maybe I'll ask her about that at a more suitable time.

"Thank you Marie. You may go about your business." I said to her as I took the tray from her before bringing it towards the bed.

"Here you go; eat as much as you like." I said gently as I placed it down in front of her.

"This is too much; this could feed an army. Are you trying to fatten me up?" She asked quietly with what sounded like a teasing tone to it.

"Whatever gave you that idea darling?" I asked teasingly with a small wink.

"You must be as you are giving me so much food that would otherwise feed an army." She replied matter of factly before taking a mouthful of food. Soon enough she finished but there was still about three quarters of the food left.

"Have you had enough mon ange?" I asked gently and she nodded in agreement to which I took the tray off of her.

"Aren't you eating anything?" She asked curiously.

"I've already eaten." I replied quickly hoping she would change the subject.

"I understand you are worried about people seeing you with the mask off when you eat; but I don't mind seeing your face. Your face doesn't frighten me; it's your temper." She said soothingly as she took hold of my hand that was still holding the tray. With those words ringing through my ears I placed the tray down before proceeding to eat some of the food in front of me to which Caroline are some of it too.

"I thought you had enough darling." I commented teasingly.

"I wanted to eat with you; I see I managed to do that. You never eat around me and I understand why; but you don't need to hide from me anymore." She said as she touched my scarred cheek gently.

"Thank you." I said quietly as I placed my hand over hers.

"For what darling?" She asked as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"For seeing the beauty underneath where no-one else could." I replied as I looked at her with a smile.

"Are you full now mon ange?" I asked as I noticed she hadn't touched the food for a while.

"Yes thank you." And so after picking up the tray I placed it on the bedside table gently.

"I'll call a maid to get you ready whilst I handle some affairs of state." I explained before ringing the bell once again.

"Ah Marie; could you get the princess ready for the day please. Once finished you can find me in the study." I said before leaving out of the door. I reached the study and started looking through the paperwork I needed to sign as well as open any mail correspondence I have received recently. As I finished signing the last letter there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said as I looked up from my finished pile of paperwork.

"The princess is here as you requested your highness." Marie said formally with a small curtsy as she led the princess into the room.

"What would you like to do today?" I asked curiously as I put down my pen before turning around to look at her.

"I'm not sure; although the weather is lovely today." She replied quietly as she looked out of the window.

"Would you like to go for a ride in the woods? Maybe we can pack a picnic and eat it at my favourite place with the waterfall." I replied.

"I'd like that." She replied quietly and she turned around towards me with a smile on her face.

"Why don't you get into something more suitable for riding whilst I saddle up the horses?" I asked gently and with a small nod she left the room; I proceeded to get up from my seat before making my way to the stables where Stefan was cleaning out the stables.

"Morning Stefan; could you saddle up Gris for me whilst I saddle up Caesar." I explained and with a small bow he proceeded to place the saddle on Gris. Once I finished I saw the princess coming towards me with a pair of black riding trousers on, tall black boots, a white ruffled shirt and red jacket. She then mounted her horse which was waiting patiently by the door and I followed suit by mounting Caesar with a confident swing of my leg. I then remembered the fact we hadn't got a picnic organised yet.

"Stefan; could you retrieve some bread, cheese, cold meat and fruit from the kitchen and place it inside a saddle bag please?" I asked quickly and I watched as he quickly ran towards the castle. He then came back a moment later with a saddle bag in hand.

"Thank you." I said gently.

"Have a nice ride your highness." He said with a bow and with a flick of the reins I set Caesar into the rhythm of a fast gallop with Caroline following close behind. As we rode with the wind in our hair I thought back to what happened the night before. Was she really that afraid of what the wedding night entailed or afraid of something more? I guess Antoinette or her mother never talked to her about what the wedding night entails exactly. But I just hope she will come to understand the fact that I would never force her to do anything until she is ready. We arrived at our destination and after stepping down from my horse I helped Caroline down from hers. I then took off the saddle bag from Caesar's back along with a blanket before carrying them over to where the lake was. Once I placed down the blanket I laid out the food in the centre of it. I looked up from the blanket to see Caroline staring out over the lake; it appears she enjoys watching the birds as much as I do.

"Do you want something to eat Caroline?" I asked gently and she turned around with a smile before proceeding to walk over towards the blanket. She then sat herself down before helping herself to a sandwich.

"So how does it feel to be a princess; soon to be queen and a wife?" I asked curiously.

"It feels strange." She replied quietly.

"Why is that darling?" I asked curiously as my brows furrowed a little.

"All through my life I was told I was too quirky and wasn't what my father envisaged as the ideal ruler. I never thought I would see the day when I meet someone who loves me for who I am." She replied wistfully as she looked out over the lake.

"I wish I was there to tell you everyday how special you are and how there is a person out in the world who loves you. No-one is alone darling." I said gently as I took hold of her hand causing her to smile a little. I took hold of the side of her head gently before kissing her on the lips as a sign of reassurance rather than a sign of desire. When we finally pulled away for air I noticed the fact that the sun was low in the sky and the sky was changing to oranges, reds and purples.

"I think we should proceed back to the castle; it's starting to get dark and I think people will start looking for us if we don't return soon." I explained gently as I started packing things back into the saddle bag to which Caroline's face fell a little.

"We can do this again tomorrow; that is if that's what the princess wishes." I said as I mounted Caesar.

"I'd like that." She replied quietly before mounting her own horse. Once we got back to the castle I took the horses into the stable whilst Caroline changed into something more comfortable before dinner. As we ate dinner I noticed Caroline was quiet throughout the entire meal; earlier she seemed so happy when we were at the waterfall until I mentioned the prospect of returning to the castle. Was the prospect of returning that detestable to her? Did she detest my company in truth and she just put up a facade for everyone else to see? Maybe over dinner or this evening I'll try to find out more about my new wife and see why she doesn't like returning to the castle very much.

"So what would you like to do tomorrow? Would you like to compose? Create a dress perhaps? Walk in the gardens? Or take a ride around the kingdom and visit the nearby village?" I asked gently as we ate our dinner in quiet contemplation.

"I'd like to explore the extent of the kingdom; know what I have got myself in for exactly." She replied quietly.

"That is what we will do tomorrow then my dear." Once our dinner was finished we decided to turn in for the night.

"Why don't you get yourself ready for bed whilst I take care of a few things? I'll join you in a moment." I said gently and I watched as she went into the adjoining bathroom before I proceeded to get into my pyjamas. Once she left the bathroom I brushed my teeth as I heard her through the closed door walking around the room and getting herself ready for bed. However as I rinsed out my mouth and put on my mask I heard a small voice calling out my name.

"Is everything ok out there Caroline?" I asked gently as I exited out of the bathroom with the mask firmly in place.

"I can't get to the ties in the back; will you loosen them for me?" She asked meekly as she showed me her back.

"Why didn't you ask for help earlier darling?" I asked as I loosened the laces.

"I was afraid of what might happen; what you might expect of me if I asked. So I tried to do it on my own; but as you can see I failed to do so." She replied quietly and I sighed sadly a little.

"I love you and remember this dear; whatever happens in life I will always be there to protect you and I will never ask too much of you dear." And I hugged her from behind before allowing her to change into her nightgown. Once I was in bed I waited for her to climb in beside me before switching off the lights. However she turned over before I could reach the candle and her eyes fell upon the mask still on my face; I swear I could see her eyes drop a little in sadness.

"Why do you always wear the mask when you sleep? It must be uncomfortable for you and I love seeing all of you. Promise me you will keep the mask off when you are around me; even if you start off with not wearing it at night." She pleaded and I saw her hand coming towards the mask causing me to instinctively back away a little.

"I'm sorry; I am protective about the mask. Every time it has been taken off it has scared the person away from me; for all eternity. They never wanted anything to do with me after they saw it. I am afraid that will happen to you too if you look." I explained gently as I placed my hand on top of hers and closed my eyes a little.

"I won't leave you; not now not ever." She said gently as she stroked the mask rhythmically and so I removed my hand and allowed her to remove it. Once I felt the air hit my face I allowed the tears to fall when she kissed me gently on the cheek. I smiled and looked down at her when she snuggled into my chest and closed her eyes. I could feel the vibrations from her rhythmic breathing as sleep took over.

"Goodnight mon ange." I whispered as I stroked her hair before allowing sleep to take over me as well...


	23. Chapter 22

**And finally the next chapter is here guys :) Sorry about the wait :/ Damn writer's block :/ I think you know the drill by now :) I don't own anything but Charlene and my idea :) Any lyrics you recognise and any Phantom related stuff is not mine :/ On with the show and reviews are welcome :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty Two: I Could Do So Much More, So Much More...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~December 15th 1907~**

It had been two months since the wedding and we still had yet to consummate the marriage; however we have formed a comfortable routine where we have a good balance of work and play. There were times however when I had to deal with matters of state whilst Caroline kept herself entertained; it frustrated me to no end that society deems Caroline unsuitable for certain tasks just because she is a woman. Or is it something else that makes society deem her unsuitable for tasks? Do they see her quirks as something to be discriminated and demeaned rather than embraced? I wonder how Caroline feels about all this. Maybe I should ask her some time if she would like to join me when I handle affairs of state. As I continued to sign forms and think up of new laws to help better the world; I caught a glimpse of the calendar and realised it was coming up to the Christmas celebrations in a little over a week. The celebration use to bring me pain and heartache as my father didn't enjoy celebrating the holiday with me without mother around; but now I had someone I cared about joining me so I should be looking forward to it right? But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to look forward to the event. Could it be because the last time I spent Christmas with my father was actually wonderful and now I can no longer share the holiday with him? However my musing was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door.

"Enter." I said without looking up from my desk.

"Erik; are you coming down for dinner darling? It's late and you've been working all day." A small voice asked and I looked up to see Caroline standing in the doorway with big pleading eyes.

"I'm sorry mon ange; I'll join you for dinner. I guess I lost track of time; I hope you were able to keep yourself sufficiently entertained whilst I was working." I said sincerely as I got up from the chair before offering my arm for her to take. Once she took my arm we went towards the dining room where two plates were waiting for us. As we sat and ate in quiet contemplation my thoughts kept drifting to the impending Christmas celebrations and the gift I was to present to Caroline. I bought her a necklace and matching pair of earrings in a beautiful dark sapphire to match her birthstone; hopefully she will like the present I have got her. I also sent word to Nadir and Antoinette so they could be there for the celebrations too since they are considered family to both Caroline and I.

"I was thinking of inviting Antoinette and Nadir over for Christmas; is there anyone else you would like to invite?" I asked curiously as I wanted to include her in the conversation and the Christmas plans. However instead of replying she just shook her head a little. Why was she so quiet today? Was it something I said or was she hiding something? Maybe she didn't make many friends during all the events she hosted for birthdays and other things and that's why she had no-one else to invite. But why did she find it so hard to socialise? She is such a lovely woman and such a joy to be around; yet whenever I saw her at events she seemed to be distant and wanting to leave the room as quickly as possible. Maybe I should invite some people I feel comfortable to be around and see how she interacts with them; but who do I feel comfortable with? Apart from Nadir and Antoinette I can't think of anyone else I feel comfortable with. And do I really want to invite lots of people or would I rather this be a family affair instead? I then noticed the fact Caroline had finished and was sitting there quietly looking in my direction where my plate was still half full.

"I'm sorry my dear; I didn't intend to ignore you. My thoughts were wondering I guess; I was thinking about who to invite to the Christmas celebrations. I think I will keep this to a family affair; you'd like that wouldn't you darling?" I replied gently before finishing my meal.

"I'd like that very much. Just Antoinette, Nadir, you and I for Christmas; I think that would be nice. To be like a family once again; the family I never had as a child." She replied sadly as she looked out of the window wistfully.

"You have a family now and I promise you I will never leave you; not ever. And I will always be there to protect you; no matter what happens." I cooed as I took hold of her hand and rubbed her knuckles gently.

"But what happens if the De Chagny family come after us? To finish what they started? I escaped their clutches once already but they are probably bent on revenge after I escaped death once already; they will keep pursuing me until I am no longer living and they can take over the kingdom. They might even hurt you to seize the kingdom. They are all about power and gaining it; even if it means resorting to murder to do so." She said pleadingly as tears fell heavily down her cheeks.

"I promise you this; no matter who stands in my way or what happens. I'll be here to protect you; until I have no breath in my body or until a bullet or sword stops me." I said passionately; kissing her hard on the lips to prove my point; and to show how much I loved her.

"Would you like to spend some time composing before going to bed?" I asked gently as I wiped the last remnants of tears from her cheeks.

"I'd like that; I have some melodies running through my head that I need to write down." And with that I held out my arm before leading her towards the music room. Once we reached the music room I watched as she picked up her violin before allowing the music to echo around the room. I watched in awe as she wove this spell through me and once the song was finished I watched as she quickly wrote it down on a piece of paper. How did she manage to remember every note she played? Normally when I compose I have to stop and write every so often when the notes come to me.

"How did you do that?" I asked curiously.

"Do what darling?" She asked with her brows furrowing slightly.

"Write down the notes without having to stop and write every so often; I always have to do that when I compose." I replied quickly.

"I don't know to be honest; it is a quirk I've always had ever since I was little and was able to compose. I mean I taught myself to compose; I had no-one teach me to compose or to play the violin. I just taught myself since I was about four or five." She replied matter of factly causing my eyes to widen in surprise. I never realised she has been this talented at such a young age and without anyone tutoring her. What else was there that I didn't know about my wife?

"Is there anything else I should know about you?" I asked curiously.

"You will find out; in time." She replied cryptically. What was that suppose to mean exactly? Will she ever tell me more about her or will I have to find out by some other means? Maybe I can see if I can extract any information from Antoinette or Nadir about the princess since she didn't want to tell me more about herself. I then saw Caroline try to suppress a yawn to which I said gently.

"Come; you're tired and you need to rest. We have a big day full of planning and errands to run tomorrow. And you'll be joining me for the day to help."

"But I am not tired." She whined as once again she tried to suppress a yawn.

"Nope; you are tired and don't try to deny it darling." As I led her towards the door in the direction of our room. As we walked towards our room I thought about the fact we had yet to consummate our marriage; will Caroline ever bring herself to trust me or will we remain childless forever and possibly lose the throne due to this? Or could it be that my father was implying that no other woman would love me unless they themselves were different to the rest of society? Once we reached our room I allowed Caroline to use the bathroom whilst I got myself into my pyjamas and after ten minutes or so she came out in her nightgown to which I went in to brush my teeth. Once I was finished I went out of the bathroom to see Caroline peacefully asleep in bed; her chest rising and falling gently. I guess she was really tired and so after gently clambering into bed I tentatively wrapped my arm around her waist to see how she would react to my touch. I smiled a little when she snuggled deeper into my chest and I felt happy about the progress we were starting to make; at least she is starting to trust my touch and not flinch away from me like she did before. Maybe in time she will trust me enough to consummate our marriage; however I'll take things slow as I don't want to scare her away from me too soon into the marriage.

 **~The Next Morning~**

I woke up with the sun on my face and Caroline still sleeping peacefully beside me. After gently getting out of bed to let her sleep a while longer I decided to make her a special breakfast as none of the servants were up yet. About ten minutes later I placed a plate full of French pastries and hot chocolate on a tray and took it upstairs. Once I reached our room I saw Caroline sitting up in bed whilst rubbing her eyes a little.

"Morning Mon Ange I made us breakfast." I said gently as I sat down beside her with the tray still in my hands.

"I didn't know you could cook." She said as she took hold of a pastry gently before delicately taking a bite out of it.

"These are amazing; where did you learn to cook such yummy pastries?"

"I taught myself from books; I remember the first time I tried cooking though I burnt them and nearly burnt down the kitchen in the process." I replied with a small laugh causing her to laugh a little. I noticed she stopped eating and so after taking the tray from her I allowed her to get ready for the day whilst I signed some important papers. As I finished signing the last paper there was a knock at the door to which I got up from my chair to answer it.

"Ah Caroline just the person I was thinking about. We need to run some errands in town and I need your presence and guidance." I explained gently.

"I'll retrieve my cloak and meet you by the front with the carriage." She replied quietly and with a small curtsy she left the room. After tidying my papers I grabbed my cloak and fedora from the coat hook by the door before meeting Caroline downstairs where she was waiting with her red cloak around her shoulders. I held out my arm for her to take before leading her out of the door to the carriage. We sat in contemplative silence as the carriage made its way to town. Once there we would go to the tailors to get some winter dresses and a winter cloak made for her. I also needed some staff paper for my music and my violin needed new strings.

"Is there anything you need from town?" I asked Caroline curiously as she looked out of the window of the carriage; the scenery flashing by before our eyes.

"I need some fabric; I would like to make a dress ready for Christmas celebrations." She replied.

"Will it be ready in time? That only gives you ten days." I asked gently; I didn't want her sleep affected trying to get the dress finished.

"I'll be fine; I've survived on little sleep before to get a project finished. Anyway I already have the pattern ready and the design drawn out; so all I need to do is work on it when we get back from town and sew it together. It won't take me too long to make I think." She replied matter of factly just as we pulled into town. I wonder what she was making for Christmas this year. I think she wore a burgundy number last year so I wonder what colour she will pick this year. I hope she will pick a brighter colour as she always wears such sombre colours. Once we reached the fabric shop I said to her gently.

"Take as long as you need; I need to get some things so I'll leave you in the capable hands of Stefan here. I'll see you soon darling." I said gently and after kissing her gently on the cheek I left out of the door. I know I shouldn't leave her on her own but I was picking up her Christmas present today and of course she couldn't be around when I was doing so. I had commissioned a necklace and earrings set that was of my own design. It consisted of a red rose composed of rubies and leaves composed of emeralds; and it was trailing in nature with a long stem and several flower heads. The earrings consisted of a single red rose with rubies for petals and emeralds for leaves. Both pieces were to be presented in a burgundy velvet box and I think she will love the design very much. I then visited the music store to pick up the things I needed for my composing and my violin. Once I was finished I made my way back to the fabric store to see Caroline paying for her purchases.

"Have you got everything you need?" I asked gently as she picked up the bag from the counter.

"I have indeed. I also bought some fabric for some more winter dresses." She replied as we walked out of the shop.

"I was going to take you to the tailors to get some winter dresses and a new winter cloak done for you. But would you rather make the dresses yourself?" I asked curiously.

"I wouldn't mind getting a hooded velvet cloak made in burgundy by the tailors but I think I would rather make the dresses myself. But thank you for offering darling." She replied gently and she kissed me on the cheek and so we made our way to the tailors. I watched as she stood in the centre of the room whilst her measurements were taken and I could tell she wasn't liking the situation she was in right now. Why did she seem so unhappy right now? Was it because she was encountering a person she had never met before or was it something to do with her past? The past I know nothing about? After her measurements were taken and the fabric was picked out the sales assistant informed us the cloak will be ready in about a week. We left out of the shop and proceeded to walk back to the carriage so we could return to the castle. However we didn't get very far as I realised the princess wasn't following me. I turned around and followed her line of sight to see three men in the centre of the square; they appeared to be harassing a young girl. I could tell she was about to make her way over and try to diffuse the situation and so I stepped in to help before she got hurt.

"How may I be of service to three such fine gentlemen?" I asked smoothly which caused the three men to stop for a moment.

"Stand aside freak; this matter does not concern you." The tallest of the men threatened coldly.

"But you sir are trespassing on my kingdom; so this matter does indeed concern me." I said slowly. Fingering the length of rope that was concealed up my sleeve.

"Why don't you and the pretty lady go about your business? Since this matter doesn't concern either of you." He threatened once again. But before I could stop her Caroline stepped in front of me; her head held high and her arms planted firmly by her sides and looking every inch a queen.

"Technically this matter concerns me also since this is my kingdom. Now step away from her before I banish all three of you from my kingdom." She said stoically.

"I think it best you step away before things get nasty and we teach you how a woman should really behave around men." And I saw a flash of a blade as he brandished a dagger towards the princess; causing her to shrink back in panic.

"Not so tough now are we your highness? Although you're not a queen yet are you? So you hold no power over me!" And I watched as she looked at him defiantly before saying angrily.

"You will listen to me and my husband; step away before I banish you from my kingdom." She said slowly.

"You will rue the day you interfered your highness!" And without a second thought I pulled out my lasso; aiming it at the knife he was bringing down on the princess. I then proceeded to pull it out of his grasp as she fell to her knees in submission. I watched as the knife clattered to the floor and they ran off. With guards following close behind; their swords out of their sheaths.

"I don't think they will be marring this kingdom with their presence for a long time yet." I thought to myself as I put my lasso back up my sleeve. For a moment there was silence as the princess remained on the floor; tears falling heavily down her cheeks.

"Thank you both, your highness for saving my life; I am Meg Giry and I am forever in your debt." She said and with a curtsy she left me to comfort the princess.

"Caroline what were you thinking?! They could have killed you!" I said quickly as I knelt down beside her and embraced her; the tears falling even harder now.

"I could do so much more, so much more!" She yelled suddenly as she pushed me away and her eyes blazed with a fire I couldn't describe.

"And get killed in the process! Whilst I commend you for your bravery; you could have been seriously hurt if I didn't intervene when I did. Now let's get you back to the castle so you can rest; you've had a trying day." And I helped her into the carriage before heading back towards the castle. All the while she sat in silence as she looked out of the window with the tears still falling down her cheeks. Was I wrong to want to protect her so? Should I allow her to do more for herself? Once we got back to the castle she clambered out of the carriage before I had a chance to help her out. I then watched as she got inside and disappeared upstairs; I was about to go after her when a voice said gently.

"I think it best you leave her alone for a while to calm down. She doesn't like people crowding her when she is upset. She'll come around soon enough." And I turned around quickly to see Antoinette in front of me.

"Antoinette; you're early. It's a pleasure to see you again."

"I saw my daughter today and she informed me what happened; thank you for saving her. She's all I have left of my late husband."

"I'll leave her to calm down; maybe I'll try talking to her later. See what she meant when she said what she said today." I replied and so I went to my music room to compose; maybe I could draw her out by playing a piece of music she particularly enjoys.

However several hours passed and there was no sign of the princess; I just hoped that all of the work I put into gaining her trust hasn't been ruined by what happened today...


	24. Chapter 23

**Hi guys sorry it took so long :/ Another chapter is up :) Has anyone else had a problem where they can't upload their document to the site anymore? Instead you have to copy and paste even though it has the supported format? :/ Or is it just me :/ Anyway...got sidetracked for a moment there :/ Erik won't like me for that :/**

 **Erik: No he certainly won't...now stop talking and get on with it before I do that for you *holds lasso menacingly***

 **Me: Ok, ok, keep your hair on...as you know I don't own any of the characters apart from Caroline :)**

 **Erik: You don't own Caroline; she's mine and you can't have her *glares menacingly at author***

 **Me: But if I didn't create her she couldn't be yours to begin with; and since she is loosely based off of myself then technically I can have her as you have me :) *Smiles a little in smugness at confused expression gracing Erik's features* Ok enough of this banter and on with the show :) Reviews are welcome as always :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty Three: Can't Hold It Back Anymore...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~December 24th 1907~**

It had been a little over a week since the incident in town; after what happened I asked Antoinette to invite her daughter round for the Christmas celebrations. I also noticed the fact the princess didn't have many friends; and I thought she would appreciate having a female friend to talk to and get to know better. I finished tying my cravat; with Caroline still sleeping peacefully in bed when there was a gentle knock at the door. A small groan escaped Caroline as she turned over in bed and so I answered the door quickly.

"I'm sorry to disturb you and the princess; but Antoinette and Meg Giry and Nadir Kahn are in attendance downstairs your highness."

"Thank you Marie." I replied with a small bowing of my head. I then proceeded to get Caroline out of bed so she could greet our guests with us. I am glad she got out of her stupor after about three days or so. But I wonder if she is hiding the trauma beneath the surface; concealing her feelings once again like she always does.

"Caroline our guests are here darling; time to get up." I said gently as I kissed her on the forehead.

"Tell the guests I'll be ready momentarily; could you send Marie in to get me into my dress please?" With a bow I sent in Marie who was waiting patiently outside the door whilst I went downstairs to greet the guests.

"Ah Meg Giry so good to see you again. And it is good to see old friends once again Antoinette and Nadir. The princess should be down momentarily." I said formally.

"How is the princess handling things since her ordeal in town?" Antoinette asked gently.

"She has been quite withdrawn and staying up in her room most of the time; she has also been spending a lot of time in my sewing room I have noticed." I replied matter of factly.

"Once the celebrations are over; talk to her. She needs your guidance and reassurance. But most of all she needs patience to heal from her ordeal. She did this after her parents died; it took her a whole year to come out from her room after that day. I don't know how long it will take her to heal from this latest ordeal; but it could be anything from a month to half a year. Either way it could be a while before she comes out of her shell once again." She replied. I then turned around when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I watched in awe as Caroline walked regally down the stairs in a long red gown with white and black lace on the hem and bottom of the long bell sleeves.

"Antoinette! Nadir! It's so good to see you again!" She said happily as she ran up to them before enveloping them both in her arms.

"I see you have already met my daughter Meg." Antoinette said gently as she gently nudged her daughter forward a little.

"Meg it's so good to see you again." Caroline said happily as she in turn embraced Meg; was this to be the person to get her out of her shell? Will Meg help the princess to socialise and make friends and to escape the confines of her room after what happened?

"How about I show you to your rooms before we settle down for dinner?" I said formally. And with a nod I led Nadir, Antoinette and Meg to their respective rooms. After they were settled into their rooms we sat down at the table for dinner. I watched with a smile as Caroline talked about what she had been composing and creating during the time she was locked away in her room. I guess Meg is a good influence on the princess and I think they will become firm friends.

That night I fell asleep beside the princess with my arm wrapped gently around her waist. At least I can hold her unlike when we were first married; before she wouldn't accept a hug or even a kiss let alone my arm around her waist when we slept. But little by little she is now starting to allow me to hold her when we sleep. Maybe in time she will trust me enough to kiss or hug her. But I will take things slow as I don't want to lose her trust or make her scared of me completely.

 **~The next morning~**

I woke up to the sun on my face but the princess was nowhere in sight. I looked around panicked for a moment wondering where she had gone. Without a second thought I grabbed my robe and ran out of the door in search of the princess. As I exited out of my room I almost bumped into a maid carrying a basket full of laundry.

"I'm sorry; have you seen the princess this morning?" I asked quickly.

"I have. She is downstairs in the drawing room; where the Christmas tree is your highness." And with a curtsy she went on her way towards the direction of the staircase to which I quickly went down towards the drawing room. There in front of me was the princess knelt down in front of the Christmas tree; ripping paper off of presents like an excitable child. But instead of judging her for her behaviour I instead smiled; I saw a side of her that I hadn't seen before. For a while I watched her from the doorway as she revealed each present individually; getting more and more excited as each of the presents were revealed. However she stopped suddenly; almost like she sensed my presence and she turned around with her usual emotionless demeanour. I just hoped in time she can feel comfortable being the way she is around me; to not feel like she has to hide her feelings or inner child from me anymore.

"Good morning Caroline; merry Christmas mon ange." I said gently as I approached her slowly; wanting her to initiate contact between us rather than me initiating it.

"Good morning Erik; merry Christmas." She said happily and she gave me a small hug around my waist; causing me to smile a little when she initiated contact for the first time since we were married.

"I see you've opened most of your presents already; who have you received presents from so far?"

"I have received a present from Nadir; he gave me a really cool mask. It looks like yours; but with roses painted on the surface for the New Year's celebration. Antoinette and Meg gave me some new dress patterns; I can't wait to create something from those. I won't be creating for the New Year's celebrations as I have already made one; but I might create something for the spring or summer. But that's all I've received. I guess it looks a lot because there is a lot of paper lying around; but those are all of the presents I received." And I was shocked at how much she really received. Why did she receive so little though? I just hope in time she can come to meet more people and make friends with some of the people she will meet.

"Well here's my present to you mon ange." I said as I went to pull out the present from my jacket pocket; however I realised I was still wearing my robe.

"I'm afraid I have left your present in my jacket and I haven't even changed yet. I will change into something more suitable before everyone else wakes up whilst you clear up down here." And after stroking her hair a little I left the room to get on my jacket and cravat as well as black trousers and a white shirt. Once I changed I checked to make sure her present was still safely in my pocket before proceeding downstairs. Once I reached the drawing room I noticed all of the paper was cleared away and Caroline's presents were placed in a neat pile on the coffee table. Also Antoinette, Nadir and Meg were also downstairs engaging with the princess whilst opening their presents. I crept up behind her and hugged her from behind; hoping I wouldn't scare her in the process.

"Merry Christmas mon ange." I said gently as I revealed the neatly wrapped present from my jacket pocket. I watched as she carefully opened the present to reveal the burgundy velvet box inside; she slowly opened it and I saw her smile a little when the necklace and earring set was revealed.

"Erik; they're beautiful. They will go perfectly with my new year's celebration dress. Thank you Erik." And she kissed me on the cheek before presenting me with a neatly wrapped parcel.

"Happy Christmas darling." She said quietly as I opened the present slowly. Inside was a beautiful peacock feather quill and a small bottle of blue ink.

"It's beautiful Mon ange; how did you know I needed a new quill?" I asked curiously.

"Call it intuition if you will." She replied cryptically as I placed it down on the coffee table before giving her a gentle peck on the cheek to see how she would react; I smiled a little when she didn't shy away from my touch. I then took out my pocket watch to see it was approaching lunch time.

"Why don't we all adjourn to the dining room for lunch? We have quite a feast and the cooks have been working so hard on it so it will be best not let it go cold." I said formally and with that I took Caroline gently by the waist as Nadir, Antoinette and Meg followed close behind. Once we sat at the table I allowed everyone to help themselves before proceeding to eat our meal. All throughout the meal Caroline was talking animatedly to Meg and Antoinette as well as Nadir every now and again. Once the meal was finished we adjourned to the drawing room where we told stories of times gone by. I also played my violin to show everyone the new pieces I had composed recently; hoping Caroline would show some of the things she had been composing too. However I was disappointed when she sat on the chair and listened intently whilst trying to stifle a yawn every so often. It was like she didn't want to appear rude by going to bed before everyone else. Once the last notes echoed around the room I finished with a small bow before putting my violin down on the table gently. I watched as once again Caroline tried to suppress a small yawn from everyone.

"I think I'm calling it a night. Thank you for playing such wonderful music; I didn't know you could play so well." Meg said politely with a curtsy.

"Thank you for the complement Mademoiselle Giry. The princess can play very well too; maybe we might be able to hear some of her talents tomorrow." I said gently hoping she would play for us. And I watched as Meg went upstairs as well as Nadir and Antoinette after they bid everyone goodnight.

"I think we should follow suit and call it a night too Mon ange." I cooed gently as I tried to lead the princess upstairs.

"But I'm not tired." She whined and I smiled as her inner child shone through for a moment. I then smiled even more when once again a yawn escaped her.

"Oh but Mon ange you are tired darling. Don't worry; when you wake up we can do whatever pleases you most." I said gently and so we went upstairs; but I could tell she was doing so with great reluctance. As I lay in bed I looked down at Caroline to see her sleeping peacefully. At that moment I felt my eyes droop a little and before I knew it I succumbed to sleep that wanted to take over...


	25. Chapter 24

**Now another chapter is up :) I guess what happened before me having to copy and paste was a temporary glitch :) As you know I don't any of the characters from Phantom but I do own Caroline :) Please review and enjoy the chapter guys :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty Four: I Don't Want to Hurt Anymore...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~December 26th 1907~**

I woke up suddenly with a scream; before I knew it I found myself curling up into a ball and sobbing into my knees hoping to quieten my sobs. However that wasn't to be as I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders and Erik's soothing singing voice in my ear. As the song progressed I heard and felt my sobs lessen; however the image of the dream I experienced was still fresh in my mind causing me to hiccup every so often.

"Do you want to talk about it Mon ange?" A gentle voice asked and I looked up to see Erik's concerned blue eyes looking at me gently; to which I nodded a little in response.

"If it gets too much for you darling you can stop any time you want." He explained gently and after swallowing the lump in my throat I said tearfully.

"I was in a big room; I'm not sure what kind of room it was or where I was exactly. Suddenly it went all dark and a voice echoed around saying if I didn't marry him you would die. But before I could make the choice there was a thump as your body fell to the floor; I saw you lying there with blood on your mask and you were not breathing. The strangest thing was that the voice seemed familiar; yet unfamiliar at the same time. I am not sure why that was the case though." And I started sobbing as the images took over my mind once again.

"It's ok; I'm here by your side always Mon Ange. I'll protect you no matter what." He said soothingly and I choked out.

"I'm sorry if I woke you."

"It's ok darling; you can't control your dreams. I know what it's like to wake up frightened and scared of the dreams you experience." He said soothingly; did that mean he has had bad dreams just like me? Does he still dream about the fire that took his mother?

"I'll leave you to get ready whilst I prepare breakfast. I think everyone else should be up soon." He said gently and so once he was out of the room I picked out an outfit just as the maid came into the room.

"Here let me do the lacings for you your highness."

"Thank you Marie." I said gently as she continued to tie the lacings.

"Tighter please." I asked suddenly as I realised she had stopped tying the laces.

"You don't need it tighter your highness; Prince Erik would not like seeing you hurt yourself like this."

"Please; just grant me this one request. It will make me happy if you do." I beseeched. And with a reluctant sigh I felt Marie tighten the laces a little more. Once the laces were tightened I put on my shoes and proceeded downstairs for breakfast. I smiled as I smelt bacon and eggs as well as pastries cooking; who knew I was married to such a talented man? Even though the marriage was forced upon us; I still love how talented my husband is and how much knowledge he possesses.

"Morning darling; that smells lovely. I am so lucky to be married to someone so talented and loving." I said gently as I hugged Erik from behind and leaned into his back a little; however I swear for a moment I felt him tense a little under my touch. He turned around and kissed me gently on the lips causing me to smile a little before saying.

"Breakfast is ready Mon ange; why don't you call everyone in to join us?" And with that I left the room in search of Nadir, Antoinette and Meg. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and called out the fact breakfast was ready. A moment later I heard the collective patter of feet as they ran down the stairs. Once we reached the dining room; we all sat down together and helped ourselves to the food that was set out on the table.

"So what do we have planned for Boxing Day darling?" I asked as I quickly finished a mouthful of food.

"How would you all like to have a horse ride around the grounds?" He asked and I nodded happily in agreement; I also smiled when there were collective cheers around the table from everyone.

"Well once you have all finished why don't you get yourselves into something more suitable for riding whilst I saddle up the horses?" And so I proceeded upstairs followed by Meg to change into my riding dress; which I made myself as well as a pair of boots. Once Meg had changed into her riding clothes; consisting of a blue riding dress with navy riding boots she laced me into my dress; which was burgundy red with a tailored jacket and black boots; we proceeded downstairs to see Erik waiting in his usual black and white attire with a black cloak over his shoulders and a black fedora on his head.

"You look lovely as usual; now let's enjoy a ride shall we?" And with that we all left the castle towards the stables where our horses were saddled up and ready to be ridden into the surrounding countryside. As we rode through the fields of wild flowers I closed my eyes in rapture as the wind blew through my hair. But the moment of beauty was interrupted by Gris stopping suddenly and stamping her hooves nervously.

"Gris girl what's wrong? There's nothing to be afraid of darling." I cooed as I stroked her mane gently hoping to reassure her a little. Suddenly a gunshot pierced the air and Gris whinnied a bit as well as reared up in the air. As she continued to rear up I held on for dear life hoping she would settle down. But that wasn't to be as I found myself falling from her back and hearing something crack as I landed on the ground. As I lay on the ground all I could feel was pain; for a moment I was lost to the world around me. Suddenly I faintly could hear someone calling my name. I then felt someone try and lift me from the ground; however this action caused me to whimper and scream out in pain. At that moment I realised my leg was broken.

"It appears your leg has been broken in the fall. I'm sorry but I will have to lift you to get you to the castle; Nadir is getting the doctor right now; they should be here soon." Erik said matter of factly and so I bit my lip as once again he lifted me from the ground. Once we got into the castle he placed me down gently on a chaise and I waited for the doctor to show up. Soon enough the doctor arrived and I felt Erik holding my hand as the doctor gave my leg the once over.

"I'm afraid it is most definitely broken; I'll set it for you but you will have to stay off your feet for about three to four weeks before the leg is better and you can walk on it again without the help of crutches." I then watched curiously as he set my leg before leaving me with a pair of crutches.

"Is there anything you need?" Erik asked curiously.

"I am fine; I don't need to be mollycoddled and I most certainly don't need to be treated like an invalid." I said through gritted teeth as I attempted to get up from the chaise.

"No Caroline! Your leg is broken and it needs time to heal before you attempt to walk. I promised you I would be there with you every step of the way and I intend to uphold that promise." He said matter of factly as he pushed me down gently on the chaise as I folded my arms like a young child.

"Now is there anything you need darling?" He asked gently once again.

"I'm quite hungry actually." I replied meekly and so with a nod he went in the direction of the kitchen. Five minutes later he came back with a large tray filled with pastries and fruit as well as some cold meat and cheese. I then ate slowly as everyone helped themselves to food on the tray; I guess that's why there was so much food on the tray when he brought it out.

"I'm sorry I interrupted the ride for everyone; I was enjoying being outside so much."

"There's no need to apologise princess; but what we want to know is where did the gunshot come from and who fired the gun causing your horse to rear you off?" Nadir explained gently and I smiled at his understanding.

"I can't tell where it come from; but do you think it could be that blonde man who I have encountered a lot lately?" I asked curiously and I watched as Erik thought intently for a moment.

"It's the most likely possibility as that boy doesn't seem to know when to quit pursuing you." He replied matter of factly.

"What boy do you speak of?" Antoinette asked curiously.

"He is a man in his early twenties; with blonde hair and blue eyes. He said he is a member of the De Chagny family. But the only member of the family I am aware of is Philippe; and the last I remember he is happily married with a wife." Erik explained matter of factly.

"Yes you are right; in a way. But there is the younger son called Raoul; if I remember rightly the younger son does match your description of the man you have been encountering." Nadir replied matter of factly.

"But why would he be pursuing Caroline so? She was betrothed to me after all; so why is he trying to take her from me?" Erik said quickly as he looked at me with concern.

"I'm not sure; but you should remain on your guard. I don't want her hurt; especially when she is the last and only heir of the Bellerose throne. We can't afford to lose her now." Antoinette said gently and I heard Erik reply passionately.

"I will protect her with everything I have; no matter the cost."

"Please Erik; don't get yourself killed just for me. I couldn't bear it if I was the cause of your death. You don't need to sacrifice your life for me; I am not worth saving." I said with a small voice and once again I tried to stand. Why was I feeling like this though?

"Caroline; I will spend every day proving my depth of love for you. But please sit down before you overexert yourself. You need to fully recover before attempting to walk; and even then you will need assistance to do so." He beseeched gently as I was pushed gently back onto the chaise.

"I'll listen because I love you; but I don't necessarily have to like it." I said quietly and I watched as a smile ghosted over his lips.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Mon Ange. Now why don't you rest; it's been a long day and it's getting late." He said soothingly and I looked out of the window; where the sun was setting in shades of orange and pink. As I fell asleep my thoughts returned to what happened today and about the boy who keeps attacking me. It made me think: "when will this nightmare end?"


	26. Chapter 25

**Another chapter is up guys :) I would like to thank everyone for all the reviews you leave me :) They make me feel happy inside and keep me motivated to write for you guys :) As you know I don't own any characters from Phantom but I do own Caroline :) Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome as always :) On with the show! :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty Five: Let's Give You An Ultimatum...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~December 31** **st** **1907~**

It had been five days since Caroline's accident and although she was making steady progress; she still couldn't stay on her feet for long periods without the aid of crutches. However there were times when I had caught the princess wandering the castle and its grounds without the aid of her crutches.

"Please Caroline; use the crutches just this one night. For me and for yourself; if you don't use the crutches you might not be able to walk unaided again darling." I said gently one day and I watched as she sighed reluctantly.

"I'll do it; for you darling. But I don't necessarily have to like it." She said begrudgingly as she took the crutches from me before getting ready for the day.

"Will I still be able to decorate the castle though?" She asked curiously once she was in the dress and waiting for me to tie the laces.

"You can as long as you don't work yourself too hard; I don't want you overexerting yourself when you should be resting so your leg can heal properly." I replied gently as I skilfully tied the laces.

"Is there anything you can't do?" She asked teasingly as she surveyed my handiwork.

"Make friends." I said.

"You have Nadir and Antoinette; and you have me. Aren't we your friends?"

"You are all my friends; but you Caroline are more than that." I said and I stroked her hair a little.

"Now let's decorate the castle before New Year's Day is upon us." I said and with that I led us out of the bedroom towards the ballroom. Once we arrived, I left Caroline to arrange the hundreds of red roses I picked from the castle gardens. As she arranged the roses in the large stone urns and glass vases; I ensured she would sit in a chair every so often to rest her leg. Soon enough the roses were arranged to her liking and the room started to look like a secret garden.

"This looks amazing Caroline; is there nothing you can't do?" I asked as I hugged her from behind.

"I can't accept the fact that I am truly beautiful in your eyes." She replied quietly; like she was hoping I wouldn't be able to hear her.

"You are beautiful. I don't know what your childhood was like; but I hope one day you can bring yourself to understand that you are beautiful to me." I said passionately and I tightened my hold on her a little as I kissed the top of her head.

"Why don't you get into your costume before the guests turn up?" I said gently and I watched as she slowly walked up to her room with the aid of her crutches. I then decided to get into my costume too; I had created a costume to represent a character I created called Don Juan. For a couple of years or so I had been writing an opera called Don Juan Triumphant; hoping one day I could perhaps get it published and presented to the world. I started writing the opera when I was 18 and have been writing it ever since; however lately I have been suffering from writer's block and has caused me no end of pent up frustration. Once I got into the costume; which consisted of a black suit with tight fitting trousers and a white poet shirt. I then swirled the cape around my shoulders which was long and black with a red lining and floral embroidery on the shoulders. I was also wearing a black domino mask. Just as I finished adjusting the mask to my liking I heard the guests starting to come in. I proceeded downstairs and I greeted each one individually.

"Meg, Antoinette, Nadir, I am so glad you could come. The princess should be down momentarily; she is just getting into her costume." As I said that I heard the announcer announce her name and I turned around to see a vision in front of me. I watched as Caroline came down in a black corset with a white lacy off the shoulder top and gold lace skirt. How did she come up with the idea for this costume? I knew at that moment this was to be the costume I would use for Aminta during the final scene of my opera.

"Caroline you look beautiful and you have inspired me."

"How have I done that darling?" She asked curiously before giving me a peck on the cheek.

"I have been writing an opera for about two years now and you have inspired the costume for my heroine in the final act." I replied as I kissed her gently on the lips.

"When will I get to hear this new opera you've been writing behind my back?" She asked teasingly.

"Soon darling, soon." I said quietly. However I was unsure about showing her the opera; I wrote it at a time in my life when I believed no-one could ever love me. It is not just passionate; but it actually burns whoever listens to it. I was afraid of burning Caroline with the passion in the music as I wasn't sure she could handle it.

"Would you like something to drink before mingling amongst the guests?" I said as I held out my arm for her to take.

"I'd like that." She replied quietly and I smiled as she took my arm. I led her towards the table; where I picked up a glass of champagne for myself and a glass of water for Caroline as I knew she didn't like alcohol. As we had our drinks I watched as Caroline talked to Meg; almost like they have been friends forever.

"How's Caroline been holding up since her accident?" Antoinette asked curiously.

"She's healing well; although I have caught her a few times walking around the castle without aid of her crutches." I replied matter of factly.

"That's the princess for you; she's always been stubborn for as long as I can remember." Nadir said with a small laugh.

"Speaking of the princess; where is she?" Antoinette asked curiously.

"She's talking to..." I started to reply as I turned towards where Meg was. However I only saw Meg on her own with a drink in her hand which worried me a little. I went up to her before asking her curiously.

"Have you seen the princess?"

"She went to get herself a drink." She replied. However when I looked across at the drinks table she was nowhere in sight and her crutches were abandoned in the corner of the room.

"Where have you gone Caroline?" I asked myself as I looked around the room desperately. And that's when I heard a sound I never wanted to hear causing me to run out to the balcony followed by Nadir. The only sound ringing in my ears was Caroline's high pitched scream and I knew she was in danger. But what was she in danger from? I reached the balcony and saw Caroline cowering in fear from a man standing threateningly in front of her. But who was this man? He didn't look like the boy who has been pursuing her; so who could have got her so scared?

"I see you've married that masked freak. I'll give you an ultimatum; accept my son's proposal or I will hurt your husband. And you know I have no qualms about hurting people to get what I want; especially ones someone loves." The man said coldly. What was she going to do? Will she give me up just so I wouldn't get hurt or will she stay and risk both our lives?

"Please don't make me choose!" She pleaded tearfully and I was about to stop the man from upsetting her any further. However I was stopped by Nadir's hand on my shoulder.

"Nadir you will unhand me immediately! My wife and future heir to the throne is in danger; and I will not have her unnecessarily upset during such a joyous occasion." I seethed quietly as I didn't want to alert the man to my presence.

"We need to be careful; that man looks like the man who killed her parents. He will not hold any qualms on hurting her too just to get to you." But before I could reply I looked up to see the man lifting her up harshly by her arm; causing a pained whimper to escape her lips. That's when I saw red and had enough; I walked purposefully towards the man and with a roar I pulled the man away from Caroline.

"I don't know how you got in here; but I would appreciate it if you leave. And if I ever see you accosting my wife again; I will have no qualms about killing you." I threatened coldly and with that I pushed him towards the two guards; who were standing nearby and a moment later they threw him out of the castle.

"Caroline are you ok? Did he hurt you? What were you doing out here on your own and without your crutches I might add?"

"I'm sorry if I worried you. I felt overwhelmed by all of the people around me; I had to go out and get some air. But please don't get mad at Meg; I was the one who persuaded and lied to her just to get outside." She replied quietly.

"It's ok I forgive you. Just please don't go outside; not without Nadir or I around next time ok?" I asked gently as I helped her up from the floor by carrying her bridal style into the ballroom. Once we got into the ballroom I set her down gently into a chair before getting her a glass of water. As she sipped her water I took out my pocket watch to see it was approaching midnight; the time when everyone unmasks each other. But why was I so nervous about the unmasking? She has seen my face before so why am I so uncomfortable about the prospect of unmasking? Maybe I didn't want anyone else to see my face and that's why I didn't want to be unmasked when midnight struck. The clock struck midnight and I turned towards Caroline to unmask her; I then watched in trepidation as her hand came towards my mask. However she stopped short of removing it completely. But why didn't she remove it for?

"I can tell you are uncomfortable at the prospect; I won't force you to do something you're not ready for." She said gently as she stroked my masked cheek gently causing my eyes to close in rapture for a moment.

After the guests left I carried Caroline up to bed. Once we got upstairs I noticed the fact that Caroline was sleeping peacefully in my arms; but how was I to get her out of the dress without interrupting her sleep? Would it be ok for me to get her out of the dress as everyone else was asleep? Also there were no maids around as I gave them the night off. After much deliberation I decided to loosen the dress and corset; but not actually take them off, as I didn't want to break the trust formed between us. Once the dress and corset was loosened enough I placed the covers over her before proceeding to get myself ready for bed. As I took the mask off I heard rustling coming from behind me and I watched as Caroline was awake and sitting up in bed.

"Caroline aren't you tired? You need to rest after the festivities." I explained as the moon still shone low in the sky.

"Something didn't feel right which caused me to wake up. I wouldn't have minded if you dressed me into my nightdress though; I trust you enough not to harm me." She said gently as she got up and hugged me from behind.

"Will you help me out of my dress please? I think I made it too hard to get off on my own." She asked sheepishly as she turned her back towards me. As I loosened the laces; I smiled at the fact she trusted me enough to help her get out of her dress. I then helped her into her nightgown before she turned around and kissed me on the lips as a silent way of saying thank you. At least she was slowly starting to trust me; but there were times when she still hid her body within tight corsets. Why does she feel the need to hide her body? Hopefully in time she will be able to reveal the reasons why she does this. As I settled down with my arm wrapped around her waist I awaited with trepidation at what the new year would bring; not knowing the news that would arise with the dawn of a new day...


	27. Chapter 26

**Hi guys I am sooooooooooooooooo sorry this took so long to upload :( Life got in the way and I have also been away so no laptop :/ As you know I own nothing from Phantom but I do own my own characters Caroline and Eugene :) On with the show and all reviews and constructive criticism are welcome :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty Six: Bleumont's Discovery**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~January 1** **st** **1908~**

I awoke with Erik's arms still around me which caused me to smile and snuggle into his chest a little.

"Morning mon ange how did you sleep?" A voice asked gently.

"Good thanks since you were beside me." I cooed gently and I turned around before kissing him on the lips.

"We need to go into town today; I have some errands to run and I also need to get some supplies. Would you care to join me? I promise I'll protect you." He said gently. All I could do was nod in agreement; even though inside I was panicking. What were to happen if I was attacked in town again? Even though I put myself in the situation; I am still scared of what could potentially happen to me.

"I'll call Marie in whilst I get ready for the day." He said gently and he got up to get himself dressed as well as don his mask. But before he could leave out of the door to call the maid in I grabbed him by his shirt; causing him to look back at me in surprise.

"Is everything ok?" He asked gently as he rubbed my shoulders a little.

"Will you help me into my dress please?" I asked meekly as I felt the heat grow in my cheeks and I looked down at my feet.

"Of course darling; whatever pleases you princess." He replied gently. With that I went towards the large mahogany closet where my clothes resided; Erik's clothes resided in an ebony closet that was next to mine. Once I picked out a simple bright red dress with long bell sleeves and a Queen Anne neckline as well as a built in bustle; I turned towards my husband where he helped me with the lacings that ran down the back of my nightgown. Once he got me into the suitable undergarments I watched as he expertly tightened the corset; it was like he had been doing such motions all of his life. How did he learn to tie a corset so well though?

"I can tell you are thinking darling. I learnt how to tie a corset by looking at the ones you created; I just looked at the construction and was able to know how it worked. It's a talent I've possessed for as long as I can remember; I can just look at how an item is constructed and in turn work out how it works." He said matter of factly; but how does he know what I am thinking?

"How can you tell what I am thinking? It's like you can read my mind or something." I asked curiously.

"Call it intuition if you will." He replied cryptically and so I stood there in deep thought as he continued lacing the corset.

"Tighter please darling." I asked stoically as I realised he had stopped tying the laces.

"I don't want to hurt you darling; talk to me please. Why do you feel the need to hide your body under such tight corsets? You are beautiful without the corset; the dress you chose and created enhances your natural beauty and I will spend every waking moment proving the depth of my love for you." He beseeched passionately and I felt the tears falling gently down my cheeks. He then finished tying the laces before proceeding to put on the rest of the garments on over my head.

"How about we go out and get some pastries? I know a nice little shop where I sometimes order pastries; either when a special occasion was coming up or when my parents took a fancy to having a pastry or two."

"I'd like that." I replied and so we made our way towards the stables where our horses were waiting for us; saddled and waiting to be ridden.

"How did Stefan know to saddle the horses?" I asked curiously and I realised Erik had this knowing look on his face.

"You planned something didn't you?" I asked teasingly as my eyebrows raised in suspicion.

"Well I might or might not have asked Stefan to saddle the horses this morning ready for an early morning ride into town." He replied teasingly.

"So did you or didn't you?" I asked curiously as my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Of course I did darling; I wanted to surprise you. You take everything so seriously don't you?" He asked curiously.

"Yes I guess I do; I wonder why that is though?" I replied quietly; asking mostly to myself hoping he would hear.

"Maybe it's another quirk of yours; I like it." He said gently and he kissed me on the lips gently before mounting his horse elegantly. I followed suit and once I was on my horse side saddle we made our way towards town.

"Won't Uncle Nadir and Aunt Antoinette worry about where I am?" I asked with concern lacing my tone.

"Don't worry; I have left them a note telling them where we have gone. Something I have noticed though..."

"What have you noticed exactly?" I asked curiously as the town started to come into view.

"Why do you always call Nadir and Antoinette uncle and aunt?"

"I had to; my father instilled it into me since I was a child. I had to call them that out of politeness or I would be scolded by my father if I didn't." I replied quietly as I continued to keep my gaze towards the town; as we approached the bridge that separated the town from our kingdom. Once we reached town we got off our horses before tying them to a nearby post.

"I need to get some staff paper and ink; would you care to join me or would you like to go to the fabric shop?" Erik asked gently. I smiled at the fact he didn't want to keep a constant eye on me; but instead allowed me the choice of what I wanted to do.

"I think I would like to go to the fabric store; once we have got breakfast that is. I am pretty hungry."

"Yes, I did promise you I would take you to the shop where I get pastries for my parents from didn't I?" He said and with that I took his outstretched arm before we made our way towards the pastry shop. Once we picked up our pastries we went to a bench near a beautiful fountain. The fountain was made of marble; with water spouting out of the beaks of two swans; which had their backs to each other.

"Got any plans as to what you will buy in the fabric shop Mon ange?"

"I was thinking about buying some fabric to make some winter dresses. Plus some fabric for Valentine's Day even though it is so far away."

"You do like being well prepared don't you." Erik said matter of factly. I nodded and with that I brushed the crumbs off of my dress before proceeding towards the fabric shop whilst Erik went in the opposite direction towards the music shop. Once I entered the store I looked at all of the different fabrics on display and thought about what I would like to make into winter dresses. As I perused the fabrics I heard the door open; however I continued to peruse the fabrics once I realised it was just another customer entering the shop. But as the customer talked to the store clerk I couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

"...Did you hear the news? Eugene Bleumont has made a new discovery and he has published his findings today. Apparently he has discovered this new condition he calls 'Autism'. To think that people who are not like us are amongst us as we speak." And I had to refrain from speaking my mind; how can a person be so cold towards people who are so different from themselves? I shook my head a little and went back to looking at fabrics; it was at that moment berry-coloured velvet caught my eye. I knew this was the fabric I would make into a winter dress. But what would I wear to the Valentine's Day Ball coming up on February 14th? I knew I would wear red as it is my favourite colour. But as it is a masquerade ball I knew I had to come up with a costume idea. I then recalled the pirate costume Erik wore at the Halloween event. Maybe I could come as a pirate with a long red coat and a billowing red dress; I would also wear a black corset, long black boots and a big floppy black hat with a white feather. Once I decided that would be the costume I would wear I took the fabric reams up to the counter before telling the clerk how much fabric I was to purchase. Once all the fabric was purchased and paid for I made my way towards the milliner's store to purchase a plain black floppy hat as that was one talent I didn't possess; however I would at least be able to embellish the plain hat a little for the event. Just as I left the store I nearly bumped into someone as I carried the large amount of bags out of the shop.

"Here mon ange let me help you with those." And I smiled as Erik took some of the bags off my hands.

"Thank you for taking those; I thought I was going to be buried under the weight of all of the bags I have." I said gratefully with a small giggle.

"I see you have a lot of fabric there; including a large amount of red fabric. What do you have planned exactly with all of that red fabric?" He asked gently.

"It's a surprise; all I will tell you is it's for the Valentine's Day Ball. But that is all I will tell you." I replied teasingly and I watched as a look came across his face of intense concentration; almost like the cogs were practically turning inside his head.

"I can tell you're thinking darling. But I still won't tell you what I am making." I continued teasingly.

"I'll stop thinking about it for now darling; did you hear the news?"

"Which news is that exactly darling?" I asked curiously.

"A man called Eugene Bleumont made a discovery this morning and has published his findings. Here's the paper he published darling; apparently he has discovered a condition known as 'Autism'. Apparently people who are autistic display traits such as difficulty with socialising, not liking a change to their routine, obsessive tendencies and high intelligence. Are you thinking what I'm thinking darling?" He replied matter of factly.

"Are you thinking I could possibly have this condition called Autism?" I asked.

"I am thinking that indeed darling; I think our next port of call should be to make an appointment with this Eugene Bleumont." And with that we went towards his office in the centre of the town.

"Do you think he would see me on such short notice though?" I asked curiously.

"Of course; once I explain your traits he will probably want to see you for research purposes." He explained as we arrived at his front door. Erik went up to the door and knocked firmly three times before waiting for someone to answer.

"How may I help you sir?" An elderly gentleman asked.

"Good afternoon Monsieur Bleumont I am Prince Destler; I was enquiring about your recent research into the autism condition. I believe my wife has some of the tendencies you mentioned in the paper you published this morning. Is it possible for you to see her and make a diagnosis?" He asked smoothly.

"It is an honour to have the prince pay me a visit; of course come in. I would be happy to see your wife. Please come in." And with that he led us inside before closing the door behind us. But could he be seeing us as he felt he couldn't refuse the prince? Once we were inside we sat down in his parlour in front of a roaring fireplace.

"Could you explain to me the traits you have witnessed in your wife?"

"I have noticed she finds it difficult to be in social situations and doesn't socialise very much. She is also highly intelligent and hates change to her routine. She is obsessed with sewing and playing her violin. I have known her to stay up into the early hours of the morning; finishing her latest creation or masterpiece." He replied concisely.

"It does sound to me your wife has some form of autism; but it sounds like something new; something different. There is still much I have to learn and research about this condition. If you will allow it I would like to use your wife as a case study for my research."

"I give you permission to study my wife." He said stoically and after bidding goodbye we went back towards the kingdom. Little did we know a figure was hiding in the shadows the entire time?

"So you've been hiding this secret from us the entire time? We'll see to it that everyone knows your secret and that you could never become queen of this kingdom."


	28. Chapter 27

**So another chapter guys :) Sorry if it is short :/ But it was a good place to stop and sometimes I have to live with that :) Thank you for all the reviews and kind words; shout out to Angelofmusic46 and Child of Music and Dreams :) You guys come up with interesting theories and lovely comments :) Glad you are liking the story and so sorry it took so long to reply to your reviews :/ but the site was being weird and won't let me reply for a while :/ Not sure why...must be a bug or something. Anyway I am rambling :/ Erik won't like that :/**

 **Erik: No I certainly won't...and if I catch you doing it again there will be consequences *holds lasso menacingly***

 **Me: *gulps a little* ok please keep the reviews coming in guys I very much appreciate it. I don't own Phantom or the lyrics mentioned :) Andrew Lloyd Webber owns those rights :) On with the show! :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty Seven: Love Never Dies, Love Never Falters...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~February 14** **th** **1908~**

It was the morning of the day of the Valentine's Ball and I would see the dress the princess has been creating for the past week or so. I noticed since the diagnosis and her healing from her broken leg she has been locked away in her sewing room. Was she afraid of the judgement she might receive from me? Doesn't the princess realise that no matter what happens I will always be by her side and never judge her for what or who she is? Or was she just being her usual creative self and once the dress was completed she will come out of the room once again? I decided to bring her some breakfast hoping I could see her before the ball this evening.

"Caroline...are you in there? I have some breakfast for you. You have been in there for days now." I asked gently as I waited for a reply.

"One moment Erik; I am almost finished here." She yelled in reply and so I waited before hearing the door open a moment later.

"Are you finished in their mon ange? You've been in there for days." I asked curiously as I placed the breakfast tray down on a nearby empty table.

"Sorry; I've only just finished the dress and I don't want you to see it until tonight." She replied meekly as she quietly picked up a croissant from the tray before ripping it open and spreading some jam onto it.

"I can't see it before? I bet it looks amazing." I asked teasingly as I tried to look for the dress in the room; however she hid it well and she didn't seem to be giving anything away at this moment in time.

"You'll just have to wait and see; it's a surprise." She replied teasingly.

"Well we still need to decorate the castle before the ball tonight. Would you care to join me?"

"I'd love to Mon Ange." She said. With that we went in the direction of the garden; where hundreds upon hundreds of roses were growing.

"We need as many red roses as we can harvest; we want to cover the ballroom in the love and beauty tonight." I said matter of factly and I watched as Caroline took hold of a basket and a knife before proceeding to cut as many stems as she could.

"Slow down Caroline; I don't want you to hurt yourself on the thorns." And just as I said that I heard a small ouch come from Caroline.

"See; what did I tell you." I said gently as I took hold of her injured hand.

"I'm fine; I'm kind of immune to the pain since I make my own clothes. You have to get use to being constantly pricked by pins and needles; occupational hazard of being your own seamstress." She replied matter of factly. And soon enough we had enough roses to decorate the ballroom.

"You're very efficient at harvesting roses; I wish you were around before when the castle was decorated. We had to use the entirety of the castle staff to harvest enough roses to decorate the ballroom." I said with a small deep laugh.

"I'm glad I could help. For as long as I can remember I have always been fast and efficient as well as good with my hands; especially when small fiddly tasks are involved." She said matter of factly as we entered the castle once again. I then watched as she proceeded to place the roses she harvested elegantly into the many vases that were dotted around the room. I smiled a little before helping Caroline out with arranging the roses. Soon enough we were finished and as I held Caroline in my arms I heard a growl as her stomach rumbled a little.

"I think our next port of call is feeding you; we have been at this for hours and it appears we have missed lunch." I said gently as I led her towards the kitchen; where several maids were making hors d'oeuvres for the ball tonight. I then got out some fresh bread as well as meat, cheese and fruit as we will be eating over the duration of the ball.

"Well done on being such a great help with the decorating Mon ange."

"I'm glad the decorating is finished; the castle looks beautiful now." She then saw the clock on a nearby wall; and after taking another mouthful of food; she said matter of factly.

"I better take my leave and get ready for the ball. I'll see you soon Mon ange." And with a peck on the cheek she left the room with Marie following close behind. I then decided now would be a good time to get into my costume too. My costume consisted of a red naval style coat with gold trim, a white ruffled shirt, red cravat and tight black pants and long black boots. I decided this year I would be a naval officer as I have already been a pirate. Once I got into my costume I decided to start greeting the guests whilst Caroline was still getting ready.

"Nadir, Antoinette, Meg; it's so good to see you again."

"Thank you for inviting us; where's the princess?"

"She's getting ready; she should be down soon. But something interesting happened whilst we were in town last month."

"What happened exactly?" Nadir asked curiously.

"Have you heard of a gentleman called Eugene Bleumont?" And they nodded in agreement.

"So I take it you know the news about him discovering a condition called Autism?" Once again they all nodded in agreement.

"Well we both visited Monsieur Bleumont and he has diagnosed Caroline with Autism; although he believes it is a different form to the one he has discovered. He needs to do some more research before he can be certain."

"I guess that explains the fact she didn't like change to her routine; since that was mentioned in Eugene's research." Antoinette said quietly. But before I could reply the room went silent and I turned around to see Caroline at the top of the stairs. She was wearing a short red dress with a wide billowing skirt; supported by a black petticoat underneath. She was also wearing a black under bust corset and a long red coat. To top it off she was wearing a black wide brimmed hat and a sword at her hip. In fact the costume looked very similar to the one I wore when I attended the Halloween event a couple of years ago. I wonder if my costume inspired her to create her own version.

"Caroline you look amazing." I breathed when she reached me.

"Thank you." She replied meekly as she blushes a little.

"Would you care for a drink? Or maybe you would like something to eat."

"I think I would like a drink first." And so I led her towards the drinks table before picking up a glass of water for her and a glass of champagne for myself. However I noticed she was looking at my glass as she sipped her water slowly.

"Is everything ok? Do you want something else to drink?"

"I noticed you always give me water; why is that? Do you think I don't drink is that why you do it?" She asked curiously as she continued to sip her water.

"I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway; I never thought of you as much of a drinker and so didn't know what you preferred to drink." I replied sincerely.

"That's alright; you're forgiven. I'll just pick up a glass of champagne once I am finished with my water." She replied as she finished her drink before picking up a glass of champagne.

"Prince Erik; it is time to perform your highness." I heard a voice say and I turned around to see my butler standing in front of me. With that I took the sheet music that was contained inside my jacket and went towards the piano in the centre of the room. After placing the music on the stand I warmed up my fingers before playing the opening chords.

"This song is in honour of our marriage and I love I hold for the princess; Caroline this is for you and it's called Love Never Dies."

 _Who knows when love begins  
Who knows what makes it start  
One day it's simply there  
Alive inside your heart_

 _It slips into your thoughts  
It infiltrates your soul  
It takes you by surprise  
Then seizes full control_

 _Try to deny it  
And try to protest  
But love won't let you go  
Once you've been possessed_

 _Love never dies  
Love never falters  
Once it has spoken  
Love is yours_

 _Love never fades  
Love never alters  
Hearts may get broken  
Love endures  
Hearts may get broken  
Love endures_

 _And soon as you submit  
Surrender flesh and bone  
That love takes on a life  
Much bigger than your own_

 _It uses you at whim  
And drives you to despair  
And forces you to feel  
More joy than you can bear_

 _Love gives you pleasure  
And love brings you pain  
And yet when both are gone  
Love will still remain_

 _Once it has spoken  
Love is yours_

 _Love never dies  
Love never alters_

 _Hearts may get broken  
Love endures  
Hearts may get broken_

 _Love never dies  
Love will continue  
Love keeps on beating  
When you're gone_

 _Love never dies  
Once it is in you  
Life may be fleeting  
Love lives on  
Life may be fleeting_

 _Love lives on_

As the last note echoed around the hall I heard applause around me. As I took a bow I was nearly barrelled to the ground by someone small and light.

"That was beautiful darling; I can't believe you wrote a song for me." She said gently as she kissed me on the lips.

"I would write an entire opera to show the depth of my love for you." I breathed as I kissed her back.

"I'm just going outside for some air. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment." She said and so I allowed her some privacy whilst I mingled with the guests. Little did I know that would be the best and worst day of my life; as I hear a sound that would haunt me for the rest of my life...?


	29. Chapter 28

**Another chapter :) Wow I'm on a roll :D Anyway you know the drill :) Anything mentioned apart from OCs and lyrics of my own creation do not belong to me but their respective owners :) Also the M rating comes in as there are scenes of torture in this chapter. Constructive criticism and reviews are welcome and on with the show :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty Eight: A Bird in a Gilded Cage**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~February 14** **th** **1908~**

As I stood on the balcony with a drink in my hand I thought back to the song Erik wrote for me. I can't believe he wrote such a beautiful song for me. It made me feel beautiful and loved. Even though I knew it was dangerous for me to be outside alone; I had to get outside before I become overwhelmed by the inevitable sensory overload that would ensue. Also I knew Erik would get questions about his latest masterpiece and I couldn't handle being around all of the attention he would receive. At least Erik understood my need to be alone sometimes; the need to be away from the sensory information as it would overwhelm me if I was exposed to too much. Suddenly I heard a voice that sent shivers down my spine.

"My my my; you made this too easy for me. I thought you wouldn't be stupid enough to be out here alone; but I guess I was mistaken."

"Why can't you just leave me alone? All I have to do is scream and Erik will come running." I said commandingly.

"How can you scream when you're not even awake?" He said menacingly as he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket.

"I'll fight you and find a way to scream; and someone will hear me and summon Erik to come to my aid. He will not allow you to lay a hand on me; he loves me and will protect me at all costs." I replied seething. I calculated my move as he came towards me; intent clear in his eyes. But before he could grab me I kicked him in the groin and proceeded to run towards the doors. But before I could even scream he seemed to recover quick as he grabbed me from behind.

"Get off me! You will be sorry when..." But my sentence was interrupted by the handkerchief being placed firmly over my mouth; and that's when I recognised the odour of chloroform. I tried to hold my breath and not breathe in the sweet odour; but soon enough I couldn't hold my breath any longer; and I succumbed to the darkness as the chloroform took hold.

 **~A few hours later~**

I wasn't sure how long had passed since I had been rendered unconscious; but I groaned a little as the fogginess started leaving my brain. When the fogginess was gone I realised the fact I didn't recognise where I was.

"Erik? Are you there?" I rasped as I realised my throat was parched.

"He is not here; but here's some water. It sounds like your throat is dry. You'll be no good to me if you are dehydrated." A voice said and I recognised it as the man who kidnapped me.

"Why should I? You could easily drug or poison it." I rasped as I backed away from the man holding out a glass full of water towards me.

"Why would I kill the girl who is mine by birthright and worked so hard to gain? Although why should I have to marry a girl who is a freak of nature and hid a secret from me?" He said slowly; as he put down the glass on a nearby table before walking towards me. I tried as hard as I could to back away; but I heard a clink and I looked down to see a metal shackle around my ankle.

"You are not going anywhere my dear. And once I am finished with you no-one will want you as their ruler or allow you to step foot in the kingdom again." He said threateningly as he placed a hand under my chin; before lifting my head to meet his eyes.

"Erik and the rest of the kingdom will realise I'm gone and rescue me before you could even touch me." As I wriggled out of his grasp.

"You won't be found out here; for starters we're not even in the De Chagny kingdom anymore. Do you think I would be stupid enough to stay in my own kingdom; knowing that is the first place your freak of a husband would look?"

"Erik is smarter than you think; he will find me and when he does you will be sorry." I seethed as I raised my chin defiantly.

"Oh he will find you; but only after I have dealt out the proper punishment for hiding that secret from me all this time."

"What secret are you talking about?"

"The one Eugene Bleumont discovered only recently. How dare you hide something that big from me?!" He replied angrily.

"Considering I didn't know anything about the Autism until Monsieur Bleumont discovered it; and it wasn't until he diagnosed me I knew about it. How can you accuse me of hiding anything from you? And also why should I have to reveal anything to you? I hold no feelings for you and might I add; I am already betrothed and married." I replied matter of factly.

"Enough! I will have my revenge on you for refusing me and for hiding such a secret from me!" And he grabbed me forcefully around the wrist before pulling me up firmly by the arm; causing the shackle to break under the force. As he dragged me out of the room and down a random corridor I struggled in his grasp. However this proved futile as he was stronger than he appeared. Before I knew it I found myself in what appeared to be a cellar. But why had he brought me here? That's when I looked around and the enormity of the situation began to sink in; around me were different instruments and I realised we were in the dungeons. I guess the instruments were used to torture prisoners when they were brought down here.

"What are you going to do to me?" I asked tearfully as once again I tried struggling out of his firm grip.

"You will see my dear; but I won't give anything away just yet." He said coldly and he proceeded to drag me towards a large wooden table. Before I could say a word of protest; he threw me down harshly face first; causing dizziness to grace my vision for a little while. I then felt shackles being placed around my ankles and wrists and as I struggled I stopped; as they began to cut into the delicate skin of my ankles and wrists.

"Stop struggling! You will never be accepted as queen of your kingdom once I am finished with you! And Erik will abandon you once he sees what I have done to you!" He yelled angrily as I hear the characteristic sound of ripping fabric. I then heard his footsteps leaving the table and I thought he might leave me alone for a while. However I screamed out in pain as something cut into my back. But what was causing this pain and why was he hurting me like this? After screaming at him to stop for what felt like hours my throat became hoarse and I realised he must be using a whip on my back. I breathed a sigh of relief when the pain stopped and I thought that was the end of my torture; but I couldn't be more wrong. He unclasped the shackles before facing my body upwards; causing me to wince as the wood bit into my wounds.

"Now let's make sure the whole world knows about your secret. It would be a crime if their future queen is hiding something this big from them." And he turned away from me as I tried to see what he was doing. As the noise increased of him fiddling with something metallic I thought for a moment I heard a hiss. He finally turned towards me; when I saw what he was holding in his hand my eyes widened and once again I tried struggling out of my restraints.

"Struggling is futile and will make this experience more painful for you. But I want to ensure everyone knows of your condition."

"Please don't do this! Just let me go and I won't tell anyone what happened; not even my husband." I begged tearfully; as once again; I tried ruefully to struggle out of the restraints.

"I will not let you go! Not until you are branded as a freak and an abomination to society! Once you are branded no-one will want a freak like you as their queen." He said coldly and he pressed the brand to the skin of my collarbone; causing me to scream in pain until my voice went hoarse. But as quickly as the pain came it disappeared; and I let the tears fall; as the pain still lingered in my mind. I didn't even register the restraints being loosened as I was dragged back to my 'room'. As the door closed and locked behind me; I just stared at the ceiling; wishing he just killed me instead of torturing me. If I was killed I could join my parents. I will be with them again and I would never have to hide from the De Chagny's. I wonder how long I was going to be kept here; was he going to keep me here until I die or until he was bored with me? Was he ever going to let me go?

 **~Two months later~**

It had been roughly two months since I was kidnapped and I had yet to know the name of my kidnapper. But the strangest thing was the fact I recognised his voice; it belonged to the man who has been pursuing me for years. But why won't he reveal who he was? Was he thinking if he broke my spirit enough I would leave Erik and marry him instead?

"Ah my prisoner is awake. Now I shall present you with an ultimatum; leave your husband and marry me or you will never see the light of day again!" He said coldly.

"And who demands I marry them? If I were to follow through with your 'proposal'; I should at least know to who I am to be married to." I rasped seething.

"I am Vicomte Raoul De Chagny; next in line to the throne and your betrothed." He replied and my eyes widened in surprise. So this man in front of me; who has been pursuing me all this time; was the son of the man who killed my parents. But I was clearly betrothed to Erik; why is this man claiming he was my betrothed all this time? But then I guess someone this desperate to get what they want; will make up any lie to get it.

"I will never marry you!" I seethed.

"Then I guess I will just have to starve you until you beg me to marry you." He said coldly and with that he left the room before locking the door behind him. However I didn't have the energy to try and protest or make my escape. I then decided to make the decision to see what Raoul did to me exactly. I looked in the mirror and saw the brand for the first time and cried. The brand was in the shape of a deformed rose; where the stem and petals are twisted and misshapen. Why did he have to put the brand on such a prominent place? I know he wants everyone to know about my condition; but now I can never expose that part of me ever again. And that's when I opened my mouth to sing; hoping someone out there would hear my pain.

 _I remember a time,_

 _When I was free to soar,_

 _With you by my side,_

 _And nothing would stand in our way,_

 _But that wasn't meant to be._

 _I wish to feel like that again,_

 _To feel free and let my soul soar,_

 _High above the clouds,_

 _And for me to take flight once again._

 _I was like a bird,_

 _Free to sing and fly alongside you,_

 _But all that changed,_

 _When I was stolen from the skies,_

 _By the darkness and strength of an eagle._

 _I wish to be free once more,_

 _So I can be in your arms again,_

 _And be free of my guilded cage,_

 _And for me to take flight one again._

 _Now I believe that day won't come,_

 _Why have you not come?_

 _To set your nightingale free,_

 _I only want to sail the skies,_

 _And to see your face again._

 _I only wish to be free,_

 _For you to be my saviour,_

 _And unclip my wings,_

 _To set me free,_

 _From this guilded cage,_

 _For me to take flight,_

 _Once more._

As the last note echoed around the room I heard the door unlock and footsteps approach me from behind.

"Your voice will grace many a party once we are married. But no-one will set you free; and even if you do escape; no-one will ever respect you as their queen." He said coldly; and he touched my chin gently; before lifting my face to meet his eyes.

"Now have you thought about my little proposal?" He continued slowly.

"I have and I will not marry you!" I replied defiantly.

"Then you will remain here until you accept." But before he could lock the door behind him there was a crash coming from downstairs.

"Wait I think my dear, we have a guest..."


	30. Chapter 29

**Another chapter :) I feel good :) There probably won't be another chapter up until after the 28th Nov as I am away in Amsterdam :) So won't really be writing that much :) As you know any lyrics or Phantom characters are not mine; they belong to their respective owners. But I do own Caroline :) Thanks for the reviews and favourites and follows :) On with the show!**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Twenty Nine: Please I Know You're In There...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~April 14** **th** **1908~**

It had been two months since Caroline went missing; however so far I have found no leads as to her whereabouts or who kidnapped her. I had my theory as to who kidnapped her; but why and where did he take her? Why would a member of the De Chagny family kidnap the princess? Was it because she married me or was it revenge for surviving the attack on her family?

"Your highness I have some news that might interest you." A voice said breathlessly. However all I did was swirl my glass of wine a little. I then stared out of the window a little as I allowed the sentence to sink in a little.

"What is it? Tell me now Nadir." I asked coldly without looking at the man. Couldn't he see I was brooding and mulling over the situation right now?

"There have been reports of a beautiful singing voice being heard from a neighbouring kingdom. It isn't the De Chagny kingdom; but it has been abandoned for years. I think it is the princess calling out for help; we should go and investigate." He replied matter of factly. Without a second thought I grabbed my cloak and hat; before saddling up Caesar and going to ride towards the kingdom. But I was stopped by a figure running in front of Caesar; causing him to stop suddenly for a moment.

"Nadir what the blazes are you doing!? You will step aside before I instruct Caesar to trample you!"

"Stopping you from getting yourself killed; if you die trying to save her then there is no hope of saving the princess. Let me come with you; I can help you and together we can bring the princess home." He beseeched and with a sigh I allowed him to quickly saddle his horse. We then made our way to the now inhabited kingdom that once was abandoned. Why would anyone inhabit an abandoned kingdom unless they are torturing the princess? Am I too late to save her now? We got to the kingdom; but what worried me the most was the silence that hung in the air.

"Are you sure this is the place? I can't hear anything or see any signs of anyone being here."

"I am one hundred percent sure your highness. Let's scope out this place before finding the princess." He replied matter of factly. With a nod in agreement; we got off the horses; before sneaking around the back.

"I guess the De Chagny boy isn't as stupid as first thought." I whispered as I saw five guards guarding the back entrance.

"What makes you think it is a member of the De Chagny family?"

"He's been harassing the princess for the past couple of years at least; you have kicked him out of events quite a few times too. He is responsible for kidnapping the princess I know it." I replied as I pulled the lasso from my sleeve.

"Now let's dispatch these guards before they warn De Chagny of our presence." I said seriously. I went towards the first of the guards; dispatching him before he could even utter a scream.

"Quick! Warn the Vicomte we have..." But before his sentence was finished Nadir had dispatched the guard and I proceeded to dispatch two more guards before Nadir could even touch them.

"Let's go find the princess." Nadir said breathlessly after the last guard fell to the floor. And so we stormed the castle with weapons at the ready; however what unnerved me was the fact there was no-one in sight; at first. Suddenly I heard shouts of protest. I growled when I saw the De Chagny boy coming down the stairs whilst manhandling my wife.

"You will unhand her before I make you." I seethed angrily.

"Why should I? The kingdom will never accept her for who she is. At least here she will be accepted." He drawled sarcastically.

"You don't accept me! Also Erik would never do that to me! He loves me for who I am and would never abandon me!" A voice yelled angrily and I saw Caroline lash out at the boy; causing him to yell out in pain and hunch over. And it felt like someone knocked all the breath out of me; there on her collarbone was a brand mark in the shape of a deformed rose. Without a thought I strode over to the boy before grabbing him around the throat and lifted him into the air. All I could see was red as thoughts of revenge took over; how could he brand her so horribly and in such a prominent place?

"Erik! Erik! Don't do this! You'll become the monster people fear you are! Don't stoop to his level!" A voice called out breaking the red haze that was about to take over.

"But he branded and hurt you. He deserves to be punished for his crimes." I said stoically as I didn't loosen my grip on his throat.

"Please Erik; do this for me but most of all for yourself. I wouldn't want to see you punished because of me." She pleaded and with that I let him go; but not without throwing him to the floor first.

"Nadir get this man out of my sight before I kill him for you." I seethed and with that Nadir dragged the man towards a carriage that was parked outside.

"Come Caroline; I'll take you home on Caesar. You need to rest; you've had a trying day."

"I'm not tired." She said meekly and with that she left the building; her head hung low. When I got outside I saw her sat side saddle atop Caesar. But why was she sitting so proper? Normally she sits like a man atop a horse; but today it's like the branding changed her. After climbing onto the horse behind her; we went towards the castle in contemplative silence. Even though it wasn't long since I saved her from the boy's clutches; I was still worried about how silent she was. I just hoped she wouldn't remain like this for too long. We got back to the castle and without a word Caroline jumped off of Caesar before going inside; and I don't think she looked anyone in the eye as she went in. I got in after putting Caesar in the stables to see her nowhere in sight. I saw Antoinette and I asked.

"Have you seen the princess?"

"I did; I think she went to the music room. It appears she found the need to compose; although the melodies she is playing are very melancholic in nature." She replied matter of factly. With a nod I went in the direction of the music room; hoping to reach the princess somehow. When I reached the music room I heard her playing the violin; but the melodies emanating from the room broke my heart. Was I ever going to reach the princess? Was she ever going to leave the room? I knocked twice gently and sang quietly.

 _Please I know you're in there,_

 _People are asking where you've been,_

 _They say have courage,_

 _And I'm trying to,_

 _I'm right out here for you,_

 _Just let me in,_

 _We only have each other,_

 _It's just you and me,_

 _What are we gonna do?_

However instead of this soothing the princess I heard tears through the melodies as they became increasingly melancholic. I then decided to go to sleep and hope she will join me in bed. However, as the night progressed she didn't seem to return and I knew it was going to be a long journey to her recovery. But I vowed to myself that I would be there every step of the way; no matter how long it takes.

 **~The next morning~**

 **Caroline's POV**

It was early morning and I was still up in the music room; composing wordless melodies that had formed in my mind. I found myself unable to sleep; even after I heard Erik pleading with me through the door. To be honest I don't know how I was able to stay awake for so long. Throughout the morning, I could hear people knocking on the door; trying to reach me and give me food. However I refused to answer or feed myself; I felt like I didn't deserve to have people looking after me. Especially after what happened to me. Hopefully soon they will understand the fact I don't want to be disturbed or talk to anyone. But knowing Erik, Antoinette and Nadir they will probably unlock the door to the music room at some point; even though I don't want to see them right now. Soon enough all was quiet outside the door and I decided to vacate to the sewing room. I felt the need to create something dark and spectacular; to reflect the current melancholic mood I was in. After reaching the sewing room without anyone seeing me; I picked out a deep dark red velvet material; before cutting out the pieces for a high necked long sleeved dress. For a while I forgot the world around me as a dress formed from the fabric pieces in front of me. I think there were people knocking on the door; but I chose to ignore them as I proceeded to finish the dress after half an hour or so. After finishing the dress I put it on and decided to create a matching hooded cloak from the same fabric. Once it was created; I decided to go outside since it was now late at night; and no-one would be around. But where had the time gone? It was morning last time I checked and now it is night-time; I am surprised I have gone on this long without food. As I walked around I unconsciously fingered the brand under my high neckline. Why did Raoul have to brand me in such a prominent place? I understand he wants everyone to know about the disability; but couldn't he have hidden it somewhere else? Maybe I should just run away; never to return or be seen by the kingdom. After all am I truly fit to be a ruler? Especially since the diagnosis; will I be able to rule fairly and properly just like my parents would have wanted? I shook my head at the thoughts clouding my head; swirling around like a whirlpool. I decided to sleep in the spare room tonight; as I didn't want to sleep beside Erik again tonight. After locking the door; I got out of my dress and into a nightgown; before climbing into bed and hoping for a night not haunted by nightmares...


	31. Chapter 30

**Hey guys another chapter :) Sorry it took so long :/ Combination of writer's block and stress :/ I am moving into my own place next week so that has been occupying my thoughts lately rather than fanfic writing :/ But I think this should appease Erik :)**

 **Erik: For now, but you should watch your back. If this tardiness happens again I won't be so lenient next time.**

 **Me: Right; I think I should get to the disclaimer before Erik punjabs me or something :/ As you know I don't own any lyrics or characters except my own :) Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome as always :) They might appease Erik too :) On with the show!**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Thirty: Let It Go...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~June 14** **th** **1908~**

It had been two months since I was kidnapped and branded by Raoul for the whole world to see my disability. However, during the two months I locked myself away I have been between the music and sewing room. Drinking very little and hardly eating; to be honest I don't know how I have survived this long.

It was like any other day; once again Antoinette, Erik and even Nadir had tried to coax me from my room to no avail. It was at that moment I decided to run away; to the summer house I had built for my parents. I had built it to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary; sadly they were killed before it was finished. So I decided to stay there in honour of my mother; the only person who ever truly understood me. After packing a few of my belongings I listened carefully for the presence of anyone outside my door. However I could hear someone outside my door and so I had to think of another way to escape from the castle. I then noticed all of the fabric surrounding me and I knew what I had to do. After tying most of the fabric together into a long strip; I threw it out of the window before grabbing my bag and slowly climbing down. Once my feet touched the ground I snuck towards the stable before listening carefully for signs of Stefan. Once I could tell the fact he was nowhere nearby; I saddled up Gris before proceeding to ride away from the castle. As I rode away I allowed the tears to finally fall; I guess all of the stress of the past two months or so have finally got to me. Soon enough I arrived at the castle by the sea and after clambering gracefully from Gris' back; I looked around with a sad, wistful smile. It was at that moment that I heard the notes of a song forming in my mind and I let my feelings out in song.

 _The moon glows white over the castle tonight,_

 _Not a soul to be seen,_

 _A kingdom of discrimination,_

 _And it looks like I'm no longer queen._

 _The sadness is swirling,_

 _Like a whirlpool deep inside,_

 _Couldn't keep it in,_

 _Heaven knows I tried._

 _Don't let them in,_

 _Don't let them see,_

 _Be the girl we expect you to be,_

 _Conceal, don't feel,_

 _Don't let them know,_

 _Well now they know!_

 _Let it go! Let it go!_

 _Can't hold it back anymore!_

 _Let it go! Let it go!_

 _Turn away and free my soul!_

 _I don't care,_

 _What they're going to say,_

 _Let the whirlpool swirl inside,_

 _The rules of convention never bothered anyway._

 _It's funny how some distance,_

 _Makes everything so clear now,_

 _And the fears that once held me back,_

 _Can't hold me back no more!_

 _It's time to set it free,_

 _To be who I am and break free,_

 _No rules, no convention, no discrimination for me,_

 _I'm free!_

 _Let it go! Let it go!_

 _I'm one with my quirkiness and soul!_

 _Let it go! Let it go!_

 _You'll never see me break down!_

 _Here I stand,_

 _And here I'm free,_

 _Let the whirlpool be free._

 _My soul spirals through me into the world,_

 _My quirks spiral in whirlpools all around,_

 _And one quirk bursts like a shooting star,_

 _I'm never going back,_

 _He'll never have my heart!_

 _Let it go! Let it go!_

 _And I'll rise like a phoenix out of the ashes!_

 _Let it go! Let it go!_

 _That perfect girl is no more!_

 _Here I stand!_

 _Under the stars,_

 _Let the whirlpool swirl on,_

 _The rules of convention never bothered me anyway._

"Caroline is that you?" A voice asked and I shook my head as I thought it was my head playing tricks with my mind.

"Please Caroline come back home; to me; to somewhere where people love and respect you." The voice pleaded again.

"You're just a figment of my imagination; please stop tormenting me! I am better off here; alone, where I can be who I am and not be discriminated or feared." I yelled as I covered my ears; hoping to block out the sound of his voice. But when I felt his arms around my waist; I found myself tensing under his touch. The tears also began to fall once again; as my feelings of self loathing; as well as my love for him became conflicted.

"Caroline you know I love you; no matter how you look. But everyone is worried sick about you; and all they want is for you to come home." He pleaded and the tears continued to fall.

"But I am no longer beautiful. And people will know about my disability; they will never respect me as their ruler or queen." I replied tearfully and instead of responding he started to sing the most beautiful song known to mankind.

 _Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation_

 _Darkness wakes and stirs imagination_

 _Silently the senses abandon their defenses_

 _Helpless to resist the notes I write_

 _For I compose the music of the night_

Were these the lyrics to the song he played at his father's funeral? But I shook my head as the song tried to weave its spell around my frozen heart.

 _Slowly, gently night unfurls it's splendour_

 _Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender_

 _Hearing is believing, music is deceiving_

 _Hard as lightening, soft as candlelight_

 _Dare you trust the music of the night_

Can I bring myself to trust music? I mean I should as it is the only thing in my life that has remained constant; and the only thing that doesn't judge me.

 _Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truth_

 _and the truth isn't what you want to see_

 _In the dark it is easy to pretend_

 _That the truth is what it ought to be_

What should the truth be though? Do I really want to see myself for who I am? A deformed freak that doesn't conform to society's ideologies?

 _Softly, deftly, music shall caress you_

 _hear it, fear it, secretly possess you_

 _Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind_

 _this darkness which you know you cannot fight_

 _The darkness of the music of the night_

But before I could stop myself I felt the ice begin to thaw that had formed around my heart.

 _Close your eyes, start a journey to a strange new world_

 _Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before_

 _Close your eyes and let music set you free_

 _Only then can you belong to me_

And I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me; before slowly running his hand down my hips; causing me to close my eyes in rapture.

 _Floating, falling, sweet intoxication_

 _Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation_

And I felt him take my hand before letting it touched the masked side of his face.

 _Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in_

 _To the power of the music that I write_

 _The power of the music of the night_

And before he could finish I turned around and kissed him hard on the lips; my hands weaving through his dark locks.

 _You alone can make the song take flight_

 _Help me make the music of the night_

He sang quietly when we finally parted for air.

"How can you still love me? I am no longer beautiful and the whole world will know about my disability. Will they take me seriously as their queen and ruler?" I asked sadly.

"I will love you until my last dying breath; and I will spend every day proving the depth of my love for you. But you will make a wonderful ruler; you have a gentle heart and you have such wonderful ideas that could help the kingdom." He said gently and I just wrapped my arms around his waist as the tears started to subside.

"Now let's get you back to the castle so we can have dinner together; I am surprised you haven't fainted from hunger yet." And with that I climbed onto Gris' back as Erik also climbed onto Caesar's back before riding back to the castle. Once we got to the castle I went up to my room to get ready for bed even though I hadn't eaten for a couple of months at least; however for some reason I had lost my appetite. But there waiting for me was a huge bath tub; with hot steaming water and the smell of lavender and roses emanating from it.

"What's all this? When did this come here?" I asked curiously with a small laugh.

"Before I left to find you; I asked the maids that when you come home; to make you a bath. I'll get you something to eat whilst you have your bath. Once you are done just ring the bell and the maid will come in to help you change." He replied gently and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder before leaving a small bell beside the bath tub.

"Let me just get a maid to bring up some food; you haven't eaten for two months and you need to eat something. I don't like seeing you starving yourself." He continued before making his way towards the door. But before he could leave I grabbed him firmly around the arm.

"Please don't leave me alone." I pleaded tearfully and I could feel the tears prickling my eyes; but without letting them fall for a second.

"Please don't cry; I won't leave you alone if you wish it. Just ask it of me and I will stay. Are you sure you don't mind me being around?" He replied passionately as he enveloped me within his embrace.

"I don't mind; I trust you with my life not to touch me or take any liberties. That's one of the things that made me fall in love with you." I replied and with that I showed him my back; so he could help me with the laces. Once I could breathe he turned around and so I clambered into the bath before asking meekly.

"Could you wash my back please? I can't really reach." And I sighed a little as a moment later I felt the sponge on my back. I then closed my eyes in rapture as he proceeded to wash my hair.

"You seem to be enjoying that darling; maybe I should wash your hair more often Mon ange."

"I'd like that darling." I cooed and I craned my neck as best as I could to look up at him with a smile. Once I had finished my bath I saw Erik holding out a towel for me before he wrapped me within its soft embrace. He then helped me into a nightgown before going to settle down for bed. But before he could get in there was a knock at the door.

"I better get that; that will be the maid with the food." He said matter of factly as he went to answer the door. He then brought in a tray with a simple spread of meat, bread, cheese and some fruit. Once we ate we settled down in bed together before Erik wrapped his arm around my waist. My smile broadened and I closed my eyes a little in contentment when he smelled my hair.

"I think I should wash your hair more often; I love how it feels; so soft." He whispered causing me to shiver a little; I guess Erik's soothing tenor affected me more than I imagined it would. However, it appeared Erik misinterpreted my reaction as he loosened his grip around my waist and asked gently.

"Are you cold? Is something wrong? You shivered."

"I'm fine." I replied quietly as I snuggled deeper into his chest. I guess I didn't want to admit to the feelings I was experiencing; especially since I didn't fully understand what I was feeling yet.

"Talk to me please; I can tell something is on your mind. We shouldn't hide things from each other anymore." He cooed gently and I sighed a little. How can I explain the fact I am experiencing things I don't understand? Would he judge me for reacting in such a way or would he be happy for me?

"I'm sorry if I worried you excessively; I wasn't cold or scared or anything." I replied quietly; hoping that would appease him.

"There's something you're not telling me isn't there? Why won't you tell me? Are you ashamed of something? Is it something you don't quite understand? I am here for you and will not judge you; no matter what." He beseeched and he turned me around to face him.

"I shivered because of your voice; I find it quite attractive actually and it affected me more than I realised." I replied quietly. I then proceeded to kiss him passionately on the lips; before starting to weave my fingers through his dark hair. As the kiss progressed; I could feel his hands roaming my body. However I found myself pulling away with a whimper when I felt his hands on my brand. I then turned around in bed; the tears falling heavily down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry for being so forward mon ange." He cooed as he wrapped his arm around my waist before kissing the top of my head.

"Goodnight Erik." I said quietly as I let sleep take over...


	32. Chapter 31

**Another chapter :) Sorry it took so long since the last one came out :/ At least Erik can't try killing me like last time :)**

 **Erik: You sure about that? *Holds lasso menacingly***

 **Me: A, if you kill me this story will never be finished. B, the main character is loosely based off myself. so you definitely can't kill me**

 **Erik: Damn your logic...**

 **Me: But that's why you love me; or my character anyway ;) Now on with the show :) As you know I don't own any characters from Phantom or any lyrics mentioned :) Credit goes to Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice for those :) Constructive criticism is welcome, flames will be doused by the power of Erik's lasso :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Thirty-One: Our Passion Play Has Now At Last Begun...**

 **Erik's POV**

 **~June 15** **th** **1908~**

I woke up the next morning to see Caroline sleeping fitfully beside me.

"Caroline? Wake up it is only a nightmare; nothing can hurt you here. Please wake up mon ange." I cooed, as I stroked her back soothingly.

"Please don't be dead!" She yelled out with a start, as she broke down in a fit of tears.

"Caroline, it's ok, I'm here. Do you want to talk about it?" I asked gently.

"I remember seeing faces; so many faces. They were expressionless and dark; but one stood out. Before I could confront or think about escaping them, I heard something drop. When I turned around, I saw you lying on the floor. You had a noose around your neck; like the one you carry around sometimes. You were dead; but not by a broken neck. You were killed by a single stab wound to your heart. And that's when I woke up." She replied tearfully, as her sobs became small hiccups.

"Do you remember the man in your dream?" I asked gently, as I continued to rub small circles on her back.

"Of course. How could I forget the man, who has been pursuing me, for the past two years?" She replied quietly.

"Raoul De Chagny was responsible?" I replied breathlessly and I saw her nod subtly in response.

"Why would you be dreaming about him now? We haven't seen or heard from him in a while. The last time we saw him was the night he first kidnapped you." I replied matter of factly, as I wrapped her within my embrace.

"Stay here. I'll get us some breakfast." I said gently. I then unravelled my arm from her shoulders, and proceeded to get up. But a hand on my wrist stopped me for a moment.

"Please Erik, don't leave me alone. What happens if he comes back? What happens if the nightmare haunts my mind again?" She pleaded tearfully.

"Nightmares only haunt you when you sleep. I won't be far. If you need me, just call my name. I'll be here to protect you, always." I said gently. Before going out into the corridor. Noticing the fact she didn't call out my name this time. Was she starting to trust me again?

"Could you bring up a tray of pastries please? And some cold meat and cheese." I asked Marie who was cleaning nearby.

"Of course your majesty." And with a curtsy, I watched as Marie left down the corridor, towards the stairs. I then went back into the bedroom, to see Caroline sitting up in bed. She was staring dazedly out of the window.

"Glad to see you up. Breakfast should be here any minute now." And just as I finished my sentence, there was a light knock at the door.

"Here's the breakfast as you requested your majesty." She said with a curtsy.

"Thank you Marie. That's all the assistance I need for now." I replied, as I took the tray from her. I then closed the door with my foot, before taking the tray towards the bed. I placed the tray down in front of Caroline, before going to the wardrobe to pick out an outfit for today.

"Are you not going to join me? Your face doesn't scare me. You can take off your mask if you want; if it makes it easier for you to eat with it off." She asked quietly. Looking up at me with sadness in her eyes. I guess she has noticed the fact, I usually eat before she does, or keep my mask on whilst I eat.

"Sorry, I won't be joining you today. I'm not hungry and have a lot of errands to run. But I thank you for your concern darling." I replied quietly, hoping she would drop the subject.

"Please Erik don't shut me out. Talk to me please, I want to help. But I can tell you need to eat something. But promise me that when you eat with me, you remove the mask. I'll ensure it is just us eating together, so no-one else sees your face, not unless you are ready for them to see." She beseeched. Moving the tray out of the way before slowly coming towards me. Passion evident in her eyes. I then closed my eyes in fear and rapture, as she removed the mask from my face. As the air hit my face, I waited for the inevitable screams of fear to ensue. However, I let the tears fall, as I felt her small hand, gently touch my face. Paying attention to every ridge and crevice present. How did I become so lucky in meeting such a wonderful woman? This woman who looks at my face, without fear or revulsion.

"I'm sorry for making you cry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just concerned for your wellbeing. I don't like seeing you starve yourself." She cooed gently, as she wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I'm not upset, these are tears of joy. No-one has willingly touched my face before." I said quietly. Following her towards the bed, the tray still abandoned on the surface, before picking up a pastry. We ate in contemplative silence, as I thought about the errands I needed to complete today.

"So what needs doing today?" Caroline asked curiously. Causing me to mentally shake my head, as I realised my mind had wandered a bit.

"Sorry, I did not mean to ignore you at all. That was not my intention. Mostly it is filling in paperwork today. Sorry I have nothing interesting planned yet. How about in the afternoon we go out for a ride? Then have a moonlit picnic under the stars."

"I'd like that. I think I might do some reading, whilst you sort out paperwork. I'll also let the kitchen staff know of our plans this evening, in regards to dinner." She replied. And with that she grabbed one last pastry, before proceeding to leave out of the door.

"Shouldn't you change first darling?" And I laughed deeply, when a blush graced her cheeks, as she looked down at her current attire. She selected an outfit from the wardrobe before going towards the bathroom to change. I guess she was still self conscious about her figure; especially after the branding. She came out a moment later; the lacings still undone in the back.

"Could you help me with the lacings darling?" She asked quietly. Once done to both our satisfactions. Tight enough to at least appease her, but not tight enough to hurt her, she left out of the room. Leaving me to quickly change before going towards my study.

After a couple of hours of filling in paperwork, I heard the most beautiful melody emanating down the corridor. Curious to find the source of the song, I got up from my desk, before proceeding down the corridor. I found myself outside the music room a moment later. The strains of a violin still could be heard from inside. I guess Caroline must have got bored of reading, or felt inspired to compose instead. I waited outside until she finished, knowing how much she hates being interrupted when composing. It is funny really, how similar we are in habits. Yet she was diagnosed with Autism, whilst I was not. As I listened to the music she was playing, I thought about the discovery Bleumont made. What did he mean when he said she had a different kind of Autism? One he had never seen before? Will his ongoing research unearth anything more about my wife's condition? I was shaken out of my reverie when I heard the door open.

"Erik, what are you doing out here for? I thought you were filling in paperwork." Caroline asked curiously.

"I didn't want to interrupt you whilst you were composing; I know how much that upsets you. I finished the paperwork, and was entranced by the music emanating down the corridor. I just had to find its source."

"Thank you, I just finished composing it today. I call it 'Silence is All You Know'. I am not sure whether to include lyrics or not yet though."

"It sounds beautiful. I think it will sound magical with some lyrics though." I replied, as she allowed me to enter the room. Her violin sitting on a nearby table and the written music on a music stand.

"I'll keep that advice in mind, thank you." She replied thoughtfully.

"Would you like to go on a ride?" I asked gently.

"I'd like that. Shall I get something for dinner from the kitchen?" She replied curiously.

"We can do that yes. I'll ask Stefan to saddle up the horses, whilst you get some food together. Also, it might be a good idea, to retrieve a rug or blanket too." And so we went our separate ways, with me going towards the stables.

"Ah Stefan, just the person I want to see. Could you saddle Gris and Caesar for me please? The princess and I are going out for a ride this afternoon."

"Of course your majesty. I'll get on that right away." He replied with a small bow. With that he went about saddling up the horses. I then left to put on an outfit more suitable for riding. As I walked down the corridor, I nearly bumped into Caroline, carrying a basket on her arm and a rug under her other arm.

"Here let me help you with that basket. I was just changing into my riding outfit. Do you need some help changing into your outfit too?" I asked gently, hoping she wouldn't reject my offer of assistance.

"I would be grateful for some assistance, thank you." She replied, causing a smile to form on my lips. We made our way upstairs before selecting our riding outfits from the relevant wardrobes.

"Why don't you get changed in the bathroom, whilst I change out here? I'll help you with the lacings, all you need to do is call my name, and I'll be there." And I watched as she took her clothes into the adjacent bathroom. I then quickly changed into my riding outfit. Just as I finished putting on my jacket, I saw Caroline leave the bathroom. She turned her back towards me, to which I quickly tightened the laces in the back of her dress.

"All set ready for a ride?" I asked. Caroline nodded in agreement, so we left out of the door. As we made our way to the stables, rug and basket in arm, I heard a melody teasing my ears. The melody had something to do with the opera, I have been writing for years now. Finally I have thought of lyrics for the final aria.

"I just need to retrieve a couple of items. I'll meet you outside momentarily." I explained, going in the direction of the music room. I retrieved some paper and a pen, as well as my violin, before making my way back to the stables. Once we arrive at my favourite spot by the waterfall, I can show the princess my magnum opus. I got outside, to see the princess sitting atop her horse.

"I thought you weren't ever going to come out, and that I would have to go in after you." Caroline said teasingly.

"Sorry about the delay Mon ange. A melody came to mind. And once the lyrics are written down, I want to perform it to you." I replied, before climbing atop of Caesar and riding towards the waterfall in the outskirts of our kingdom.

"Is it to do with the opera you have been writing?" She asked curiously, as she followed suit.

"It's a surprise." I replied cryptically, a deep laugh escaping when she pouted a little.

"You always talk in riddles." She said, as she looked at me with puppy dog eyes.

"What can I say? I like to throw surprises, especially for my beautiful wife." I said teasingly, as the lake and waterfall came into view. Once we disembarked from the saddle, I laid out the picnic rug, on the ground near the lake. I then set out the food Caroline packed in a separate saddle bag. We sat and ate in quiet contemplation, as we looked over the lake. All the while, we were watching the swans, swimming on the surface. I watched with a smile as Caroline went to the edge of the lake, and held out her hand towards the swans. She then giggled when the swan, ate the piece of bread from her hand. I got out my violin and proceeded to tune it, before playing the first notes. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, the fact she closed her eyes, and started swaying to the music. I then opened my mouth to sing.

 **[Erik]**

 _Past the point of no return, no backward glances  
The games of make believe are at an end  
Past all thought of if or when, no use resisting  
Abandon thought and let the dream descend_

 _What raging fire shall flood the soul?  
What rich desire unlocks its door?  
What sweet seduction lies before us?_

 _Past the point of no return, the final threshold  
What warm unspoken secrets will we learn?  
Beyond the point of no return_

I was surprised when Caroline opened her mouth and started to sing. Where had my timid little angel gone? Somehow she had been replaced with this passionate, headstrong woman in front of me.

 **[Caroline]**

 _You have brought me  
To that moment when words run dry  
To that moment when speech disappears  
Into silence, silence_

 _I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why  
In my mind I've already imagined  
Our bodies entwining defenceless and silent  
And now I am here with you  
No second thoughts, I've decided, decided_

 _Past the point of no return, no going back now  
Our passion play has now at last begun  
Past all thought of right or wrong, one final question  
How long should we two wait, before we're one?_

 _When will the blood begin to race?  
The sleeping bud burst into bloom?  
When will the flames at last consume us?_

We harmonised beautifully, as the notes climaxed and echoed around the lake, forming into the most beautiful crescendo.

 **[Both]**

 _Past the point of no return, the final threshold  
The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn  
We've passed the point of no return_

 **[Erik]**

 _Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime  
Lead me, save me from my solitude  
Say you want me with you here beside you_

 _Anywhere you go let me go too  
Caroline, that's all I ask of..._

I didn't get to finish my sentence, as Caroline wrapped her arms around my neck, before bringing me down for a passionate kiss. I smiled into it, as her small hands weaved themselves through my hair. Where had this passion come from? Did my music really have such a profound effect on the princess? I then felt her hands roaming my chest.

"As much as I would like to continue this, I think it would be more suitable to continue this back at the castle." I said breathily. With a nod, we packed up the rug and food, before riding back towards the castle. Once we got back, and left the horses in the stable, I resumed kissing Caroline passionately on the lips. We didn't stop to breathe as we entered the castle. I lifted Caroline from the ground, carrying her up the stairs in my arms, whilst continuing to kiss her. Once we reached the bedroom, I placed her down on the ground for a moment, stopping for breath.

"Are you sure you want this? Tell me to stop, and I will stop." I asked slowly, placing my hands gently on her shoulders.

"I think I've been feeling this for a while. I just never had the courage, to follow through with my feelings before." She replied quietly. She kissed me on the lips, her hands delving into my hair again. As we continued to kiss, I gently led her towards the bed, before laying her down gently. I looked down and noticed fear and apprehension swirling in her eyes.

"It's ok. I won't hurt you. I'll be gentle and teach you along the way. My father taught me a lot of things, including what to do in the marital bed." I cooed gently. Even though the apprehension was still there, it was less prevalent than before. I took off my shirt, giving Caroline time to roam my chest, before taking off her dress. I shivered as her hands touched my chest. She stopped suddenly and said quietly.

"I'm sorry, do you not like that? Am I hurting you?"

"On the contrary, I find it to be quite pleasurable. Please don't stop." I pleaded huskily.

"I'm going to remove your dress. If you don't want me to, tell me to stop, and I will." I said gently, wrapping her gently within my embrace. I touched the laces at the back, smiling when she didn't shy away from my touch. I slipped the dress off, but kept on the corset and chemise, until she was ready to take off another layer. I also kept my trousers on, as I wanted to take things slow, and not scare her. I kissed her gently, as my hands slowly roamed her body. I worshipped every inch of her body, like she was one of my instruments. As I moved my lips down to kiss her neck, I heard small mewls of pleasure, being released from her lips. I started to nip the skin a little, leaving my mark. Sighs of ecstasy began to emanate around the room.

"Please Erik." She breathed pleadingly. I slowly undid the laces in the back of her corset, before slowly peeling it from her body. However, for a moment, it was like all of her previous confidence and passion, had somehow melted away, as she tried to shy away from my gaze. What happened to her confidence and passion, causing her to want to hide her body from me?

"You're so beautiful." I breathed, stroking the side of her body gently with my hand. She shivered visibly under my ministrations. I kissed her again, as my hands wandered down to her breasts, small but perfectly formed, for my large hands. I cupped one of them in my hand, before squeezing and rolling them gently. Her eyes fluttered shut, as she arched her back and moaned a little. I rolled her erect nipple between my fingers.

"Erik." She breathed, arching her back to get closer to my fingers. I slowly peeled off her chemise, gasping at the beauty I saw before me.

"Am I dreaming? If I am, I don't want to wake up, ever." I breathed, before kissing her on the lips. I smiled into the kiss, as her tongue licked my lips. I opened my mouth, to allow it to invade my mouth. I pulled away a little, before moving my mouth down towards her breasts. Not giving her time to give a whine of complaint, I licked and swirled my tongue around her nipple. It appeared the princess was particularly sensitive, to feelings of arousal and pleasure, as she moaned in pleasure under my ministrations. My fingers travelled down to her centre, to see how her body would react to me entering her. However, as I slowly pushed a finger inside of her centre, I felt her tense at the intrusion.

"Sssh...sssh, its ok, I love you, and I would never hurt you." I cooed. Removing my finger, before kissing her on the lips. I decided to try a different tactic, to get her relaxed enough, to accept the intrusion. I moved my mouth down past her breasts, before plunging my tongue into her opening. As I nibbled on her clit, I could feel her hips moving towards my mouth, and her body shivering in pleasure. A moment later I heard her scream out my name in pleasure, as an orgasm shook her body. Her juices coating her centre and my lips.

"That felt wonderful." She breathed.

"Are you ready mon ange?" I asked gently, as I rubbed circles on her back, causing her to shiver a little. She nodded slowly, as the pleasure continued to ripple through her body. After removing my trousers, I went to enter her. However, before I could do so, I felt her body tense beneath my touch.

"Are you sure you're ready? We don't have to do this if you don't want to." I cooed gently.

"I'm afraid." She replied quietly.

"I won't lie to you, it will hurt, but only for a little while. But I promise, to make this the most pleasurable moment, you will ever experience, in your life." I cooed. Once again I tried to enter her, this time there was only a little resistance from her. I quickly thrusted into her, a whimper was released, as I broke through her barrier. I noticed the tears trailing down her cheeks, and I kissed each one away individually. Soon enough, I felt her body loosen up. So I started to thrust in and out slowly, to which she started to meet my thrusts with her hips. I was close to release, and so was the princess, as I quickened my thrusts and her walls started to clamp around my length. We screamed out in ecstasy simultaneously, as my seed was shot into her womb.

"That was beautiful, and I felt beautiful." She breathed out in awe, as I remained inserted in her body. I slowly went to pull out, but stopped when I felt her tense a little.

"I'm sorry, does that hurt?" I asked gently.

"A little." She replied quietly, wincing a little.

"I won't pull out until morning. For now, sleep Mon ange. I'll ask the maids to run a bath for you in the morning." I cooed gently, before kissing the top of her head. Once her breathing evened out, I remembered the experience I felt, for the first time in my life; pleasure. Who would have thought a monster like me, would find the love of a woman? Let alone experience her love or evoke such pleasure in her body? Soon enough the thoughts stopped swirling around my head, to which I fell peacefully asleep, my arm wrapped around her waist...


	33. Chapter 32

**Another chapter :) I would like to thank all of my loyal readers for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing my previous chapter :) Sadly though, the story is coming to an end :( That is another story that will soon finish. However, that means I can get on with writing other awesome fanfics :)**

 **Erik: You are abandoning me...**

 **Me: Not really. Just finishing this story. It can't go on forever you know T_T**

 **Erik: Can't you make an exception?**

 **Me: As much as I'd like to. I am not sure how the readers would react to this story going on forever. Plus I am running out of ideas on how to make this story go on forever. However, I will be writing other Phantom fanfics, so that should appease you right?**

 **Erik: I guess. But I am still unhappy about the fact you are abandoning me :(**

 **Me: As you know, I only own my OC :) Any characters from Phantom or lyrics mentioned I do not own, they belong to their respective owners :) Now on with the show :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Thirty-Two: When you are Near, Music is all Around...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~June 16** **th** **1908~**

I woke up the next morning, to see Erik sleeping peacefully beside me. His arm wrapped around my waist, and still conjoined with me. My thoughts then drifted back to what occurred last night. How beautiful I felt; and how wonderful it felt. My father instilled the belief in me, that no-one could ever love me. Unless they were different like myself or the marriage was arranged. Even if the marriage was arranged however, my father couldn't guarantee the love, I so passionately craved. I felt Erik shift, and he opened his blue eyes, as he looked at me with a smile.

"How did you sleep darling? Are you in any pain at all?"

"I slept good thanks, since I was sleeping in your embrace. You make me feel safe, protected. I am still in a little pain though." I replied quietly.

"I'm going to pull out now, and I'll get the maids to run a bath for you. It should help ease the pain." I winced as he slowly pulled out, before he leaned over and rung the bell. I watched as he went to get up, to get ready for the day.

"Please stay with me. I don't want to be left alone." I pleaded quietly, as I grabbed his hand.

"I'll stay with you. Would you like me to join you?" He asked, to which I nodded in reply, just as a knock on the door was heard.

"I'll get that, you stay where you are." He said gently, before quickly grabbing a robe from nearby and wrapping it around his body.

"Thank you for the water Marie. I'll take over from here." He replied, before taking the water and filling the tub with it. He lifted me out of the bed, still wrapped in the bed sheet, before unravelling me from it, and placing me gently in the bath. He soon followed suit by clambering in behind me. I smiled and leaned back a little, as he wrapped his arm around my waist, and kissed the top of my head.

"So, what would you like to do today?" He asked curiously.

"I would like to go for a ride, the weather is so beautiful. Also I enjoyed being next to the waterfall, whilst having a picnic." I replied quietly.

"Then we shall do that, whatever keeps my wife happy. We will need to plan and talk about the upcoming coronation though. Even though I know you are not looking forward to it." He replied quietly, causing me to sigh a little in irritation. I know now the marriage was consummated, I am to have my coronation, but that didn't mean I was excited by the prospect. It will be the one day, when I have to uphold standards, and pretend to be someone I am not. That perfect little girl my father wanted, rather than the girl he got, with quirks and differences. Was I ever going to please my father? Even though he was no longer alive, and so didn't have a reason to judge me so.

"Are you ok? You are spacing out and you're shivering." A voice asked gently.

"Don't worry, I am fine. I guess the water is starting to become a little cold." I replied quietly.

"Let's get you washed then, and ready to start the day." With that he grabbed a bar of soap, before proceeding to massage it into my hair, and down my body. I shivered as he continued his ministrations, not from the cold, but from pleasure. Without any warning, in a move that surprised even me, I turned around and kissed Erik hard on the lips. As the kiss grew more passionate, I allowed my hands to roam his chest. My legs wrapping instinctively around his hips, his desire evident as it poked my stomach.

"You play with fire Mon ange." He growled, as his hand travelled down to my right breast. I gasped as he squeezed and fondled the nipple, until it hardened. He proceeded to give the same attention to my left nipple, as it soon hardened under his ministrations. The temperature of the water was soon forgotten, as my body felt like it was on fire. I shivered and cried out in pleasure, as he inserted a finger into my centre. I felt my body tense and clamp around his finger, as I climaxed and an orgasm rocked my body.

"We should get out of the bath, before you catch a cold. We'll continue this later." He said breathily, as I still shivered, partly from cold, and partly from the aftermath of the orgasm I experienced. He clambered out of the bath, before wrapping himself in a towel. He then proceeded to lift me out, and quickly wrap me in a towel. We each proceeded to our respective wardrobes, before pulling out a suitable outfit for the day. I ensured I thought about the ride later, as I picked out my outfit. Erik picked out his usual customary, white ruffled shirt and tight black trousers. Whilst I decided to wear one of the dresses I created, which I made suitable for riding.

"I think after breakfast, we should start making arrangements for your coronation. How about we have it occur at the beginning of July?"

"I think that is a good time to do the coronation. I think I would like to make my coronation gown, if that is agreeable with you."

"It is agreeable with me. I know how much you like to make dresses, for special occasions. What colour are you picking?"

"I'm thinking red, in honour of my mother, it's what she wore to her coronation. At least from what I've seen in the paintings; and what I have heard from my father."

"Do you need to purchase some fabric?" He asked curiously.

"Yes, I do." I replied quietly.

"Let's set up the carriage, and ride into town. We can pick up some pastries for breakfast whilst we are there." With a nod, we went down towards the stables, before setting up the carriage. We then rode our way into town. Once we arrived, and parked up the carriage, I went towards the fabric store, whilst Erik went to purchase some pastries. As I looked around, I thought about the impending coronation. Would my parents be proud of the woman I have become? I know my mother would be, but what about my father? What would he have to say about the woman I have become? I know I am not the perfect daughter, and no-one can expect anything less from me, but do I have to be normal to be considered a good queen? My thoughts were distracted however, when I saw the perfect fabric, for the dress I wanted to make. It was bright scarlet red, with a fleur de leys pattern in black. Once the appropriate amount of fabric was purchased, I went back to the carriage, to wait for Erik. However, as I waited for Erik, I looked around nervously.

"Are you ok Caroline? You've turned pale, and you're shaking." Erik asked gently, as he came up to me, before touching me on the shoulder.

"Can't you feel it too?"

"Feel what Mon ange?"

"Like you're being watched." I replied quietly. Was I going mad? Was I imagining things?

"Now you mention it, I can faintly sense a presence nearby, but I can't see anyone we should be overly worried about." He explained matter of factly.

"Why don't we go back to the castle? So we can plan the details of your coronation, and allow you to start making your coronation gown." He continued. And so, after boarding the carriage, we went back to the castle. All thoughts of the presence I sensed, all but disappeared from my mind. Once we got back to the castle, we went straight to my sewing room. Allowing me to start making my dress, whilst discussing the coronation ceremony, at the same time.

"So, the ceremony is to occur in two weeks time. I think we should have flowers in the room, lots of roses. Also, we will be holding a big celebration party after you get crowned queen. It will have a masquerade theme, naturally." Erik explained quickly, as I cut out the pieces needed to put the dress together.

"I guess we should think about costumes." I said excitedly.

"We should yes. I think it would be nice to go in matching costumes, enjoy the masquerade as a proper married couple." With that reply, I decided to think about the costumes to design. I thought of using my coronation gown, as the base for the costumes. But what could we go as? Would it be out of place to go as Count Dracula and his wife? Or would it be unsuitable to have Halloween-themed costumes in June?

"Would it be deemed strange, for you to go as Count Dracula? When I looked at my coronation gown, it makes me think of Count Dracula for some reason." I asked curiously.

"I don't think it is strange at all, because you are just being you." Erik replied, causing me to smile a little at his understanding.

"Well, since the pieces are cut, I think we should go on that picnic we planned this morning. Especially since it is coming up to lunch time" I said excitedly.

"How about you saddle the horses, whilst I get some food together?" Erik asked gently. With a nod, I went in the direction of the stables, after grabbing a couple of apples first. Once I got to the stables, I went up to Gris and Caesar, before feeding them an apple each. I stroked Caesar's nose, as he nuzzled my head a little.

"It's funny how much Caesar trusts you, he usually only trusts me." A voice said gently. I turned around to see Erik coming towards me, with a saddle bag tucked under one arm, a couple of blankets tucked under the other.

"I guess I've always had a way with animals. I like the fact they don't judge you, that they trust you completely." I replied wistfully.

"Yes, animals have a way of touching our hearts, and showing us love and acceptance." He replied thoughtfully, as he stroked Caesar's nose. To which Caesar nuzzled his hand a little. Once we mounted the horses, we rode towards the waterfall, which seems to be our favourite place at the moment. As we ate our simple meal of bread, meat and cheese, I thought about what happened in town today. What was this presence I sensed? Was I sensing Raoul? Why would he be observing me so closely?

"I think we should post guards at the ceremony." Erik said suddenly. How did he have this ability to know what I was thinking?

"That's funny; I was just thinking the same thing. Especially after the presence I sensed today; I think it belonged to Raoul."

"The De Chagny boy?" He asked confusingly, to which I nodded in agreement. We then just sat and enjoyed the view, watching the sun make the waterfall sparkle, like diamonds. I smiled and leaned back, as Erik wrapped an arm around my waist. I looked up, as Erik leant down, before kissing me on the lips. As I melted into the kiss, he turned me around, before laying me down gently on the blanket we were sitting on. I unconsciously wrapped my legs around his hips, as his hand travelled up my skirt. As he moved to kiss my neck, he breathed.

"Now where were we?" Causing me to shiver a little.

"Please..." I pleaded breathily, as I gripped his lapels hard. I sat up a little, to allow him to undo the laces on my dress, whilst I slowly unbuttoned his shirt.

"You're so beautiful." He breathed, before paying particular attention to the brand on my neck. To which I tried to curl up and hide it from his ministrations.

"Please, don't hide yourself from me. You are beautiful, and I will show you everyday how much I love you." He cooed. He kissed me again, as he ran his hands up and down my back. Unconsciously I found my hands roaming his chest, to which he shivered in response and let out a breathy sigh.

"You play with fire ma petite rose." He said huskily, as he trailed his hand down to my breasts. I gasped as he took one in his hand, rolling and pulling the nipple, until it hardened.

"Please Erik." I gasped out pleadingly, as he moved his hand away, but not paying attention to the other breast. He removed the corset and chemise, before taking the other breast in his mouth, causing me to arch my back. He swirled and licked the nipple with his tongue, whilst inserting two fingers into my centre. However, instead of letting the orgasm rock my body, like he usually does, he pulled out early and I mewled a little in displeasure.

"I want to try something different, could you go on your hands and knees?" He asked gently. I did as he asked, wondering what he was planning exactly, as I felt the need for him to be inside of me. Without any warning, he thrusted into me from behind. Causing me to gasp and arch my back, hoping to get him deeper inside my body. I could feel the orgasm forming, as he hit my clitoris, with each thrust of his hips. We screamed out each other's names simultaneously, as I climaxed and Erik's seed filled my body.

"That was amazing. I didn't realise it could be so beautiful." I breathed, as Erik wrapped a blanket around my bare body.

"It can be, in the hands of the right man. I think you had the belief instilled that the act was purely to bear an heir, rather than to show the bond and love, between husband and wife." He said quietly, as he stroked my hair. I hummed thoughtfully in response.

"I guess the only thing my father wanted, was for me to marry a respectable man, and to bear his children. Love never really came into the equation for my father. I think he just believed that no-one could ever love me, and that my purpose in life was just to continue the family line."

"I strive to show you love and devotion, every day, for the rest of your life." He said passionately, to which I felt tears prick my eyes. I then felt his index finger touch my cheek gently, making me realise I was actually crying.

"I think we should start heading back, it's getting late and I don't want you catching a cold." He said gently. And so, after wiping my eyes, I quickly changed, before packing up the picnic things and clambering onto Gris' back. We arrived back at the castle, to see maids bustling about.

"Your majesty, your highness, dinner is waiting for you in the dining room." I heard the butler say, and so we made our way towards the dining room. As we ate in contemplative silence, I thought back to the waterfall and what occurred there.

"Penny for your thoughts?" A voice asked teasingly and I mentally shook my head when I realised my mind was wandering.

"Weren't you afraid of being caught earlier? Especially in such a compromising position." I asked curiously.

"Isn't a man allowed to show his wife how much he desires her, whenever he wants and sees fit? Also the waterfall is part of my kingdom, no-one would dare trespass there, unless they had a death wish." He replied teasingly.

"Of course, I can't believe we did that in public though." I said quietly in response. Once we finished eating, we went to the library. Where we sat in front of the fire, and read a book together, until I could no longer keep my eyes open.

"Come along Mon ange, I think it's time we turned in for the night." Erik said gently, as he tried to prise the book I was reading from my hands. But I kept a death grip on the book, as I whined.

"But I'm not tired!" Before another yawn escaped.

"I think your body says otherwise." And with that, I reluctantly let him put away the book, before carrying me bridal style, towards the bedroom. He placed me down on the ground, before going towards the chest of drawers.

"Why don't you wash whilst I get ready?" He asked gently.

"Please don't leave me alone." I pleaded, as I grabbed his wrist gently.

"Are you sure? I don't want to push you too hard or fast." He asked gently.

"I've never been surer about anything in my life. You make me feel safe and protected, you could never hurt me." I cooed gently, as I placed my hands on his chest, where his heart was beating erratically. We went into the bathroom together, with our respective nightwear in our arms. Once we were washed and dressed, Erik helped me into my silk nightgown, before changing himself into a pair of black silk trousers, without a shirt. We then slipped under the silken sheets, to keep us cool during the warm nights, with Erik wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Good night Mon ange." He whispered, kissing the top of my head.

"Good night Erik." I replied quietly, before closing my eyes and allowing my breathing to even out.

I was woken up in the early hours of the morning by a scream. All I could see was the image of Raoul killing Erik in front of me; next he killed me, before stealing away our child into the night. But why am I seeing an image of a child I haven't had yet?

"Caroline, speak to me please!" I heard a voice pleading through the haziness of my mind. But how was Erik still alive? I thought Raoul killed him.

"Erik is that you? How are you still here?" I asked quietly.

"What do you mean Mon ange? I'm here, I've always been here." He cooed gently, as he stroked my hand, which broke me out of my dream-hazed reverie.

"But it felt so real...I watched you die in front of me...before I felt my life slipping away...as he stole our child away into the night."

"It's ok, it was just a dream, and nothing can hurt you." He cooed, embracing me before stroking my back.

"Yet while he lives, he will haunt us till we're dead." I muttered, as the tears continued to fall.

"What would you like to do today? Since it is already morning and you are up." He asked gently, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"I would like to get started on putting my dress together." I replied thoughtfully.

"Well I've got to get the details together for the coronation, plus get the guards ready for the occasion." He replied quickly, which saddened me a little. Maybe in the evening, we could spend the day together, just being husband and wife. After washing and changing, we went down to the dining room, where breakfast was waiting for us. We went our separate ways, as I went towards the sewing room, whilst Erik went towards his study. As I pinned and sewn my dress together, I thought about the dream I had. Why would I have a dream about a child I haven't had yet? Why would he kill me if he wanted me alive before? Was it just over imagination on my part? Or would he truly kill me just to steal our child? If he was able to steal my child, what would he do to him or her? Would he influence and manipulate them? Make them evil just like him? However, I was shaken out of my reverie, by the most beautiful music I have ever heard. But where was it coming from? I started wandering the castle, listening to the music as I went. I reached the music room and I smiled as the music washed over me. I just stood outside the door and listened, as I swayed to the music, recognising it as the song I composed called 'Silence is All You Know'. I wasn't sure when the music ended, as I was shaken out of my reverie, by someone touching me gently on the shoulder.

"Are you ok? Have you finished your dress?"

"I have almost finished it, but I was distracted by the music and I had to investigate. The song I composed sounds beautiful on the piano." I replied quietly.

"I thought it might sound different if played on the piano. So I have written the notes, however the lyrics are still proving elusive to me." He replied, as he led me inside.

"Will you play it again please? I think it is beautiful." I asked quietly. With a nod, he poised his fingers above the keys, before playing the notes again. As the notes were played, I could hear the lyrics forming in my mind. Before I could stop myself, I started singing them out loud.

 _[Caroline]_

 _When you're alone, silence is all you'll know._

 _When you're alone, silence is all you'll know._

 _Let in the noise and let it grow._

I was surprised when Erik started singing the next verse. But how did he know what I was thinking or how to complete the lyrics? It was almost like we inspired each other, to create such beautiful music together.

 **[Erik]**

 **When you're alone, silence is all you see.**

 **When you're alone, silence is all you'll be**

 **Give me your hand and come to me.**

I followed his instructions and walked slowly towards him, before placing my hand in his larger one.

 _[Caroline]_

 _When you are here, music is all around._

 _When you are near, music is all around._

 _Open your eyes, don't make a sound._

 _ **[Both]**_

 _ **Let in the shadow, let in the shadow,**_

 _ **Let in the light of your bright shadow.**_

 _ **Let in the shadow, let in the shadow.**_

 _ **Let in the light of your bright shadow.**_

 _ **Let in the light.**_

 _ **Let in the light.**_

 _ **Let in the light of your sweet shadow.**_

 _When you're alone, oh,_

 _Silence is all you know._

 _Silence is all,_

 _Silence is all around._

 _Silence is all_

 _Silence is all around_

But before I could finish the last note, Erik passionately kissed me on the lips, to which I reciprocated immediately. However, our moment of passion was interrupted by a knock on the door, and I heard Erik growl in response to the interruption. I then saw a maid peep their head gingerly around the door and said meekly.

"Dinner is served your majesty, your highness." Before leaving the doorway again.

"I guess we should go downstairs. Before Antoinette comes after us." I said meekly.

"We'll continue this later Mon ange." He breathed huskily into my ear, causing a shiver to spread through my body, before we made our way downstairs to the dining room. As we ate, I could see Erik looking across the table, with fire in his eyes. Once we finished, we went upstairs, to get ready for bed. As I went to the laces in the back, I found myself struggling to undo them.

"Do you require some assistance Mon ange?" A low voice breathed into my ear. I shivered as I remembered what Erik said only moments earlier.

"Please." I pleaded quietly, as no other words could escape me at that moment. I shivered as he slowly undid the laces.

"Please." I pleaded quietly again, as he took his time peeling the dress from my body.

"There's no need to rush, we have all the time in the world." He cooed breathily. I leaned back into his chest, as he ran his hands up and down my body. As the pleasure overtook my body, I felt my knees give out from under me. However I blushed, as I felt a pair of strong arms grab me around the waist, before carrying me over to the bed. I found myself pouting, when I noticed the fact, Erik was still wearing a lot of clothes, compared to me. Without a second thought, I found myself ripping the shirt from his body. But where did this sudden confidence come from? I know I didn't possess it before, so how did it materialise? It didn't appear Erik was complaining, as a shiver ran down his body, when the cool night air hit his exposed chest. As I ran my hands over his chest, I felt him undo the corset, before pulling the chemise over my head. I leaned my head back, as he paid particular attention to the brand on my neck, before moving his mouth down to my breasts. But why didn't I shy away this time? Last time I didn't want him to touch it, but now I have no qualms about him doing so. As he suckled my nipples, until they became hard, I started to undo the button on his trousers, his arousal evident against the tight fabric. However, as I pulled down the last item of clothing, my hand accidentally brushed against his manhood, causing him to gasp. I pulled away my hand suddenly, as a blush graced my cheeks.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked meekly.

"Don't stop." He pleaded, as he took my hand, before bringing it down to his manhood. He then guided my hand, to gently grasp it, before slowly moving it up and down his length. Soon enough, he stopped guiding my hand, as the motion came naturally to me.

"I can't hold on Mon Ange." He gasped, as he took my hand, before positioning himself above my entrance. As he slowly entered me, my back arched and my eyes fluttered shut, as I felt the pleasure move through my body. I felt my walls tighten around him, and I knew I was getting close to climaxing, as a moment later I screamed out Erik's name. I knew Erik followed suit, as his seed was shot into my womb. I also felt his body shudder a little, and I heard him breathe out my name. I noticed he was about to pull out of me, when I said meekly.

"Please stay, I like the feeling of you inside of me."

"Good night Mon ange. I'll be beside you when you wake." And I closed my eyes, as sleep took over...


	34. Chapter 33

**Another chapter :) Sadly the last one...apart from a small epilogue of course :) Reviews are welcome as always and I only own my OCs...anything else I don't own :/ On with the show! :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Thirty-Three: Proud of Your Girl...**

 **Caroline's POV**

 **~July 4** **th** **1908~**

It was the morning of my coronation, and when I awoke, I found myself alone once again. I guess Erik was making sure, all the arrangements were sorted and perfect for me, before the ceremony began. Suddenly however, I felt nauseous, causing me to run into the bathroom, before throwing up what little food I had in my stomach. Before I could protest, I felt someone push my hair out of the way, and rub my back soothingly.

"Are you ok Mon ange? You've been like this for at least a week now." Erik cooed when I finally stopped throwing up.

"It's nothing. Just nerves about the impending coronation, that's all." I replied stonily.

"How long have you been hiding this from me for? I've noticed the throwing up for about a week, but it has been going on longer than this hasn't it?" He asked concernedly.

"It has, but I won't be able to tell you how long exactly. Although I have noticed that my...monthly cycle is late. Don't you think that is a bit odd?" I replied curiously.

"I can call a doctor before the ceremony." He said gently.

"The doctor can wait. Everything needs to go as planned. For all I know it could be nerves or stress that is the cause of all this." I replied gently. I watched as he sighed a little, before replying in resignation.

"Ok, I will do as you ask because I love you. But after the ceremony, I will call the doctor to examine you."

"Now, let's get you into your gown shall we? The ceremony is due to start this afternoon, and I want to make sure everything is ready, including our future queen." Erik said gently. I nodded in agreement, before doing my usual morning ministrations, as well as have a bath. Once I was washed and dried, Erik helped me into my undergarments, before placing the dress over my head.

"Would you like something to eat? I could get something sent up to you, whilst I check all of the preparations are complete." Erik asked gently, as he placed his hands on my shoulders. With a small nod, I watched as Erik left the room. But was I really hungry? Or was I trying to appease him? I wrung my hands nervously, as I began to pace. Was I really ready for this next step? Would my parents be proud of me if they were still alive? Not caring if anyone was potentially watching, I opened my mouth and sung my heart out.

 _Proud of your girl,_

 _I'll make you proud of your girl,_

 _Believe me, hard as I have been to shape,_

 _You're in for a dramatic change._

 _I've wasted promise,_

 _I've wasted talent,_

 _So say I am a freak,_

 _Not normal, okay, I agree._

 _That I've been a burden,_

 _Some daughter, some princess, some Bellerose,_

 _But I'll somehow get over these burdening, demanding, stubbornness times._

 _You'll see, father, mother, comes the new part,_

 _I'll do well for the people,_

 _For this I swear,_

 _I'll do this for you,_

 _And make you proud of your girl._

 _Tell me I've been unadventurous, rebellious,_

 _I won't disagree, no sir,_

 _Say I'm dramatic, stubborn, unfit to be ruler,_

 _But that can't be how I'm viewed._

 _Times flows by me,_

 _But let it pass, let it go,_

 _There's no way I can make you believe me,_

 _Not yet, I know, but,_

 _Somehow and soon,_

 _I'll make you proud of your girl._

 _Though I can't make myself outgoing,_

 _Beautiful, adventurous,_

 _Or normal._

 _I'll conceal and don't feel, what else can I do?_

 _Since I wasn't born normal like father or you,_

 _But I swear I will,_

 _I promise to make you,_

 _Proud of your girl._

As the last note echoed around the room, that was when I looked in the mirror and saw Erik standing in the doorway, with a tray in his hands. Without warning or reason I burst into tears. It was when Erik embraced me tightly, that I realised he placed the tray down which contained our breakfast.

"Your parents would be proud of you Mon ange. Your mother would be so proud." He cooed.

"I don't know why I am so emotional today." I sniffled.

"It could be just nerves. But I'll be with you the entire time. And there are guards everywhere, so if anyone does try to take you, they will protect you." He said gently. With a nod in agreement, I untangled myself from his embrace, before picking up a pastry from the tray. After eating the pastry, I looked in the mirror one last time, before making my way towards the door.

"I guess we should go down and get ready to start. The sooner we begin the better." I said quietly.

"If that is what you wish." Erik replied, before holding out his hand towards me. I took it gently, before being led out of the door. As we walked towards the ballroom, where the coronation was to take place, I saw Nadir standing outside the door.

"Good morning princess. How are we this fine morning?" He questioned jovially.

"I am feeling good thank you. Thank you for asking." I replied happily, hoping he wouldn't see through my white lie.

"Are you nervous at all? If you are I won't judge. You can trust your Uncle Nadir, you know that don't you?"

"I am a little nervous yes. But I trust you with my life; I know you would never judge me. I guess I was just hoping you might not broach the subject, that's all." I replied quietly. However, I decided not to say anything to him, about the sickness I have been experiencing, as I didn't want to get his hopes up quite yet.

"Shall we begin princess? Everyone is seated and awaiting your arrival." Nadir asked gently. With a nod in assent, Nadir opened the door, and I heard the most beautiful piano piece playing.

"I composed this piece especially for the occasion. I call it 'The Aerie'." Erik whispered as he walked me down the aisle. We reached the front of the room, where the archbishop was waiting at the other end. I then stood in front of him, with Erik and Nadir standing to one side.

"Please be seated." He said stoically and I realised everyone had stood up when I entered the room.

"Do you Caroline Bellerose swear to take the oath?" He asked.

"I swear to take the oath." I replied stoically.

"I Caroline Bellerose swear to rule this country with a fair and just heart." He began.

"I Caroline Bellerose swear to rule this country with a fair and just heart." I repeated.

"I swear to follow the rules and customs as dictated by this country.

"I swear to follow the rules and customs as dictated by this country." I continued.

"I anoint you with this holy oil, and present to you the sceptre and crown of this country." He said. After drawing a cross on my forehead with the oil, he handed me the sceptre and placed the crown on my head.

"I present to you, Queen Bellerose of France!" He exclaimed and I turned around as people stood up and applauded. However, before I could leave the room towards the after party, the doors burst open and a large group of men ran into the room. Brandishing their swords and guns towards the guests. I watched with wide eyes as none other than Raoul De Chagny stepped through the crowd of guards.

"As queen I command you to leave at once, or you will be arrested!" I commanded, as I stood regally at the top of the stairs, even though I was unsure where this newfound confidence came from exactly. I then heard the sheathing of swords, followed by Nadir and Erik stepping in front of me.

"Don't worry your highness, I live to serve and protect you!" Nadir said, as he poised his sword towards Raoul.

"I will protect you until my dying day." Erik beseeched, as he also poised his sword towards Raoul.

"You will allow this freak to rule our great country?!" Raoul yelled, causing confusion to grace the faces of some of the guests. He snapped his fingers, and before Erik or Nadir could stop them, I heard the tearing of fabric, as my neck was exposed for everyone to see. I could feel some blood dripping down my neck, probably from where the sword nicked the skin a little. I heard some people gasp, as the brand was revealed for the first time since my kidnapping, for everyone to see. I felt the tears fall, as shame and embarrassment washed over me. I then heard the cocking of a pistol, and I realised Raoul was poising a pistol towards me.

"Now I will do this country a favour and shoot you where you stand!" And I closed my eyes, as I waited for the inevitable pain to follow. However, after I heard the gunshot, I felt nothing, but instead I heard the thump of a body, falling in front of me. I opened my eyes and gasped, as I saw Erik slumped on the floor, whilst holding his now bleeding left arm.

"Erik!" I screamed tearfully, as I felt hands wrap around my arms tightly, before dragging me away. After being bundled into a carriage, and it started driving away, I looked out of the window, wondering whether Erik was alive or not. As a familiar kingdom came into view, I accepted my fate, as hopelessness washed over me. I didn't even fight or resist, as I was dragged towards the dungeons, before being chained to the wall...

 **Erik's POV**

When the pain passed, I looked around, to see some people looking panicked. There were other people however looking confused or even angry.

"We need to bring her back!" I commanded, as I grabbed my sword, before making a move towards the door.

"Your majesty you are in no fit state to go after anyone! You need that wound tended to, otherwise you will bleed to death!" Nadir exclaimed, as he grabbed my other arm.

"I need to save her! We were going to see the doctor after the ceremony! She has been nauseous for quite some time now. I wanted the doctor to check up on her. I wanted to know she was ok." I replied quickly.

"You don't think, she is with child, do you?" Nadir breathed.

"Well, yes and no, but I guess it is possible. But I am afraid we might not find out for certain, unless we get her back." I replied slowly and with that I grabbed my sword and went towards the stables. After saddling Caesar, I was about to ride out towards the De Chagny kingdom, when someone stepped in front of Caesar.

"Step away or I will instruct him to trample you." I commanded slowly.

"Let me come with you. I care about the princess like she was my own daughter. I want her back too. But we need to do this together, if we are to bring her back to us." Nadir said slowly.

"Alright, grab a horse and let's go!" And with effortless grace, Nadir jumped onto a horse, before calling the guards nearby to follow us. We then rode towards the De Chagny kingdom, as I had a feeling Raoul would have taken her there. He probably believed I was already dead, as he always had this arrogant air about him . As we made our way to the kingdom, I prayed Nadir was wrong about her being with child. As Raoul could use that fact against me. I also prayed Caroline was still alive.

 **Caroline's POV**

I woke up and shook my head a little, as I woke up from my slumber, to find myself no longer restrained. A tray of food was found in front of me. However, instead of eating the food, I felt the overwhelming feeling of nausea overcome me, as I threw up what little food I had in my stomach.

"Am I led to believe you are carrying that freak's child? But it won't inherit his deformity will it? Since it was caused by a fire. But what's to say it won't inherit your disability? The one thing you have been hiding from me all this time?" A voice said smugly, and I looked up to see Raoul standing in front of me, with a smirk on his face.

"Considering no-one knew about it, until Eugene discovered it, how was I to know I even had the disability to begin with?" I asked angrily.

"And the child might not inherit my disability. How do you know for certain? And how do you know about the fire?" I continued curiously.

"You will find out in time. Now you best eat your breakfast, you don't want to starve yourself do you? You could kill the child if you do." And after closing and locking the door behind him, I just lay on the floor and cried.

"Oh Erik...will you ever come and rescue me?" I wept, as sleep took over once again.

When I woke up once again, the tray had vanished, and I heard an almighty crash coming from downstairs. Before I could try and gauge what was going on, the door burst open, and I was dragged out of the room.

"Come my dear, we have a guest." A voice said coldly, whom I recognised as belonging to Raoul. Once we reached our destination, I saw two guards restraining a struggling Erik. Two other guards were poising their swords towards Nadir and some of our guards.

"Erik! I thought you had died!" I cried out, relieved, before pulling myself out of Raoul's grasp and running towards him. But I didn't get very far as a guard poised a sword towards me, I stepped back a little, as it got a little too close to my stomach for comfort.

"You will annul the marriage and abdicate the throne! Or I will kill her and the child!" Raoul commanded. I watched closely, as it appeared Erik was debating what to do exactly.

"I challenge Raoul De Chagny to a duel, with swords, no tricks. Devil take the hindmost. I win, you let us go. You win, I'll annul the marriage and abdicate the throne, and everything is yours." He said evenly. How could he do this to me? Just sacrifice my life and potentially the life of our child. I mean what were to happen if he lost? I would be forced to marry the man who killed my parents and tortured me. I then watched as we were led towards the door. Where were we going though? Were we duelling outside or at Erik's castle? I then watched as Erik and Nadir, as well as the guards clambered on their horses, whilst I was forced into a nearby carriage, before making our way to Erik's castle. All the while, I looked nervously out of the window, hoping and praying Raoul would lose the duel, and that I would be reunited with Erik once more. We arrived at the castle, and I watched as Raoul climbed gracefully out of the carriage, whilst Erik gracefully leapt off of Caesar's back. After unsheathing their swords, they faced each other, before turning away and taking five paces back. Once they were facing each other, I exclaimed pleadingly.

"No Erik! Don't risk your life for me!"

"I would do anything for you, even give up my own life, if it means you are safe." He replied passionately. He then exclaimed.

"En garde!" Taking the combat position, before thrusting forward with his sword. Sparks flew, as the blades clashed and caressed each other. The sound of the blades clashing each other felt unpleasant, as a high pitched ringing hit my ears, and I covered my ears in pain. At first it appeared they were equally matched, as they matched move for move, thrusting and parrying simultaneously each time. However, suddenly Raoul lunged forward, causing me to gasp, and for Erik to retreat back and parry the attack. However, I noticed he winced a little, as he held his left arm, pain evident on his features. Was he still going to be able to fight? As he always held his sword in his left arm. I could tell his injured arm was bothering him. But why would he fight a duel, when he is badly injured, and the stakes are so high? Would he really risk his life, just to ensure my safety and continued existence?

"I see the monster does bleed. But did you ever wonder how the fire started, which killed your mother?" Raoul said tauntingly. I knew he was trying to anger Erik, so he would start making careless mistakes. However, instead of the anger making him reckless, it appeared to make him even more determined, and stronger in his moves. Suddenly, Erik took a swipe at Raoul, causing him to fall back with a yell of pain, blood gushing from the wound in his leg. Erik was about to stab Raoul with the killing blow, when I yelled pleadingly.

"No Erik! Not like this!"

"But why Mon ange? He killed your parents, threatened your life, and that of our child. How can you let him live?" He asked sadly.

"He should at least stand trial first. Be punished for his crimes, and be jailed for the crimes he has committed against our country." I replied slowly.

"I see she has made you soft. But don't you want to find out the truth about the fire that disfigured you and killed your mother?" Raoul asked gloatingly.

"How do you know about the fire?" Erik breathed.

"Oh I know everything about the fire, because I started it. I just didn't count on you and your father surviving. You see, I was betrothed to Caroline here. However, when I found out about your betrothal to her, I tried to get rid of you, so I could marry her." He replied slowly.

"How come you knew about the betrothal before I did? After your father killed my parents, I was hidden away for two years, no-one told me about my betrothal to him, until I turned 18." I asked slowly.

"My father was good friends with your father, so they talked about everything together. Including the imminent betrothal between you and Erik, when you turned 18. However, after Erik was disfigured at 16, you were also 16 at the time, they grew apart. My father believed I should have married you, hence he arranged a betrothal between us. However, your father believed you and Erik would be perfect for each other, since you are both outcasts, so the betrothal still went ahead. This caused my father to become bent on revenge. And since I had the belief drummed into me, that a De Chagny always gets what they want, I wanted to help my father with his revenge plot. That plot was to kill your parents, in the hopes no-one could stand in my way, since Erik disappeared for a few years after the fire. However, once your parents were killed, you also disappeared for two years. It wasn't until that night of your 17th when my father encountered you again. But any plans my father had for you were thwarted by Erik's interruption..."

"But how could you help with the murder of my parents? I needed their support, I needed my mother's support, and you killed her?" I interrupted.

"Because I am a De Chagny, and I always get what I want." He replied coldly, before he was dragged away by the guards. I just stood and stared, as I watched Raoul being dragged towards the dungeons, until I felt a pair of arms embrace me tightly.

"Are you alright Caroline?" He asked quickly. I nodded in assent, as I couldn't find the words to say in reply.

"It's alright...you're safe now...he can't hurt you anymore." He cooed, still in his embrace, as the sun set in the sky...


	35. Chapter 34

**Sorry if this chapter seems so short :/ But two chapters in one day :) That is pretty good going for me :) Thank you to everyone who has read, followed, favorited and reviewed this story :) It means a lot to me :) Keep a look out for more Phantomy-goodness to come :) There will be plenty more stories to come after this one :) As you know I own only Caroline :) All other characters belong to their respective owners :)**

* * *

 **The Rose of Self**

 **Chapter Thirty-Four: Epilogue**

 **~One Year Later~**

 **Caroline's POV**

It had been a year since Raoul was captured. He was tried for murder and treason and found guilty for his crimes. His punishment for his crimes was to be hung from the gallows. However, even though Erik insisted I do not attend the execution, as I was nine months pregnant at the time, I still went, almost to the detriment of my health. Soon after Raoul was hung, I went into labour, which was long and painful. All I really remember was almost dying, as I lost a lot of blood and energy. Luckily, the doctor managed to stop the bleeding, and we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, whom we christened Marie Alexis Charles Destler. We named her after our mother, as well as after our fathers. It was funny how both of our mothers had the same name. Sadly, after what happened, I could not have any more children, as my uterus was damaged beyond repair. But Erik tells me how lucky he feels to be a father to the most beautiful girl in existence. He also tells me how lucky he feels being married to me. I just couldn't believe a person like me is now a queen, wife and mother. But being married to Erik has made me learn, that there is someone out there who loves me for who I am, and that even though I am known to some people as 'The Rose of Self', I can be adventurous and live up to my maiden name. And I wouldn't have it any other way...


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